Wimminz – celebrating skank ho's everywhere

August 24, 2014

Technology rarely lies… too much…

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: , — wimminz @ 11:06 pm

WhatsApp, I use it quite a bit.

I can look through my contacts, (does just that to prove a point) last seen 22/08 at 22:03…

looks at contact which is in fact my other phone, gives the same info, turn other phone off and remove battery, gives last seen date and time…

Reinsert battery in other phone, power up, open whatsapp, BLOCK my first phone.

Go back to first phone, look at contact of second phone, suddenly no status as to when last online, send a message, same as normal but you only get the one tick, message sent, the second tick, message received, won’t come up.

The kicker is the no status as to when last online, that is the sign you have been blocked, the second tick, well, their phone could be off, or they could be in a weak reception area, but it will still say when last seen online, even if that was last year.

So this skank, I mentioned this a day or so ago, decides to block me and move on, fair enough and fuck you very much, but I sent her an email saying fine block me and get on with your new old start in life, like I give a fuck, can I have my shit back that I left there, and do you want to collect your fucking iphone (like me, she has more than one phone)

So I get an email response , which my mate saw as he was here and I was using the big screen, and this email says basically I dropped my phone in the water that’s why I ain’t been in touch, but fuck you back too and kthxbye.

Now my mate is saying to me, could be true, and I say to him, no, for starters, this skank lies, I know this for a fact, and for seconds, if she had dropped her phone in the water, my phone would still show her last online status.

So the whole I dropped my phone in the water thing is a lie.

Now, don’t get me wrong, if she wants to block me, that’s fine, her life, her right, that isn’t the issue, the issue is the lying, and the fact that the technology doesn’t back up the lie, it exposes it.

What was the purpose of her email, which did not even mention my shit which she has, or her shit which I have, all it says is if that’s all you think of me then kthxbye, and that she didn’t block me, she dropped her phone in the water.

She says three things, we already know the second thing is a lie, she may or may not have dropped her phone in the water, (thing one) it’s not relevant, but she did block me. (thing two)

And the third thing is the driver, blaming me, I did wrong, she didn’t, and for falsely accusing her, allegedly, kthxbye, which is the thing #2, but now it is justified somehow.

The driver is the anatomy of the lie, and the liar.

She could not NOT send that email, falsely claiming innocence and also victim-hood of my allegedly false assumptions…. in her own mind she knew that just blocking me instead of saying hey, it’s been fun, but I want a fresh start, was the cowards way out, and the wrong (much less than optimal) way to handle the situation.

What I found amusing was my mate’s relative “weighting” of the technology saying one thing, and some skank with monster tits saying quite another.

Whereas the reality of ongoing contact between us meant her maintaining the ongoing and ever more complex web of lies that she had built about her life away from me vs her life with me, because she knew damn well I did not buy *any* of the shit she fed me about her life away from me.

But.. my mate says… how do you know for sure?

The technology *could* be misleading, well, yes, it could, in theory, in practice, as a by product of the time we spent together, and I am not talking about or including the digital content that *I* created, I am talking about content that she created while we were not together, but left lying around my place digitally, simply because she doesn’t really grep the technology, and did not turn off syncing and backup, even when I told her to, after the sync and backup served its purpose at at early visit, I have a 4 gigabyte backup of everything on two of her phones, and a 95 gig compressed backup of her pc, and no I am not going to show it to you, consisting largely as it does of home made porno still and video and swingers hookups and so on, all of which are also created with date and time stamps, and yes, I can tell you for a fucking fact, the only time I can guarantee she wasn’t lying to me was when I had my cock down the back of her throat.

(why should I delete it, it wasn’t created without her knowledge or permission, it was created for a purpose, which it was used for, I don’t use it, it just sits there, archived and ignored, consider it future insurance, you can’t be too careful.. see elsewhere on this blog for talks about digitally archiving every fucking thing… just in case)

But, the other killer is this, I sent my farewell but what about all this fish email to the three email accounts of hers that I knew, cc’d, I knew she had others, but didn’t know the actual email addresses, the reply came from a domain I did not know she had an email account with, sent via a phone on a network I did not know she had an account with, in a completely different name from the kind of name she usually used.

Lots of people will have JohnSmith@domain, and JSmith65 (being the year of birth) @domain, and JohnnyS@domain, but even then, there is a limit to how many different emails most normal people will normally use….

I’m kind of at that limit, 4 email addresses that I use, on three different domains, and two mobile phones, on two different networks.

One thing that became apparent about my psycho skank ho ex was that she had about a dozen or more emails that she used regularly, on half a dozen different domains, and with significantly differing handles, like JohnSmith@domain1, JukeboxJonny@domain2, JayJay@domain3 and JonJones@domain4, etc.

And this skank is doing the exact same thing.

So, in her desire / need to tell me this lie…

1/ she just underlines the fact she is a liar.

2/ she reveals yet another user name she is going by

3/ she reveals yet another email account / domain

4/ she reveals yet another mobe contract / sim card / provider / network

All of which simply highlight the compartmentalisation that she is attempting to use to keep all these separate threads of her existence separate from each other, and failing miserably.

I would lay good money that she doesn’t in fact remember what lies she has or has not told me, and couldn’t work it out if her life depended on it, and it is fact this complexity that goes a long way towards being the ticking clock on the *relationships* that she does form.

Incidentally, talking of technological prowess, these sorts of skanks will typically have thousands of pictures on their PC, a good proportion of which are porno selfies, and yet, the sum totality of pictures is usually “organised” into just two or three folders, all of which sit under C:\users\skanksname, right alongside C:\users\skanks13year old son and C:\users\skanks15yearold son, both of whom of course grew up in the digital age…

And this ongoing train crash is what my mate thinks *might* be telling the truth, OK, the bitch has genuinely big tits, and she is a genuinely willing and dirty and will do anything you like at all fuck, but that is *it*

He looks at me askance… Do you like her, he asks… *NO*

Did you ever, he asks, no, can’t say I did, sure, there was a period there in the beginning before the proofs came in that X Y and Z that she has told me were lies, and during that period there was I will admit an acceptance of the idea of spending every weekend fucking her ass off, you know, she would have been OK to *own*… but even that, it has to be said, was 99.9% theoretical, I never actually bought into any of it emotionally, or built any castles in the sky of my own, much less actually thought about giving up my pad and cohabiting or any of that shit… it was a good free fuck… that’s all.

Do you wonder about what could have been, he asks.

You mean, like could have been as in if shit were shinola, purest impossible fantasy stuff, or what could have been as in a total fucking train wreck involving police and social services and all the rest of that shit, quite possible real world shit?

I tell him, I could, if I wished, go through that 100 gig of archives of hers, and I could pull out every pic and vid selfie of her fucking, and I could then pull up *my* data, and compare the two, dump all the pics that pre-date *us* and all the pics that post date *us*, and then go through the rest, and what I do find interesting if I do that, and I haven’t, but I have glanced though the archive, isn’t that when we weren’t together she was fucking other guys…

Does that bother you, he asks… no, why should it, I was fucking other sluts…

No, what is interesting is I am 99.99% sure that *NOWHERE* in that archive is a single picture or mention of me.

No, don’t ask me why I think that is, that is one rabbit hole I do not want to go down, but during that period, I was seeing her *way* more than any of these other guys, and I know for a fucking fact she had at least three naked selfies of me, because I fucking sent them to her.

Do you miss her, he asks, in any way at all.

No, the sex was good, no doubt about it, but the lies man, they kill the sex, they kill the sexual response, they kill the “phwoarr” response, it’s like looking back at a now famous rock band that are crap and sell outs, but you saw em many times back in the day, when they were taking off, but had not yet slid all the way down the sewer….

.. for sex today, hey, I got another skank, a little older than this one (who was 20 years my junior) but nice and compliant and dirty and a good sized pair of tits, and who hasn’t actually told me any significant lies yet, so what’s to miss?

I’m supposed to miss damaged goods?

Yeah, I feel a sort of melancholy, it’s all so fucking senseless, she is her own worst enemy and in a world where shit was shinola she could change into something better and turn her life around, but in this world, with my life ticking away a day at a time, and me with no skin in that game?

Bitch has two teenage sons who *definitely* are aware of exactly what she does, and a pre-pubescent daughter, and it all just gets fucking worse from there on in.

And then my mate said the dumbest thing I have ever heard the asshole say, and I said to him, in all the years I have known you, that is the dumbest fucking thing I have ever heard you say… he said do I think her environment and circumstances made her the liar she is, you know, building castles in the sky as a sort of self defence against the harsh realities of the fuck-up that is her life.

So, you don’t think that’s the case then.

I said, water finds its own level.

I can introduce you to people living in shit-hole estates with fuck all spare cash, and they don’t tell lies, and their lives aren’t a never ending train wreck, because they know how little of a buffer they have, and because they know that actions have consequences, and enough of them you can’t claim the exception proves the rule.

Her living on a sinkhole estate or her getting through 100 cocks in a year didn’t make her have a dozen or more different emails and so on, and compartmentalise life into different castles in the sky, nor does being the kind of dishonest person she is with dozens of email addresses mean she has to live on a sink-hole estate or get through 100 cocks a year, not everything at the waterhole is a croc.

Hell, there is a woman not five miles from here with a ton of money and property and everything else you can think of, in every other way she is identical to this bitch, damaged goods. (and that doesn’t imply some other cunt did the damage neither)

Living in a shit-hole is a CIRCUMSTANCE.

Lying like a cunt is a CHOICE.

My mate says yeah, now you’ve said that, I got the words to explain what I really mean, couldn’t explain it proper before, its like, when the whatsapp thing happened, you just, ok, maybe not jumped, but went straight to the conclusion she blocked you, and when you saw her email there, you went straight to the conclusion she was lying, and ok, she lied to you before, but does that mean she *couldn’t* have been telling the truth, like, shouldn’t she, or anyone else, have the chance to be believed?

But, I said, the technology rarely if ever lies, the only two ways that you can not get a contact’s status on whatsapp is if they have blocked you, or the whatsapp network isn’t synced to your phone properly, so you reboot the phone and it syncs, and I reboot my phone daily, I’m a cunt like that, and it was three days her whatsapp status was giving no info.

OK, like, she *was* fucking lying man, like, she has (for the time I have known her) always been a fucking liar, leopards and spots man.

Dude, I tell him, technology can lie, sort of, the oil pressure warning bulb that doesn’t light up because it is blown and so it doesn’t warn you your oil pressure is low, or the dead neon in the mains extension lead that doesn’t warn you the lead is live.

They aren’t *lying* to you, there is no INTENT TO DECEIVE…. it doesn’t sit there and say “Fuck him”, or treat you differently to me, it doesn’t have an AGENDA.

Liars all got an agenda, and the only thing that is ever on it is themselves.

That got nothing to do with having a hard life of living in a shit hole.

That’s about a total lack of respect, and sure, your oil pressure bulb don’t respect you either, but it is inanimate, so the full phrase is a total lack of respect for another human being.

How can she respect me, when she doesn’t respect her two technologically turned on teenage sons, and keeps pics and vids and records of her sexual exploits on computers the whole family uses, even the pre pubescent girl?

It’s all part of the greater whole man.

Sure, I may take it personally when my psycho skank ho ex dropped an FRA on my ass, and it was personal, but I ain’t the only fucker she pulled that on in her life, on the contrary, you can’t find nobody she did not shit on.

He got it then, 99.99% of our ACTIONS, not personal circumstances, but ACTIONS, are characteristic of our personality, it is incredibly rare for someone to do something truly out of character, leaving the toilet seat up, switching a light off when you leave a room, washing a cup or putting it in the sink and leaving it, checking zerohedge before you check slashdot, or vice versa, having multiple emails, or blocking people on whatsapp because you can’t think of any new lies that even you would believe, it is all IN CHARACTER.

I didn’t see something and jump to a conclusion, or claim the boy had cried wolf, or anything else, there wasn’t a rush to judgement, it’s just observation, like observing that a particular vending machine only ever drops out tins of 7up, it doesn’t matter what button you press, all you ever get is 7up.

So when tomorrow rolls around and you see (no matter who pressed the button, or even if they ASKED for a 7up) the same machine drop a can of 7up you just nod to yourself and think ayup. No change there then.

No matter what the CIRCUMSTANCES of our past purely sexual relationshit…

… the skank CHOSE to lie to me, the same CHOICE she made numerous times in the past.

I don’t judge her for her CIRCUMSTANCES, I do for her CHOICES… and EVERYONE has choices.

Except technology, technology doesn’t have free will.

As he was walking out, my mate asked, so what has these recent events with this skank done, have they actually made a difference to how you see her?

I said yeah, if she’d just ignored me she would have been filed away in my ex skank mental filing system as some ex skank with a significant large negative number -n, representing the depth of the hole she has dug in my estimation.

Since she replied with yet more bullshit and lies, that negative number is now greater and that hole in my estimation is deeper, it’s already well below my water table of would get involved with again, so now its just a case of deepening the well, or cess pit.

Not just got no skin in that game, but thank fuck I got no skin in that game, so long, and thanks for all the kinky fucks… In the words of Captain Cornelius Butt, I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll make an exception… and the next time you’re passing my door.. keep going…

September 22, 2013

Nooo Peee Ceee – Final

OK, brain dump time..

Almost invariably these mobo’s like the PX79XPRO have in addition to the Intel X79 sata ports some others, in my case Marvell, but you find Highpoint etc too, and these are always used for software raid.

  1. Never use software raid, never, ever, ever, if you want a raid set up go out and spend the bucks and buy a pukka LSI or Adaptec card.
  2. Never ever use these ports for anything except “last” when all the other sata ports are full.

Software raid is like fucking a bloated bitchy entitlement pwincess skank, hardware raid is like fucking a hot 16 year old slut with a great body who worships your cock… so the moral here is unless you have used hardware raid you don’t know shit about how raid is supposed to look and feel and perform.

When doing a new build;

  1. set up the bios
  2. with NO network cable installed (network hardware possibly wont work anyway without the drivers) install winders flavour of your choice
  3. make a folder called “Drivers” on your HD, make a new folder inside this for your drivers CD‘s, mobo, gfx, etc
  4. copy the entire contents of each cd to the appropriate folder
  5. go to control panel > device manager, look at all the hardware without drivers, work your way through it updating the drivers and telling it to browse to the “drivers” folder and search sub-folders, if it can’t find one, move on to the next.
  6. repeat #5 with the aid of another PC, Google and the hardware makers website support / download section if required.

Basically the idea here is to install the drivers, not all the bloatware and crap that using the cd in auto-run mode will install, Asus, like everyone else, are cunts for this… the reason for unplugging the network cable is you want the manufacturers drivers, not Microsoft ones via MS update.

If the drivers asks you to reboot, LET IT, don’t be tempted to save time by whacking half a dozen in before rebooting…

You need ALL the drivers sorted before going any further, or even thinking about installing software or testing your PC for speed or reliability.

On another PC, go to ninite.com and tick all the stuff you want, click get installer, save to a USB stick, put on new build. It will be a tiny file, 300k or so in size.

Then you can connect the network cable and run the ninite exec, and let the background winders update.

Prior to doing all this, at the build stage, hot air rises, so your fans should promote this, my build has a 120 mm fan low at the front of the case drawing air in, and a 120 mm fan high at the back of the case expelling the air, creating a good flow path through the case, the big noctua HSF is angled to work WITH this flow, not against it or across it.

Always “offer up” the motherboard before installing it, personally speaking I place the mobo on something soft but firm, a clean dish towel laid on a table is fine, then install the following;

  1. CPU
  2. HSF
  3. RAM

and then install that into the case… this can make some screws awkward to get at, but a tiny dab of grease or Vaseline on the end of the screwdriver will hold all those screws to the screwdriver.

Don’t cable tie and tidy your cables away until after you have checked nothing is fouling or pulling on anything else, and that the build is basically working.

Don’t force anything, even though everything is within spec, you can get situations where some shit just don’t fit, that big Noctua HSF just fouls the side on lots of cases, because those cases go outside spec and put windows or dished centres or grilles or fans and crap in the side door, stop the build and go and buy a proper fucking case.

Once your basic PC is built and sorted, you have your windows updates done, via ninite you have your a/v software (I like !Avast) in, and you have some basic utils, NOW IS THE TIME to ensure you have a good system restore point, and set up backup, ideally to a network location such as your NAS, if you don’t have a NAS box yet, use your old PC to build one.

NOW you are ready to install your software, and start with the shit that is going to stay on there longest, so, no matter how much you are itching to try GTA-V on that baby, Office comes first.

Everything installed and working, one last job…

  1. right click the disks in my computer and select properties > disk cleanup
  2. hopefully you grabbed auslogic defrag in ninite, so do a full defrag and optimise, yes, even on an SSD on a new build.
  3. do a full, in depth a/v and malware scan.

Good to go..

September 21, 2013

Nooo Peee Ceee – part deux

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: , , , , , — wimminz @ 8:07 pm

Ok, so lets start with some pix..

20130921_103005 20130921_103022
20130921_103058 20130921_103048

You see this is the thing I like about the Noctua HSF, although it comes with dual fans you can remove one and it is still a kick ass HSF, taking the maximum possible volume between the banks of ram, gfx card and the case panel.

Because I bought good spec, and because I attached the two Vector SSD’s to the Intel sta3 ports and not the Marvell ones, and because I wasn’t daft enough to stripe them, one click on the inbuilt motherboard easy tune and you can choose between fast and very fast, where fast is 100% stable and within limits for everything, in my case an instant 25% overclock… 4.875 GHz.. this is rock stable and air cooled and fucking silent, but most of the time the cores are running as low as 1.3 GHz doing lowly shit like firing up office or simply unpacking an archive…. the RAM is of course overclocked by the same amount.

My archive test file / folder was 4,710,951,556 bytes in size and contained 2,941 Files and 119 Folders, and it wwas basically a backup copy of the internal storage of my mobile, so *every* imaginable kind of file in there, movies, music, photos and of course the entire android / dalvik OS for the phone itself.

Decompressing it takes 31 seconds.

Compressing that to a new archive with normal compression works all 8 (or if you prefer all 4 dual cores) processors at around 75% utilization and 90% clock … for 2 minutes and 29 seconds.  Compressed it is a 4.18 gig rar

If it set it to maximum compression in takes 2 minutes 35, and gives a 4.07 gig rar.

If I set compression to store, eg none to speak of, it takes 17 seconds, and gives a 4.38 gig rar

Now I could have sat here and talked about playing Crysis 2 at 1920 x 1080 on a 46″ screen with every possible graphics setting set to the highest possible setting and the whole think being silky smooth and gorgeous, but really, if that sort of thing is all there is then buy a fucking games console.

HD Tune Pro is giving me max / min figures of 359 / 293 megabytes/sec for both SSD’s. They should be the same, they are identical. This is the Benchmark test by the way, closest to real world, I could have quoted the random seek for a 8 megabyte file test, which gave 509 megabytes/sec.. the image below / right is actual from this box and test series.


As for noise, I can hear the battery electric clock in the bedroom (I’m in the lounge) tick, but the only way I can hear any noise at all from this thing is by putting my head behind it, and I can then hear the gentle sigh of the exhaust fan… or by putting  CD/DVD in the drive.

Main-board is 38 degrees and CPU is 36, CPU fan is doing 580 rpm, the two chassis fans (both 120mm) are doing 690 and 770 rpm, ambient in here with the heating on is about 23/24.

This, to me, is the result of the ethos described in part one, FUCKING silent, FUCKING cool running, FUCKING stable, FUCKING fast



August 10, 2013

The state of IT, the state of the world

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: , , , , , — wimminz @ 12:54 pm

This my friends is the straight shit.

Walk into any modern supermarket, everything, and I mean everything, every single process you can identify, has a link in the chain that absolutely relies on a working internet connection.

Where “working” means the bandwidth is sufficiently high, ping and latency and dropped packets, sufficiently low, and a whole bunch of stuff like DNS and VPN and so on just basically work.

  1. chip and pin for sales / transactions
  2. store loyalty cards
  3. barcode readers in guns and tills to update store stock and ordering
  4. staff clock in and out and hours and wages
  5. live and updating prices, offers, BOGOF etc
  6. CCTV and security systems including lighting
  7. VOIP and telephony
  8. canned muzak and in store radio stations
  9. dumps of data for the local “you shop we drop” delivery vans
  10. etc etc etc

This is by no means an exhaustive list.

Here in the UK, when you buy connectivity, doesn’t matter who you buy it off, you get the following choices… and I am talking about what you actually see on a rack etc

  1. xDSL or Cable, (but almost never cable in business environments), so basically a modem/router
  2. ISDN / kilostream, it’s already digital so router/switch
  3. EFM which is just a bunch of ISDN circuits all going into one RAD box with RJ45 out to router/switch
  4. ADVA/21cn fibre, so RJ45 out to router/switch

You’ll tend to progress through these as your size and needs grow, and for failover / redundancy, this is usually just another xDSL line, even if your primary circuit is 20/20 mbit fibre, the failover is usually going to be xDSL.

If you were going to start from scratch and rack that shit…

  1. ADVA fibre box
  2. main router, probably a Cisco, connected to 1and 4
  3. backup router, probably a Cisco, connected to xDSL and 4
  4. main firewall, probably a Juniper
  5. IP data switch
  6. VOIP switch
  7. couple of spaces
  8. local rack-mount servers and NAS boxes
  9. UPS

You can picture this, but, in real life it ain’t gonna fucking look like that for long, in real life stuff is always being fucked with and messed around piecemeal, with no attention whatsoever paid to the larger picture or the longer term view, and this is as true for symbolical things like lines of configuration or code, as it is for real physical things like boxes and cables.killingmesoftly

So, sooner or later this is what you are going to be presented with, the first challenge is FINDING the fucking box you are supposed to be pulling, from behind that waterfall of CAT5, then working out how to pull it and put in the new one, and oh yeah, this site is live 24/7 and can’t afford any downtime or service interruption.

At that point you rejoice that you are a fifty something don’t give a fuck red pill motherfucker, you just look at the cunt responsible for the above and say “I’ll unbox the new kit, I’ll liaise with the provider to bring it on line and test and sign off on it, YOU can install it, and YOU can patch it, if you can find space and cables

So of course the remaining spaces on top of the rack are consumed, and some more IEC and RJ45 is added to the waterfall.

This split between what could/should be, and what you actually find on the ground, pervades through out anything and everything to do with IT.

Heap big thing go, white man speak with forked tongue, eagles soar in canyons.

Honestly, I might as well just say this to 99.999% of people I interact with, either in my day job as a cisco bod or my evening and weekend job as a general IT go to guy for SME / SOHO types.

Sure, they will all sit there are read gibberish about “DHCP server not found” or whatever the error message of the day is, but the reality is the only thing the cunts actually UNDERSTAND is is the little green blinkenlight saying everything is OK on, or not.

Yesterday I’m stood in front of a rack of new kit comissioning a 50/50 meg fibre service on an AVDA/21cn box and a couple of rather expensive 2xxx series Cisco routers, with the company IT guy there, not the CIO MBA type, the one alleged BOFH sysadmin type, and we are discussing this install and the technology and how it differs from the EFM/DSL system they currently have, yadda yadda yadda, and you know 20130717_112456what impressed this guy the most, the bit where I point at the red CRITICAL LED on the ADVA/21cn box and tell him that as soon as the big Cisco boxes finish booting that light will go out and so we will know there is a connection between them.

We won’t know if it is a good connection data wise, if the right IP address range has been assigned or anything else, but we will know there is a physical electrical connection.

The last paragraph I might as well not have said, the guy stopped listening when I said the red light will go out.

He repeated this to me, so no red light means no problem with the fibre connection. With an unspoken question mark at the end of it.

I just look at him for a minute, think fuck it, and go yeah, that’s right.

And this is the guy everyone else in the company who uses any kind of computing or data device goes to for help.

I literally do not have the brain capacity to comprehend how completely dumb some of his users will be.


On the home front I have SME/SOHO customers who ask me to fix their kids computers, they are blue screening for a passtime.

Now these kids know enough to spec up water-cooled over-clocked up the fucking wazoo led fans abominations, and install every game known to man, and every gaming add-on, and most of the crack and bots and trainers.

These parents, even the ones whose day job is IT admin, are amazed at how leet and incredible with computers these kids are.

And yet these kids can’t simply type MSCONFIG in the start menu and uncheck all non Microsoft services and all startup apps, and instantly cure their system instability, so I charge their folks a hundred bucks to do this, and then run little Johnny’s machine for 24 hours to prove it no longer blue screens… ker-ching


Recently at work in my day job all the field staff got locked out of the company network for 36 hours, not good when you are a remote worker and ALL your data comes to you electronically, who the next job is with, what time they are expecting you, what you have to do.

All this because of a periodic policy that all passwords must be changed every six months, and passwords;

  1. can’t be anything you have used before
  2. can’t be similar (2 or 4 characters transposed) to anything you used before
  3. can’t be less than 8 characters long
  4. must contain at least one lowercase letter
  5. must contain at least one uppercase letter
  6. must contain at least one digit
  7. must contain at least one special character

For security, donchaknow, and the autistic super intelligent hyper qualified 30 something dweeb in charge of corporate security is gung-ho on this shit, so he was deeply upset when I sent him an email (not from my company email, as exchange was just one of the corporate systems I could no longer access) congratulating him on creating a system so secure even staff couldn’t log in, and proceeded to tell him a thing or two about rainbow tables and human nature and post it notes etc.

So deeply upset he cc’d my line manager in his reply, detailing his qualifications and experience and years at the very top of his field.

I thought about name dropping the dork, not so much a “I know Bill Gates” but a “Bill Gates knows me” but security related, I thought about telling him I was fucking around with “security” on fidonet/BBS and mainframes before he was even born, and common throughout was the keyboard input and human nature, I thought about pointing out that the first password issued to me when I joined the company, issued by his department no less, was “password”, then, much like the LED admin above, I thought fuck it, tell the cunt what he wants to hear, so I apologised unreservedly… and added his name to the list of people I will not go one step out of my way to help or cover up for, ever.


Which kinda brings us to PRISM / ECHELON etc, NSA/GCHQ spying and so on and so forth.

Sure, all these fuckers are slurping up everything they can, always have, always will, but, 99.999% of the staff in these places are as dumb as a bunch of rocks when it comes to it, and if there is something you should be worried about, it is not them spying on your secret communications with 1968Amy, the Huddersfield transsexual whose cock you secretly like to suck, but it’s OK, its a transsexual not a bloke, so you’re not a fag…

No, what you should be worried about is when some bad bit of coding takes 2 + 2 = 22 and not 4, and suddenly you are in the frame for something you never did, because their box of rocks technical inability to actually mine this vast pool of data for anything genuinely useful also means they are technically unable to determine that in your case it is just garbage data, that field, your terr’rist threat rating, should read 4, e.g. low / normal, and not 22, e.g. do a DeMenezes on you and see how many 9mm rounds can be fired into your head in 3 seconds.

Probabilistically speaking you should relish the massive data capture, because the more they capture, the more noise there is, and the less signal there is.

Here in the UK we have a thing, it is constantly evolving and changing its name, but it used to be CRB, or Enhanced CRB, it’s a check done on your background if you work anywhere even remotely connected to kids or wimminz, no matter how tenuous the connection… work in the basement of a company that sells life insurance, and build office PCs for a living, and you’ll need an enhanced CRB, because technically you could access some of the insurance company data on their customers, and some of those customer be wimminz with children, who, you know, you might just fancy raping and killing…

So mine runs to 8 pages of shit, but being a badass biker boy in my yoof it is all motoring related, nothing in there at all about raping and killing baby girls, so I pass…. the insanity begins when they do a check and it comes back empty, blank, nothing whatsoever, at that point they get suspicious. And yes before you ask, no mention anywhere of the allegations the ex made, or being arrested on suspicion of being any of the things she said to win in secret family court.

Not because you did all your baby raping and killing in Rwanda, that could apply to me too, so the lack of that proves nothing, what is suspicious is that you have been HERE for x years, and not left any tracks in the system of either any crimes committed, or any crimes you were suspected of or arrested for?

If there are 6 million people on the DNA database, why aren’t YOU on it? hmm? hmmm?

Getting back to the LED blinkenlights.

  1. My check, yeah, plenty of records, but nothing related to violence against wimminz or kidz, GREEN LED BLINKENLIGHT.
  2. Convicted rapists check, RED LED BLINKENLIGHT
  3. some other fucker’s check, NO LED BLINKENLIGHT

You see, #1 is the only thing anyone is looking for, same as the IT admin guy, they are looking for a simple binary choice, and if they do any checking, as he did with me, it was to query what he was supposed to think, depending on which LED’s were lit or unlit.

How do I know da po-lice and the courts and state security services all think exactly the same way as supermarket staff? Kevin Mitnick could tell you, they are all human, I could tell you, none of them make their own intertubez or routers or firewalls, they all have guys like me hired in by companies like Crapita who get the contracts on the national scale.

My security vetting? Well, it’s the same as the will-he-rape-a-baby vetting, or indeed a credit check, it just needs a green LED to light up next to my name, and that just needs to FIND records, and NOT FIND anything too nasty or relevant within those records.

I couldn’t borrow 5k from a bank to save my life, I have no history of paying back loans, no green blinkenlight.

That my friends is the real state of IT in the world today, for 99.999% of the populace a simple traffic light would suffice.


July 5, 2013

What the fuck is this

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: , , , , , — wimminz @ 11:57 pm

In my day job, as in life, basically all I see is 95% of the time people come along, look at an issue, and then proceed as though the actual issues and a theoretical issue that just happens to make life easiest for them are one and the same thing.

I had a job recently, they told me I was about the 17th site visit trying to fix their problems, which I soon realised was a simple case of the 16 before me using the attitude I just mentioned (also in AfORisms https://wimminz.wordpress.com/01-intro-and-stuff/) “fuck it, I’m doing *this* and getting my ass out of herewhat the fuck is this

So, in this case there were in fact three or four separate issues, we *think* we got it licked, but only time will tell, which is what happens when one problem is actually three or four, it used to be one problem, but the 16 fuck it types that preceded me added three more and made the original one worse.

One of the remote guys at one of our big clients knows me as “the serial number guy”, because we are doing an upgrade roll-out where boxes A and B and being replaced, but, you have to do this in a VERY specific order and way, or best case scenario is you take the entire site hard down, worst case scenario is you take the whole corporate WAN hard down, and this is for a fortune 500 type company.

I am the “serial number guy” because I insist the remote guy reads me the serial number he has on file for old box A & B, *before* I touch anything, he used to laugh at me for being anal, last week he stopped laughing, the serial number he had for old box A, and the serial number on old box A did not match, turns out some fuck swapped it out a while back and it wasn’t documented… *he* got the credit for this, I don’t give a fuck, I did *not* get the blame and my ass was covered.

In the recent job where I was #17, one of the previous guys had put a replacement box in, but it lacked a plug in card. So he pulled the card from the old box and slammed it into the new box… shame he forgot to copy the driver software for the card over too… as it happens the card itself was dying, so it all just makes things more complex and time consuming to diagnose.

I have walked in to places to fuck around with patch cables to diagnose why VOIP phones aren’t working that worked last week, only to meet an in-house guy with a REAL cable tester in his hands, one that does attenuation and shit and can calculate the length of the fucking cable and log and record results, he knows it ain’t the patch leads, I know it ain’t the patch leads, but the client’s outsourced to India tech support guy insists we spend an hour fucking with cables before agreeing to move to an unused port on the switch, which is what they were told in the first place… and 2 days later it stops working again… why? because the doofus in India didn’t update the documentation, and scanning software found what was supposed to be an unused port in use, and disabled it…. duh…


though at first glance it may seem completely unrelated, I just can’t fucking stand wimminz, because after putting up with this crap during the day, I got no time for it on my own personal unpaid time, but, this is exactly what wimminz are.

If I had a dollar for every wimminz of whom I have thought, you know, she could be fucking great except for glaring flaw exhibit A, I’d be richer than Bill Gates, so really, what are the odds that exhibit A always involved treating me like a cunt, are all down to me?

About the same as the jobs described above where the faults I walk into, which were already there, are somehow down to me.

Of course, the outcomes are the same, when things work out, well, it was just that their attitude didn’t exceed the inbuilt stability threshold, and that goes for the wimminz too… but, the times they are a changing, as we get to a critical mass of don’t-give-a-fuck in each and every process chain.

Thing is, what sets the good, the bad and the ugly apart are not such things as the sheer number of cisco or microsoft or whatever certifications the person has, sure, there is *some* correlation between the good guys and the certification, but it is fairly loose at best, give me a conscientious, thinking, observing, methodical bastard any day over the elite certificated apex dude in the field, the methodical mother will rarely if ever make anything worse, and can always tell you what he DID do, and what effects it had and what he observed.

The guy who said fuck it and didn’t bother to think long enough to load the add in card drivers from the old box has all that manufacturers certs, fucking gold accredited partner status, he can whizz bang the exams, he can spec your corporate network from a blank sheet of paper (in theory) but in practice in the field he can’t even stop to think that add in card hardware = drivers or it presents as a fault…

Many years ago in my marine engineering days we used to build, into shipping container and smaller format, complete hydraulic power pack systems.. the head of the company was a fucking hydraulic genius, and his designs were awesome, except, when you tried to build them, he’d lay out a bunch of pipes for a manifold and put them so close together you couldn’t actually get a spanner on the unions, so, we used to use his to + or – 0.1 mm spec designs as a sort of artists impression, and build it so you could actually build it, and in the two years I worked for the asshole he never actually spotted that what we built and his designs were different.

Pity the poor fucker in the field who tried to fix a repair by having a part CNC’d up according to his designs, and you wouldn’t believe how common that is in engineering… nd of course some of THAT shit is deliberate, trade secrets and branding etc, so Volvo (penta) used to buy Peugeot diesel parts, and make subtle changes so you couldn’t go out and buy a pug part at a tenth the price, which was doubly hilarious because the only reason the expensive volvo penta part died was the deliberate design changes, tow examples were cracking between the valves on the straight six diesels, and making the mechanical fuel lift pumps sealed and non-serviceable, so when the diaphragms went they leaked diesel into the sump, voilà, dilution and runaway….

For about 10 years in Spain you could buy standard UNF and UNC thread bolts, with metric head sizes because the fitters had metric spanners, not AF sets… I’ve seen that cause more “What the FUUK!!!” than chicks with dicks down Bugis St.

Old Joe was a semi retired Morris engineer who made a nice living in spain as a small garage, what with this AF and whitworth spanners and whatnot, fixing all the english cars and tractors and stuff that found its way to spain..

At the time I had a DKW (Audi) diesel truck, imagine what a cunt I looked when the clutch went one day and I looked and saw the cable was broken, so went to the auto factors to ask for a deek truck clutch cable… no señor, there is no such animal… me waves clutch cable in my hand at them, they shrug, oh dear, looks like a previous owner did a mod…

But, 20 years ago this shit was the exception that was a good tale to tell over a beer after work on a Friday, nowadays it is par for the fucking course, no greens or holes, all sand traps and bunkers.

Reminds me of a joke Fred the alky used to tell about Hell, which was full of bars and lewd wimminz, “you see all those bottles of beer, well, they all have holes in them, you see all those lewd wimminz, well, they don’t


April 5, 2013

Just a quickie

I have posted before about my latest (work) gig, putting all these remotely managed cisco boxes in businesses so that they, and the people who sell them their interwebz connection, can all sack in house IT staff and save money.

Yesterday I again had the pleasure of dealing with one of these jobs, and for those of you who ask what could possibly go wrong…

The business methodology is based on three principles;

  1. The actual keyboard / coding tech work is outsourced to Mumbai, we may be dialling local numbers but IP telephony and call forwarding means the guy you speak to is half a world away.
  2. The actual onsite work is done by people like me, cos remote guys cannot physically touch kit or alter it.
  3. The sales and management, you know, the core revenue generating business, is still done here in the UK.

Invariably there is a direct link between how well the Indian national half a world away has been able to absorb the English language and culture, and how well they have been able to absorb the coding language and culture of the box in question, whether it be Cisco, Juniper etc.

Invariably the ones with very heavy accented English that is quite difficult to understand, and it is difficult to understand when you have to ask them to repeat words like “cable” and “switch” etc, are the lowest paid, most script following, and the ones invariably assigned unless it escalates, or the UK company was enlightened enough to not go for the absolute lowest bidder.

Invariably these non native English speakers make just a big a fuckup of work orders as I would if I was trying to tell a Russian coder to go to Acme supermarket in Stolichnaya street zip code 90201, meaning the zip code is often right, but there is no supermarket there when you get there, but there is a home furnishings shop with a completely different name.

So you as the man on the spot eventually resolve this issue, find out the job is in the furnishings shop and sweet fuck all to do with ACME supermarkets, so what are the chances that the OS and configuration you have been given for the replacement router is either correct, or fully functional?

You guessed it, so you sit there for three hours with Mumbai using a remote session via your laptop to try to make the router work, and every 60 seconds they go back to their script and ask if you are sure you have connected the fucking patch leads back in from the old one…

Eventually, the job is done and lo and behold the customers computers can get back on the interwebz, and more importantly to them their chip and pin / till machines can connect to the banks so they can actually make sales via plastic the fast way….

This has only taken a three hour return trip either way for your trusty engineer, three hours onsite, and a three hour return trip either way for the courier delivering the new kit, and a couple of hours of back office staff updating web portal software so job progress can be tracked and your trusty engineer can know he is to go to ACME supermarket H^H^H^H^ Cushy Home Furnishings to swap out a router…. but just think of the money saved by getting some poor fucker in Mumbai to play with the config until the fucking thing actually works… as opposed to, you know, having a fucking working config on file for each customer and each site…


I see this shit every day, stuff that would literally terminate my business when I wear my self employed hat, and yet this is not just how big business works every day, this is how best of breed big business works every day, with outsourcing world and dog beating a path the the guys who employ me in my day job, which means loadsa work for me.

Any job that has (at least) three different sets of people in three different companies in three different geographical locations is going to be a total fuck up, because the only thing any one of them gives a fuck about is getting their own boxes ticked and their own asses covered.

Course I am an old hand at this shit, and spend maybe 25% of my time on site documenting everything and also photographing everything, so when it comes back down the grapevine that the last guy out the door broke stuff and he was only here for a minute anyway, and that last guy happens to be me, it takes me all of ten minutes to send times and dated and geolocated pictures, pics / scans of forms showing time on site and off site complete with names and signatures of people on site, and so on and so forth, but then I didn’t come down with the rain last week.

I am also an old hand in the sense the any long service guy sat in a trench will relate to, I am a waldo, cos the guy in Mumbai cannot physically do anything on site, the pay is not enough to go over the top and start taking lead, but the (same) pay is pretty good if you have managed to swing a REMF job which doesn’t really involve much of anything, driver for the colonels flunky… so the whole thing washes over me…

I don’t sit there and curse my cheap tools and underspecced and overloaded with bloatware company laptop, I take the GI attitude, if they wanted me to have it they would issue it, and if they don’t issue it they don’t want me to have it, and life is good if you chill and avoid being the bitching squeaky wheel…


Which brings me to Cyprus and the economy.

I’m the guy who turns up when the business loses net connectivity, and trust me, we do ALL the high street names and blue chip companies, so I see what happens when their net goes dark.

  1. Suddenly all the staff start running around like blue assed flies.
  2. Suddenly production / output is maybe 50% of what it was when the net was alive and the staff were all cruising.

_I_ personally am as disposable as a used tampon, but my role, well, when my role goes we are back in the stone age technologically.

When 1 and 2 above happen, even fucked up mismanaged too many cooks outsourced shit like the above looks like a good deal / saviour to the company in question.

When 1 and 2 above happen, NOBODY, but NOBODY, has a Plan B, the entire business model rests upon getting Plan A back up and running.

“Back up and running” does not mean what it means when I do work with my self employed hat on, that fucker is FIXED, it means connectivity to fuckbook / intranet / whatever is restored so I can get my piece of paper signed and leave the site, until it goes wrong again, which is just a question of time….

I have computer kit, routers and servers and firewalls, that are over a decade old, and which still work FUCKING FLAWLESSLY, so it is not the case that we cannot make shit that just works….  there is just no PROFIT anymore in making shit that just works.

And so we have local branches of businesses that have six full time employees and turn over considerable sums of money, all hanging on a single DOMESTIC grade ADSL connection, no backup, no failover, no Plan B, and frankly the very expensive and high end Cisco kit that is supposed to make it all work is no more reliable than some 50 quid Netgear crap, which they guys in the shop could buy locally ex stock, navigate to in their browser, type in ADMIN and ADMIN, and enter their ADSL username and password and be back up and on-line before I can even complete my three hour journey to get there… at least that would be an HONEST “crap but cheap” solution.

I shouldn’t complain, and I am not, if any of these people were remotely competent to run a business, I would be out of a job….. the purpose of this is to highlight the fact that in the pursuit of fucking everyone else over to nickel and dime everything to death, we have created a business infrastructure that cannot actually even keep itself going by itself.

If you think the above example, by the way, was a “bad one”, you are sadly mistaken.. at least these guys had the old PSTN phones so they could ring up another branch to get the web price of a mattress, or to manually authorise a credit card payment.

I have been to sites where, in a bid to save money, all the phone lines but one are VOIP, so when the system goes dark it ALL goes dark… the plan is I go there and using the wonders of a laptop tethered to 3/4G networks, the reseller can remote in and fix things up, except there is no mobile signal in the faraday cage that is the comms/server room, oh, the one single emergency PSTN phone line, blocked by the provider from local rate 0845 numbers, which just happens to be the ONLY support number for the reseller, in the laborious fallback strategy of they tell me what to type by voice, I type it and tell them what just happened… so even that doesn’t fucking work.

Looks like I am going to be employed for quite some time yet…lol

March 9, 2013

Network Attached Storage

I’ve gotten to that place again where all my bloody hard disks were filling up, and it was time to add to the NAS…

…and that’s where it got bloody, since it has been a while I went on a trawl of the major online vendors, and the answers were not nice.

I could buy a shitty and cheap unpopulated 2 bay NAS box from the likes of Dlink, or the next option is an equally shitty but not cheap 2 bay NAS box from Qnap, and as soon as you look at a 4 bay box, or god forbid a 5 bay box to run raid-5 it gets bloody expensive bloody fast…

So the stopgap was go out locally and buy a 3 terabyte seagate go flex jobbie, for it has to be said not a lot more than the cost of the 3 TB disk inside it.

Down sides is the bastard is fairly slow, but freefilesync and walk away means I don’t care too much and it is the initial big wad that takes the time, not daily use, so lets run some numbers.

MB = megabyte which disks are measured in, mb = megabit which transfer speeds are measured in, and there are 8 bits to a byte.

USB2 can pull a consistent 10 MB/sec on decently sized files

100 mb Ethernet is theoretically able to do 100/8 = 12.5 MB/sec, but again you’ll see nearer 8/10 in reality.

10 MB/sec is piss slow compared to even what a spinning SATA2 hard disk can handle, a good SSD SATA3 should give you 250 MB/sec easily, gigabit Ethernet will give you a theoretical 125 MB/sec, but there it is, so how long does it take to fill up a 3 TB NAS drive at say 8 MB/sec?

8 MB/sec = 480 MB / min, which equals 28.8 GB / hour

3,000 / 28.8 = 104 hours, or around 4 days, and this is ideal speeds, in reality you can add 50% easily.

Just as a chain is only as strong as the weakest link, data transfer is only as fast as the slowest link, so there isn’t a whole lot of point having a high end NAS on a 100 mb network, if you are looking at speeds alone.

In day to day use 8 MB/sec is enough, it will transfer a 700 MB CD in one and a half minutes, or a 4.5 GB DVD in about nine and a half minutes.

8 MB/sec is not enough if you are imaging hard disks for example.

A quick way around this is the NAS box we discuss below with gig-e and a crossover cable, or use one of the hot-plug bays.. >;*) 100 MB/sec here we come…


So what my “price of the bare disk inside it plus a 10% premium” 3 TB goflex is buying me is neither speed, nor reliability / quality, what it is buying me is some breathing room at a reasonable price…. it will do in the interim, but the fact is I need to do something about an upgraded NAS box.


WD do a red label disk WD30EFRX especially for NAS boxes, the bare 3 TB disk runs about 120 UK pounds a pop, one of the things you have to take in to account is your NAS disks dying or suffering data loss, RAID is not a backup, but a good RAID/ZFS setup spanned over enough disks can help you avoid using your backup.

If I build a 5 bay box with hot plug SATA drives, I could get 6 TB of useful storage (no point striping because a single modern SATA3 HD will push between 50% and >100% of gigabit Ethernet capacity depending on if it is doing sequential or random reads) mirrored with a “ready hot” spare in place….. I could start with just two disks, for 3 TB of useful storage and no hot spare, and add the other 3 disks later…

So we are looking at a copy of NAS4free, which is free, two disks which is 250 notes or thereabouts, and my “box”

The box itself doesn’t have to be much horsepower wise, in fact it shouldn’t be because we want low electrical power consumption, so an Atom based system will do nicely, another 100 or so, Icy Box do a nice 5 bay back plane IB-555SSK for another 100 or so, and add another 100 for a case and incidentals.

The basic bare box thus works out at about 300 quid, populate it with two disks and it takes you to 550, populate it with all 5 drives and it takes you to around 925.

The cheapest bare 5 bay NAS box I can find is the Qnap 569 @ £570

That’s (our 925)  a lot of dough, but, the closest to a 15 TB or greater commercial until (and the commercial units always count capacity by adding up individual disks) I can find is the WD sentinel @ £1,422, and the closest to a 5 bay or greater is the netgear 6620 @ £1,950.

Neither of the commercial offerings have the virtue of you just being able to go out to any PC hardware store and buy some generic replacement part WHEN something dies, plus the interface is open source.

Frankly the “value added” bundled software with all these commercial things, from the lowly goflex I just bought, up to the thecus / syntology / qnap kit, is a load of bollocks… it is not the fucking job of a NAS to stream your fucking itunes shite to your ipad via VPN  while you are sat on a beach somewhere..

It is the fucking job of a NAS to look after the hard disks inside it, and look after the data being read / written to those disks, one way of aiding this is a fucking dust filter and a couple of nice but silent 120 mm fans, which none of the commercial offerings will give you, but which you can do yourself.

Nor will any of the commercial offerings allow you to add another 5 drive bays for 100 quid, swap out the main-board for something more powerful, add some extra gig-e ports etc etc.

Nor will any of the commercial rigs do anything other than lock you in to that vendor.

Perhaps the biggest limitation of the commercial rigs is however that you have to buy them with one big wad of cash, but the home built solution can be purchased in 100 quid lumps over a few weeks or more.


Certainly the goflex has bought me some breathing space, and will allow me to tidy up some of the nested directories and file structures, preparatory to starting the next NAS build, and I won’t wake up tomorrow as I did today to find two overnight  “add to archive and delete” operations stalled out because of lack of spare disk space on the last added mini NAS..

If I think about upgrading my main PC, currently a core 2 quad q6600, for a nice socket 2011 / i7 3820 build, then I am already looking at everything except the Icy box 5 bay backplane and WD red disks, a saving of 200+ notes… again options that do not present themselves once you have tied yourself into proprietary devices…. it wouldn’t kill me to break open the goflex and pull out the 3 TB SATA HD inside, or to break open the 2 TB WD elements and pull out the 2 TB WD green SATA HD inside, they are essentially not much more than caddies…

March 8, 2013

Living in a virtualised world

I’ve been busy of late, hence the dearth of new posts..

My current gig is basically summed up thus, world + dog are chasing economies wherever they can find them (a good example is regional offices that years ago would have been on leased lines now being connected by xDSL) and so ACME corp’s 447 regional offices get new Cisco 887 adsl routers and all that, and the IT management can then be outsourced and offshored…. 447 expensive leased lines dropped, the in house 500 strong IT department sacked en masse, loadsa money saved, trebles all around at the bean-counters offices.

But some cunt has to turn up with the box and physically plug in the patch cables and so on, and when, not if, when that shit breaks, some cunt has to turn up and physically reset or repair the thing that cannot be fixed remotely…. even if that someone is just a remote pair of hands for a resellers resellers resellers reseller….

Don’t get me wrong, this shit is slick, but it is a basic engineering principle that the more layers of complexity you build up, the more there is to go wrong… which is why twice in the last week alone the NatWest Bank customers have seen all the ATM‘s simply stop working and no on-line banking either, and this is being repeated across the nation in all things IT.

Like the song says, Do your fucking job till the end

Till your job ends that is…. meanwhile back at the gig the crowd I work for are all gung ho, gangbusters and corporate image, which is fucking great while it lasts, which is by definition going to be a finite amount of time, we are hyenas feeding on corpses, for the moment it is a banquet…

I smile sweetly at them all, and friday rolls around and I think to myself that is another week’s money grabbed, wonder what next week will bring, because you see I am old enough and cynical enough to know that in this solyent green world, the crowd I work for can disappear with as little warning as the jobs of those we are replacing with little Cisco boxes (themselves now made in the Czech republic, oh the irony) went down the swannee…

They tell me about all the valuable skills and qualifications I can earn while working for them, and there is an element of truth in that, but I had valuable skills and qualifications in my previous trade of marine engineering, and they don’t put food on the table today, but my survivalist attitudes to life do, so what is more useful to me?

Never take a job you aren’t prepared to walk away from on a moment’s notice is a good motto, because already in this young and dynamic company I can see signs of the rot setting in, and the infection is spreading a lot faster than it did 20 years ago… I see this all over now, they will give some guy a £25k car to turn up at the customers premises in, because it looks good, but no 5 dollar uniform sweatshirt, just wear something of your own, and if you are given any tools they came from walmart, it is utter fucking madness…. exactly the same brand of utter fucking madness that created the jobs in do in the first place… by sacking all the IT staff and sticking in a remotely managed router and some switches.

Of course VOIP is all the rage, so when the cute little cabinet goes down the ACME corp regional office does not just disappear from the HQ WAN, all the fucking phone lines go down too… how many of these sites have all this shit running on a UPS, even a cheap and nasty will only keep it running for ten minutes SOHO job from APC or similar?

You got it, haven’t seen a single fucking one yet….

It is fucking dreadfully incompetent and amateurish, I don’t give a flying fuck how swish and fancy and cute all this remotely managed Cisco kit is, WHEN IT IS WORKING, I don’t care how impressive the tricks are that you can do, WHEN IT IS WORKING, I don’t care with what ease you can do quite complex tasks, WHEN IT IS WORKING, all I see is a system that studiously ignores the 9,000lb gorilla in the room, what the fuck do you do when it stops working, and their answer to that is to point at dudes like me…. whoooosh…

So anyway I’m chilling after a job yesterday with another of the field engineers, who is of a similar age to me, and we are discussing this, and the one thing my extensive experience has taught me…. and this is from the year dot of web servers on…

  1. The least likely person to bork such a box is the field engineer sat there physically in front of it, in true CYA mode he covers his ass at every step, when I am asked to type in console commands for a box that has lost connectivity to a remote IT management centre I read and spell everything back phoenetically, and then ask them, do you want me to press return now? No matter how simple the command.
  2. The MOST likely person to bork such a box is the remotely connected tech telnetting in or whatever, they don’t give a fuck, and this is before they get confused between the three other field techs they are talking to simultaneously to me.
  3. The MORE of a wizard the remote tech is, the WORSE they will bork the box…

All of which means that instead of us field guys being remote waldoes for the megamind remote admin guys, which is how all this shit is marketed by the bean-counters, we are just another point of failure, for exactly the same reasons that someone playing Call of Duty will have a different approach to a crunchie on the ground in Afdiggastan with actual bullets flying around…Networkfailure

Now these people, if you push them, will admit that there are things like the graphic above, a “cascade failure”, but these same cunts have never had to RECOVER from one, because the fact is they have never been in one, of if they have, they were but one node…

I can distinctly remember being in a large hydroelectric turbine hall when a (local) cascade failure hit, because one of the turbines was tripped out by a vibration sensor, which they think was caused by a log getting down into the vent, so one goes down, and it takes aaaaaages to spin down, but the SOUND is indescribably different when it is not under load, and then the next one went because it was overloaded thanks to the first one going down, and then then remaining three went almost together…. and everyone is stood there looking at each other and the hall lighting goes out, and emergency DC lighting flicks on and the turbines continue to spool down… it is the most eerie motherfucking experience… and it took on the onsite diesel gen set and four hours or work before they could start spooling up again, another two hours to get the first two turbines synced to the grid, and another four hours for the remaining three.

But they had ENGINEERS on site, not fucking remote wizards and the only thing on-site some field techs told on a phone press this button now, now press this one, now type this in, now move that cable from here to there, OK I’m in, you can go to the next job ta….

SLA’s, well SLA’s are fulfilled if the resellers reseller can get a warm body on site within 4 hours, that warm body doesn’t have to actually DO anything, or FIX anything, he is just there so the SLA penalties can’t be invoked.

What the people I am currently working for do not know, that I do, is this.


So what happens in extreme cases, well someone ships a new box down, and it gets swapped out and we see if that fixes the problem, the only thing rarer than a UPS is the proverbial “smoking gun” when responding to an error call, nobody know what went wrong or what the causes were, and nobody gives a fuck, this job has had a 2 hour slot allocated to it, and that’s all there is.

Various three letter government agencies are waffling on about the threat of cyber terrorism, and hackers are getting sent to gitmo for 999 years of waterboarding pre trial, but the fact is that the real terrorists are all the fucking beancounters putting these bastard systems in place in the first fucking place, it isn’t IF it falls over, it is WHEN it falls over.

Currently these failures ain’t that bad, wossname bank goes down for 6 hours, wossname ISP goes down for 8 hours, wossname supermarket goes down for 4 hours, but no measures are being put in place to improve on this, on the contrary…. the opposite is what is happening.

Currently, cascade failures in IT have been confined to so called fucked up countries where fucked up stuff like the so called arab spring uprisings were going on, and again shit was blamed of guvvmint shutting shit down, hasn’t YET happened to a western country on the scale of the seventies east coast USA power grid cascade failure, which was ultimately caused by ONE part dying…  hasn’t happened YET.

But it’s gonna, why else is everyone getting the pre – emptive bullshit excuses in place about digital pearl harbours.

And it is not just ACME corp and your local supermarket and your local mobile phone shop doing this shit, it is also your local Court of law, your local Police station, your local lawyers, your local bank, your local hospital, and the technology is spreading in all these places.

Sure, they may well have a diesel genny out back that can be fired up to keep the lights on, but what fucking use is that when packets carrying everything from data to voice suddenly find no routes outside the LAN?

Which reminds me, next week’s money I need to buy myself a new NAS box and a couple of WD Red 3tb disks… lol


January 28, 2013

The intersting thing about free will…

Is not that it isn’t free, but just how much of it is ruled by biochemistry.

I have wibbled on here before about Toxoplasma gondii, whichy makes cat piss smell interesting, and cat people, but there are better examples.

The guinea worm is one, you get it by drinking infected water, then it grows in the gut until it is as thick as a piece of spaghetti and 18 – 24 inches long, whereupon it burrows its way down through your limbs, and when it is ready to emerge and lay eggs and start the cycle again, it drives the host to water.

The point many people do not get, is these parasites are able to significantly influence the behaviour of the host organism, and it doesn’t really matter what the host organism is, human, oxen or goat, the same parasite is able to exude a biochemical trigger that has the exact same effect, not just across individuals, but across species.

Different parasites have different goals, and when you start to study it it is hard to come up with some aspect of human behaviour that cannot be either directly or indirectly influenced by the parasite

Which makes the whole concept of free will interesting, living in a modern technological society where were are effectively swimming in a biochemical soup all thanks to modern technology and mass produced products.

If a specific biochemical can trigger an interest in cat piss across species, and another specific biochemical can trigger an urge to go down to the pond or river and stand in the water, and so on and so forth, it isn’t really that much of a stretch to imagine a specific biochemical trigger that can make men more gay, or make wimminz more slutty.

In fact, it isn’t any kind of stretch at all, the contraceptive pill is nothing but a biochemical trigger, and I have been around this planet long enough and fucked enough wimminz to spot the marked differences in behaviour between a wimminz on estrogen, a wimminz on nowt and going through her cycles, a wimminz who is pregnant, etc etc etc.

Sure, it’s anecdotal, as is the observation that wimminz that drink over a litre of coke a day are all fucking cluster B and have a messy house, or the observation that wimminz who have had a lot of cock have a very high incidence of cervical cancer, or the observation that wimminz with blue cars don’t have steady boyfriends…

… but just because it is anecdotal doesn’t mean it is shit… red sky at night, sailor’s delight…

… which all reminded me of a crazy bitch I fucked years ago, she was every bit as crazy as the crazy I fucked last week, the word many will use is delusional… and she used to spout about the Nazi’s and BASF and Bayer and mind control through chemicals and all that good jazz.

To me she was just a crazy bitch and a good fuck, but about a year later I was talking to another guy who had porked her for a bit, can’t even remember his name, but he had a then brand new Yam XJ650, and during the conversation I found out he was a research biochemist, imagine my surprise when he tells me that in between fucking her they were talking and his job came up and next thing he knows she is hitting him with a whole load of (then) cutting edge biochemistry, and it was soon apparent to him that she was much better trained at his job than he was, she was in his own words world class and could write her own ticket anywhere on the planet, if she wasn’t so crazy…

But her “crazy” was insisting that all these big companies were collecting data on how various compounds could influence human behaviour, 30 years later she doesn’t sound so fucking crazy to me…

Now, I don’t pretend to know all the answers, or even a few of them, but I do find these to be interesting questions, and while I am the first to admit that correlation =! causation, there sure are a shit lot of parallels since around 1960 onwards to the changing environment in which we immerse ourselves, biochemically, and the way attitudes and society has changed.

The fact that we HAVE been performing this great biochemical experiment upon ourselves is not in doubt, where I would differ from the 1980 crazy is in suggesting that it is all deliberate and planned… if there is data gathering it is no wonder after things like Thalidomide, which could well have affected me if my mother took it during pregnancy, for I was of that era… nobody wants a lawsuit.

I share a lot of genetic material with one set of cousins, unlike them we always eat fresh food and veg, where they always eat frozen, the aunt in question was well known for having two chest freezers full of food and never any fresh foods in the house, “Mrs Bird’s Eye” she was called… so it is definitely a correlation that the cousins in question are all in poor health compared to me, despite the fact that I am older than all of them, but is it a causation… good question… I wish I knew the answer.

But it isn’t just health, there are broad and obvious behavioural differences between us too, as as far as nurture vs nature, well, one of their parents and one of my parents grew up together as siblings, so they came with common values and standards and history…

And when it comes to progeny, their kids bear almost no resemblance to them when they were little kids themselves, but mine are always seen as being “mini-me”.

Could this all be down to growing up eating processed frozen foods wrapped in plastics? Of course it could…but how to prove it, and even if you could what would be the point, you can’t go back in time and reverse it.

To this day, if I get the munchies I grab a piece of fruit or maybe a jam sandwich, biscuits and chocolate and crisps and pot noodles and suchlike are things I literally may eat once a year.

But then, in reality I am not a control specimen, I am just choosing to immerse myself in a different end of the biochemical pool that we all live in now, it’s not a deep or containing as many complex compounds, but it certainly isn’t 1950 style either…. maybe that by itself is sufficient to explain why my attitudes are perceived as being old fashioned.



January 24, 2013

Sitting on a rock with Otis

So it’s nearly 4pm, I am not yet dressed, sat here warming myself in front of a fire basically doing sweet fuck all.

Keep getting thoughts, I should be doing something, not vegging out here.2982741-lizard-on-a-rock-at-the-washington-dc-zoo

But then again..

…pauses while I make myself another coffee, scratch my balls and roll a smoke…

… I’ve lived long enough to know that sitting on a rock and not being the early bird is a valid survival tactic.

Particularly now.

See, one quite valid way of looking at human beings is their average personal daily energy expenditure…  12 MJ per day will keep the average human being alive and active.

12 MJ per day is about 3.3 kWh per day.

Now while a lot of shit is talked about how hard we had to work in olden days just to get enough to eat, the fact is, some pursuits that we did in the olden days really have changed.

At current UK energy prices, and as discussed elsewhere it doesn’t make a huge amount of difference how you buy your energy, mains electric at 15 pence per kWh, or 1.40 per litre for diesel (35 MJ per litre, or 10 kWh, so £1.40 / 10 = 14p) your are paying roughly the same for your kWh, roughly rule of thumb 15 pence per kWh.

My mobe has a 2 Wh battery, which lasts 48 hours, so the energy consumption is negligible, but the contract (unlimted calls texts and data) is a pound a day, at at 15p per kWh that means 6 kWh per day, that is double my physical requirements, but it is a tool, a tool that I use to bring in money, and therefore kWh.

So I am sitting on my rock last night and a chick I haven’t spoken to for 10 days or so sends me a text, hello, jane53 is back on the radar.

As a whole, as the proportion of my daily 6 kWh the mobe + contract consumes, this SMS is again a negligible amount, and this brings me to the real point of the sitting on the rock or the bay with Otis like a lizard, waiting for the sun to warm me, and waiting for my food to wander by, thing comes to.

I’m sitting on a rock waiting for the poontang.

I’m burning less energy getting poon than any human being in human history, not just per cunt or per fuck, but overall….

… pauses while I take a leisurely dump and piss…

… and this is, I feel, enormously significant from a natural world perspective.

Nature is endlessly adaptable, no niche is left unexploited, and so when presented with a way to lower the energy cost of reproduction, nature takes advantage of it, and so we have people like me, red pillers and technocrats both, who embrace the opportunities provided, even if physical reproduction does not issue from the copulation.

I think, as a species, we have missed seeing the 9 million pound gorilla in the room.

I have said it once and a million times, nobody could have foreseen or been prepared for the ways in which electronics and computing impacted and changed the ways in which we as human beings deal with currencies and accounting, indeed if you take computers and the net away from currencies and accounting, our banking systems must revert to the way they were in 1970.

The contraceptive pill and feminazi policies changes society beyond recognition, and again if we were to take away contraception, abortion and IVF etc etc and some basic feminazi social policies then society would have to revert to 1950.

The same is true of the whole internet dating thing, the immediacy, anonymity and above all minuscule energy cost required to use PoF or a swinging site has changed the way we go about getting sex.

As a poster in another forum said, “You can’t put the shit back in the horse.”

You can’t go back to the old ways of getting sex unless you eradicate the modern IT world, and make the energy expended per hook up go through the roof, back to what it was in 1960.

Speaking as a scientific man, I do not think ANYONE appreciates the consequences of this.

Lets round down my age to 50, and lets say I started fucking at 20, that gives me 30 years of fucking.  30 x 365 = 10,950 days… not a very big number… the last 12 years since the internet really started to take off is 12 x 365 = 4,380, and the last 4 years since powerful and capable internet connected smart-phones really started to take off is 4 x 365 = 1,460

Now let’s take a 50 mile radius of where I am, there are around a million females who will potentially fuck me… 30 years ago I had to choose between what was available in the bar I was in at that time, today I can have a smart-phone in my pocket and “signal” my availability via some hookup app / site, and take advantage of that far greater catchment area.

30 years ago if you were fucking a different wimminz every week you were either a rich playboy, a fucking liar, or someone who lived in a holiday destination where millions of white chicks flew in and out every day on package holidays.

Today if you are fucking a different wimminz every week you are just some guy with a smart-phone in your pocket, and the geographic catchment area of poon is much much smaller than the 80’s playboy or vacation island guy was porking.

Again, nature abhors a vacuum, so we are in a whole new ball game as far as sexually transmitted infections go, and I am NOT just talking a dose of the clap, I’m talking everything from insemination through bird flu through per-cancerous virii through you name it.

Yes, the wimminz now have a choice greater than the three eligible guys in their village, but so do men, and the energy cost / expenditure has dropped through the floor.

I have seen and done it fucking all sexually, the yank musclecar, the harley, the twin V8 powerboat, the yacht, the flash apartment, the high income, every peacocking fucking thing going, and I am here to tell you that you can put ALL that shit in one pile, along with the pill and rubbers and viagra and porn, and it doesn’t amount to a hill of beans next to the internet + smartphone, which is an Olympus Mons, the greatest sex aid ever invented.

But it keeps coming back to that energy expenditure in kWh per poon… which at no time in human history has ever been within several orders of magnitude of being this low, which is currently so low that it is hovering around the point where I might actually expend more energy actually physically fucking a wimminz, than I do it getting to that point.

You can’t change that cost back up to what it was without wiping out smart-phones & the net, back to the stone age baby.

And you can’t go back to the dynamic that existed throughout the entire history of the human race when it comes to relations between the sexes, unless you can change that energy expenditure per poon back to what it was.

This is profound in ways that are hard to express.

Marriage 1.0? Forget it..

Just today a married woman who has been cheating behind her husband’s back messaged me asking if I want to fuck her, or fuck her in a threesome with another guy, or fuck her in a threesome with a girl of my choice.

Marriage 1.0 along with Family 1.0 and Wife 1.0 and Girlfriend 1.0 and Sex 1.0 are all as dead as the dinosaur.

Repeal every feminazi law on the planet and it won’t change a damn thing, as long as the energy cost of meeting and fucking is now down on a par with the energy expended in the act itself.

The MRM is not merely dead, it is as irrelevant as tits on a bull… but the good news is so is the pwincesses’ vagina on a pedestal…  nobody is going to crawl over 200 free cunts to get to one self entitled one.


Jane53 knows this, instinctively, as many wimminz do;

  • The energy expenditure for me to find her is effectively zero.
  • She is just one bean on a plate of beans, she can blow me out after one fuck and the energy expenditure for me to substitute her is effectively zero.
  • So the only game left in town is a net expenditure of energy on her part to keep me there, and to entice me back.

I’m the same age as Jane53’s dad… and I have had wimminz before who will feed and water me and all that good shit as well as drain my balls… but Jane53 was a first…

Jane53 wasn’t a first because she has an unusually male and practical brain for a wimminz, or any of the other stuff, she is a first because she said to me in her own words, with regard to me not having heard from her for nearly two weeks;

… I fucked up, I made an assumption about you that was wrong, I don’t mind you fucking other wimminz, I’d just like you to not rub my nose in it…

… I know the worst thing I can do to you is lie to you, I know I will get caught out sooner or later, and so I want you to know that in the last ten days I haven’t been with anyone else, I haven’t been with anyone since you..

There was more to it than that, again stuff I have heard before, but never in all my born days have I heard a woman say to me I know I will get caught out in any lies I tell, and I know you aren’t going to believe me because you are going to wait and see if I say or do something that indicates that what I am saying now might be a lie, but I ain’t been anywhere near a man since you, and I want you to come a take me and fuck me and use me…

And I expended sweet fuck all energy to get that, which makes it all the sweeter… lrfh

Now, ‘scuse me while I roll over and sun my other side.


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