Wimminz – celebrating skank ho's everywhere

November 10, 2013

WIFE = Washing, Ironing, Fucking, etc

I have said to many people, and many wimminz, that a relationship is very, very, very much like a job.

There is an interview process, there is a trial period, and then there is the employment period, with benefits, but at no time can you just decide to goof off and get a free ride without getting your ass canned.

But the fact is that it cuts both ways, wimminz aren’t just shit at relationshits, they are shit as employees too…. but sadly, so are many men…

Today for my sins I took my car in for some new tyres, for one reason and another to do with leasing you have to go to certain suppliers for certain things, and you aren’t allowed to do anything yourself, not even change a blown bulb, but the flipside is “just do it” no matter what and no worries about the munnay…

So, a small tyres / brakes / service place, you could get 4 vehicles inside, and 5 employees, all guys, and frankly they were a shower of shit, wandering around, sat there chatting to each other (and I don’t mean chatting while working, I mean sat there with a pneumatic wrench in hand talking to another guy sat on one of my wheels) working at a speed like they have never done this before….. my car, 4 new tyres, another car, up on ramp, new track rod and bushes, third car, brake test and service….  I was there a fucking hour and a quarter.

Cunts *deserve* to go bust, and I know why the leasing company just moved over to this chain, they are fucking “cheap”, not cheap as in cheap, but cheap as in cheaper than the other fuckers that used to have the contract.

I’m sure a large part of that “cheap” is because the staff are all on sweet fuck all money per hour, but even so, you can do the job the way I do mine, get stuck in and do it properly and look like a professional, and then sit back and chill once the customer has pulled out…

Me, I’m a captive customer, I got no choice but to go there, but others…. while I am there cooling my heels (hey, fuck it, I’m on the clock so it’s not like it’s *my* time they are wasting) guy comes in and asks how much to do a clutch on his 6 year old Citroen

Oooh, sucks teeth, looks at book, book says 5 hours @ 50 quid an hour, checks clutch price, ok sir that will be 370 notes, eg 120 for the clutch kit, that ain’t including the tax of course, which is 20% on top of that… so they want to charge this cunt 370 + 74 = 444 quid to do a fucking clutch…  OK, it’s a Citroen and OK it is front wheel drive, but even so…. if you are a local municipal bus driver and do all the overtime available you can pull in 18k gross, 18,000 / 52 = 346, that’s before tax, so even if you are married and get mortgage relief and shit your take-home is going to be under 300, so these fuckers want 1.5 weeks take home for 5 hours work…

Check GSF car parts and the clutch kit is 64 notes…. RETAIL… not trade..

As for the 5 hours on the ramp in an equipped garage with 5 employees, I know a guy who did his on his fucking driveway by himself in 5 hours with nothing more than hand tools, a trolley jack and a couple of axle stands… and that included making a clutch centre tool out of some copper pipe…

These are the same cunts that took (30 minutes was phone calls and paperwork and authorisation) 45 minutes to swap out 4 tyres… with TWO of the cunts on the job, so 1.5 hours labour right there… ok, “free fitting” so the labour wasn’t technically charged, but 1.5 man hours were used and they were actually working faster than the cunt doing the track rod, because I was watching them…..

When I turned up the track rod car was up on the ramp with the wheel off, when I left it was still there, and they guy was still fucking around and talking and wandering away and back and hadn’t *quite* managed to drop the old bushes and track rod… I suspect that was his job for the entire day.

The main dealers who do all the rest of the work, well, they are fucking expensive, but at least they don’t fuck around and get on with shit, but again the spend a *lot*of time on bullshit CYA “quality control” everything countersigned off bullshit, or basically “hunting for work” e.g. going over the fucking bodywork with a UV lamp looking for paint and body defects… (a UV lamp will show shit you just won’t see with the naked eye in the average English weather day…) with the result that a service will set you back just under 300 notes…

Back when I was a lad, a “full service” was a full man-day on the car, it wasn’t just fluids and filters and a brake check, two guys would spend all morning or all afternoon going over the bitch and doing maintenance and touch up work.

When they finished you’d get billed for the bigger shit, like brake friction material, but nobody itemised shit like grease used greasing the doors or track rod ends, that was just consumables shit…. the tyre bill included itemised amounts for valves and balancing… which went on top of the tyre price…

Labour is “free” but the mechanic took a dump and had a cuppa so one teabag and 12 squares of toilet paper are itemised and added to the bill….  and the QA guy has to sign to say the mechanic wiped his ass properly and slurped his tea according to procedure.

Meanwhile they have to make a call to Mumbai and spend 20 minutes in a queue to get authorisation to issue the mechanic 3 ply bog roll and not the cheap 2 ply stuff that the leasing company specified in their 6,497 page procedure manual which you have to adhere to in order to be a “channel partner” or whatever this week’s buzzword is.

Wimminz of course *love* this shit, because no matter what you can just shrug your shoulders and say how awful it is, but it ain’t my fault y’see…..  and get back to the gossip… no ACTUAL FUCKING WORK being done.

In the same town there are a couple of old boys who run their own tyre place… I could have been in and out of there in 20 minutes, literally…. which is why with my own vehicle I patronise places like them, and my “pet” mechanic, who would have passed on the citroen clutch kit at cost and “call it 200 quid” for labour, and you can give me half now and half next week if you like, and he would have lined that fucking clutch up to better than a thou, and cleaned and dressed up ALL the threads and fasteners, and everything else, while he was in there….. every time I took a French front wheel drive car to him I always told him to fit a heavy duty clutch, parts were only 30% more but it would be the last one you ever fitted…

It’s the fucking work ethic, that’s what I am on about here, that is what we are missing.

I’m a procrastinating mother-fucker, but when I eventually get around to doing a job for myself, I do it fucking properly…. today I was on my hands and knees washing my fucking fake laminate kitchen flooring by hand, then I did the inside of the fridge and shelves, then I washed down the tops of all the skirting boards, wiped the tops of the internal doors and lintels, then I did the front door inside and out, and the window sills etc outside, and I don’t know ANY fucking wimminz who will do that.

Not even when moving out and wanting to keep the fucking deposit…

And no, I am not some OCD cleanliness freak mofo, I’ll only do this shit once every two or three months, but it WILL get done now and again.

The joke about WIFE = washing, ironing, fucking, etc… well, good luck to you with a modern wimminz…

Washing is something they will do under protest, once YOU have bought them a fucking washing machine and tumble dryer, and don’t get me started on that shit about men don’t know how to use a washing machine, in my lifetime I never met a man who had any issues with them, on the other hand every wimminz I ever met uses one of two programs, either mixed coloureds at 40 degrees for everything, or delicates for her own personal expensive clothes, that’s it.

Ironing, you must be fucking kidding, wimminz know better than men you take something out of the tuble dryer still warm and you can put it away without ironing it… I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of wimminz I know who know how to iron a shirt and a pair of pants, some of the rest of them can iron a hanky…. just about.

Fucking, well, no need to go into this… she’ll fuck anything except hubby

Etc, like make me a sammich bitch, rub my shoulders, feed me, make the fucking bed in the morning when you get up, you must be kidding me…

Basically if you want to know what it is like to live with a modern wife, just move into some student digs, take the door off *your* room so *you* have no privacy, and put them all as named persons on your bank account and plastic…. and stay there for life* and keep paying for life… (*even after they evict your sorry ass.)

Actually, it won’t be *that* good, at least students get to get shit-faced and laid now and again…

So there I am visiting one such unfortunate, and we are trying to have a conversation at the kitchen table, because the kids have taken over the lounge and telly and everything else he paid for, meanwhile the “wife” is complaining the Tassimo machine isn’t as good as her friends new AEG (which uses the same *fucking* expensive per cup pods) and then their little 4 year old daughter wanders in, sits on a vacant chair next to us, lifts her dress, spreads her legs, spreads her cunt with her fingers and starts exploring…. to which the wife says “leave your bottom alone darling

I laugh loudly and say to my mate/the father, “that ain’t her fucking bottom…” he just looks pained, one of those I know dude, but what the fuck can I do, looks…

To which the wife (who basically doesn’t like me, she has many reasons, some of them my be true, but mainly I suspect hubby just ain’t allowed visitors in prison) starts telling me off for swearing in front of children.

I look at her and say “You have a 4 year old daughter flashing her cunt to guys in the kitchen and you are concerned about the language one of the guys are using… that is an interesting set of priorities you have there.

I’m waiting for the “how dare you tell me how to raise my kids” tirade, I’m up for that one (some cunt needs to) but it doesn’t come, instead she decides that hubby needs to take some generic groceries to *her* mum and dad’s place, RIGHT FUCKING NOW, because without the milk and sugar in the package she is making up they will die, pronto….

I say “whatever dude, I’m out of here so I shall leave you to your weekend of domestic bliss….. cya

Every time I visit there, which ain’t that often, I have the same thought, I wonder what she would do if I wait till hubby is out the room and grab some tit and ass, not because she is hot, just to see what she would do, I suspect that is partly why she hates me, because she wouldn’t object and yet I don’t do it… but that thought always triggers the follow on thought, if he isn’t fucking her enough, why should I do his job for him.

See, he is a sometime co-worker, and when we are on site together I refuse ro do his work for him, but, I also make sure there is clear and documented demarcation between what he touches, and what I touch, because his work is frankly crap.

It’s a chicken / egg question as to whether his work is crap because he always has so much domestic shit on his mind, or because he has no work ethic he cannot manage his work or private life effectively.

I got no skin in that game, so I don’t care, I just keep certain boundaries enforced, while trying to be a bit of a mate, because despite it all he is basically a nice guy with little or no malice in him, who always *tries* to do the right thing.

The big difference between me and him, that moment with his (? lol) daughter playing with her “bottom”, he didn’t see what I saw, which was a slow burning fuse leading to an ammo dump hidden in the basement…. and a “wife” playing with a zippo ensuring that pretty little Barbie fuse sparkler stayed alight.


October 8, 2013

Stuck in the RAM

I have had jobs where sites stop being able to connect to the mother-ship, usually these are sites using an xDSL modem to log into the mother-ship, and login is of course by the trusty Radius server.

The problem isn’t that the cheapo xDSL modem is dead, though that is always the second thing investigated, or the cheapo xDSL line is dead, though that is always the first thing investigated, the problem is the Radius server just stopped working, and you can “fix” it by making a change that simply should not make any difference, changing the Radius password on the Radius server and xDSL modem / router.

I’ve had this on Cisco kit too, you need to TFTP a patch across so configure terminal and then give it an IP address, give your laptop and IP address and as a final sanity check before starting the TFTP you attempt to ping each box from the other, and it doesn’t work, and you can repeat the process ten times, and it won’t work, but if you reboot the Cisco box it will work first time.

Neither of these problems should exist, within the framework of “things as they should be” or rather “things as they are taught”.. for example it is heresy to suggest rebooting the Radius server, so it is discounted as a source of problems when a client site cannot log into a mother-ship, and for example it is heresy to suggest that any console / command line output from Cisco IOS is less than 100% truthful, and yet, if either of these statements were true, the fixes I used would not work.

When asked what the problem was, I say something “Was stuck in the RAM“, which is of course meaningless *and* inaccurate, but it is an explanation of sorts, and it is *far* closer to the truth than the official answers.

I’m not a coder, but I suspect the truth could be found somewhere in the realms of buffer overflows and bounds checking.

However, nobody calls a senior coder in when a remote office fails to connect to the mother-ship, (which one way or another is what 99% of my day job is about, making two sites connect to each other) so as a result you get anything *but* the truth.

As an aside, before I continue, if you are thinking that these are only problems encountered because I am working with cheap ass kit on cheap ass contracts for cheap ass clients, you would be as mistaken as you can possibly be… I absolutely guarantee that even if you have never set foot in the UK you will know 50% of the end users by brand name and reputation alone, even if they do not have a presence local to you.

Most of the kit is relatively speaking not very much money, anything from 500 to 5,000 bucks a box, and that is not a lot of money for a site that is turning over a million a week or an engineer that costs the end user 250 bucks before I even leave MY home, much less turn up on site… the kits itself is very mediocre quality, hardware wise, and that is me speaking as an engineer. Trust me on this.

Cisco kit sells because it all runs IOS, and finding people with Cisco qualifications who can write / edit / troubleshoot the config files, which are the files that tell the IOS what to do, is about as hard as finding a web designer, worst case scenario is there are several tens of thousands available for not very much about 90 milliseconds away in Mumbai.

This, by the way, is the SOLE reason everyone loves the cloud and virtual machines, virtual machines don’t have ANY hardware, so you NEVER need a field engineer to turn up and move a patch cable, power cycle to unstick the RAM, do an actual install or upgrade, or anything else…

So, back to the plot…

It’s down to ETHOS, car brakes were basically designed so the default state was that they were off, truck brakes were designed so the default state was they were on (and it took air pressure to keep them off).. so you pressurise a car system to make it stop, and you leak pressure out of a truck system to make it stop.

Ask yourself two questions;

  1. Which is safest.
  2. Which is cheapest to make.

Suddenly everything becomes clear.

Unless you are the bit of NASA writing the actual code that directly controls the spacecraft flight hardware, or the bit of GE writing the actual code that directly controls the control rods in the nuke pile, or… and I cannot think of a third fucking example…..  then option 2 always gets a look in.

Most of the time the bottom line is the bottom line.

“Good enough” (mostly)

By definition you are excluding the “one in a million” event from your calculations.

Which is great, *until* that event comes along… luckily for humanity in the sphere of my job until I fix it that means someone didn’t get their wages, someone didn’t get their stock in trade to sell, someone didn’t get a product or service that they were going to re-sell to someone else.

It can all be very serious and even life changing to the individuals concerned, but, the small print can cover that shit, nobody got killed…. fuck em…

We have had quite a few “cascade failures” in teh intertubez, they aren’t yet as serious as the power grid blackouts we have had, but then again the power grid is everywhere and literally in everything, and the net is still a relative newbie, chromebooks running exclusively on data living on a virtual machine in the cloud somewhere and 100% of fast net connectivity even to boot up into anything useful are still rare.

But the times, as Dylan said, they are a changin’

I am seeing, as a result of these changes, where the 1st, 2nd and 3rd level responses to problems simply do not work, because the RAM that is stuck is not in the local machine, it is in a central machine that MUST NOT be rebooted, or worse still, in a cloud virtual machine.

At that point the on the spot field engineer (me) can no longer just ring the remote server engineer, compare notes, agree on a likely cause and course of action, and resolve the problem.

I saw this happen, in the flesh, before my own eyes, for the first time, personally, yesterday, NetApp, unfortunately there were so many levels of virtuality that the server guy couldn’t diagnose which layer or virtual RAM was stuck, or where, and there was no possibility of simply rebooting as that would take the entire enterprise down and trash that whole day’s production, which was already sold and due to be in the shops tomorrow, or changing chap/tacacs/radius logins and resetting the problem that way… no worries, a whole new virtual machine was created, problem ignored.

Fuck it, I still get paid either way.

Asking people like me about my opinion on such things, well, that would be like asking a doctor about disease, fuck that, ask the pharma marketing machine, they have their eye on the bottom line.

August 30, 2013

Accoms wanted

Mate of mine, in reference to stuff I have said about wimminz and the worsening economy, said go check out the accoms wanted section of gumtree in your area.

why? I asked him, just do it bro, he says, so I do, while he watches, grinning.

Damn, 85% of the adverts are wimminz looking for cheap / small / rooms / studio places to stay, and 85% of these wimminz are young wimminz, early to mid twenties. What’s more, they apparently have no womb turds to complicate matters, or to get them free social housing, depending on how you look at things.

It would appear that being born with a cunt as a form of career might well be losing its executive status….

As he says to me about the wimminz upstairs who moved a new guy in within 5 days of the old guy getting carted off in handcuffs by da po-lice, you don’t really expect the bitch to (be able to) pay the fucking rent by herself do ya?

It reminded me of a case I know of personally where an FRA was made, and the wimminz in question also asked the judge to kick the guy out of the house they both rented together, claiming he was a deadbeat anyway and she paid all the bills. She also attached a list of all the furnishings that she claimed were hers, even though she had bought none of them.

So the guy said fine, knowing what was coming, before the judge could actually make the order, he called his bro and spent 24 hours moving out and his shit, giant tv, motorcycle engines, welder, that sort of shit, and called the local house clearance people to take everything else in exchange for him paying them the equivalent of 100 bucks or so, then spent the remaining time blitzing the place clean top to bottom so it was in identical condition to when he moved in, took pictures of everything, including the two cardboard boxes of her clothes, and the one piece of furniture she had actually bought, a sideboard.

Hands the key back to the landlord and walks away.

He hears back from the landlord three months later that the bitch moved in, then six weeks later gave her notice in, seems she couldn’t afford to run the place herself, which is strange, because she should have been BETTER off, what without his dead beat ass to support.

That’s the thing about “independent” wimminz, if they really are independent and living off their own wages, they never have a pot to piss in, and at best live in a room in a shared house, but “friends” it ain’t.

If they have a pot to piss in, then they are never independent, some way or another it is always big daddy state contributing heavily… or some dead beat guy whose resources they are living off, while telling the world & dog that they are actually supporting him.

Of course wimminz always were suckers for status.

You could give a guy a job title of “shit shoveller”, pay him 30k a year and he would be quite happy.

You can give a wimminz a job title of “manager”, pay her 15k a year and she is quite happy.

In my day job I walk into retail outlets run by wimminz and niggerz “managers” on this kind of money, 16k a year, they work antisocial split shift hours in retail, and they act all happy when regional management get on the blower and set them a “challenge” to defrost 3 freezers a night when the shop is shut.

I don’t have the heart to tell them that the one hour I am spending in their office reading something on my Galaxy Note 10.1 while on hold to Mumbai waiting for the green light to move the patch cable from port 5 on the switch to port 17 is the only work I will be doing that day, and I’m on more money than them… and I get other benefits.. and a free car and fuel… and expenses so my lunch is paid…

Speaking of which it is basically September now, and management have sent me an email reminding me that I *still* have 19 days of (paid) holiday to use up before the year’s end, which is basically a month off.

I do so wish I was something important like a “manager” and not some lowly “oh, you’re the internet guy”…

It is such a trial having money in the bank, and no-one to spend it on except myself, and all bills paid in full the instant they land.

It was so awful that last month the skank ho I was banging regular-ish was a bit short at the end of the month, well, she was driving herself over to my place every week which was 100 miles each way, so I bung her a fifty saying here you go, pay me back when you can, and she made huge protestations of paying me back cos she don’t take charidee.. no siree… before sticking her tongue up my ass in gratitude.

So when it came time to kick the bitch to the kerb and she made noise about paying me back someday at 5 cents a week I could just be all cool and say hey, no worries bitch, keep the fifty, nobody can say I don’t pay my ho’s…

it was one of those “priceless” meme moments

That shit made me smile for a whole week.

April 5, 2013

Just a quickie

I have posted before about my latest (work) gig, putting all these remotely managed cisco boxes in businesses so that they, and the people who sell them their interwebz connection, can all sack in house IT staff and save money.

Yesterday I again had the pleasure of dealing with one of these jobs, and for those of you who ask what could possibly go wrong…

The business methodology is based on three principles;

  1. The actual keyboard / coding tech work is outsourced to Mumbai, we may be dialling local numbers but IP telephony and call forwarding means the guy you speak to is half a world away.
  2. The actual onsite work is done by people like me, cos remote guys cannot physically touch kit or alter it.
  3. The sales and management, you know, the core revenue generating business, is still done here in the UK.

Invariably there is a direct link between how well the Indian national half a world away has been able to absorb the English language and culture, and how well they have been able to absorb the coding language and culture of the box in question, whether it be Cisco, Juniper etc.

Invariably the ones with very heavy accented English that is quite difficult to understand, and it is difficult to understand when you have to ask them to repeat words like “cable” and “switch” etc, are the lowest paid, most script following, and the ones invariably assigned unless it escalates, or the UK company was enlightened enough to not go for the absolute lowest bidder.

Invariably these non native English speakers make just a big a fuckup of work orders as I would if I was trying to tell a Russian coder to go to Acme supermarket in Stolichnaya street zip code 90201, meaning the zip code is often right, but there is no supermarket there when you get there, but there is a home furnishings shop with a completely different name.

So you as the man on the spot eventually resolve this issue, find out the job is in the furnishings shop and sweet fuck all to do with ACME supermarkets, so what are the chances that the OS and configuration you have been given for the replacement router is either correct, or fully functional?

You guessed it, so you sit there for three hours with Mumbai using a remote session via your laptop to try to make the router work, and every 60 seconds they go back to their script and ask if you are sure you have connected the fucking patch leads back in from the old one…

Eventually, the job is done and lo and behold the customers computers can get back on the interwebz, and more importantly to them their chip and pin / till machines can connect to the banks so they can actually make sales via plastic the fast way….

This has only taken a three hour return trip either way for your trusty engineer, three hours onsite, and a three hour return trip either way for the courier delivering the new kit, and a couple of hours of back office staff updating web portal software so job progress can be tracked and your trusty engineer can know he is to go to ACME supermarket H^H^H^H^ Cushy Home Furnishings to swap out a router…. but just think of the money saved by getting some poor fucker in Mumbai to play with the config until the fucking thing actually works… as opposed to, you know, having a fucking working config on file for each customer and each site…


I see this shit every day, stuff that would literally terminate my business when I wear my self employed hat, and yet this is not just how big business works every day, this is how best of breed big business works every day, with outsourcing world and dog beating a path the the guys who employ me in my day job, which means loadsa work for me.

Any job that has (at least) three different sets of people in three different companies in three different geographical locations is going to be a total fuck up, because the only thing any one of them gives a fuck about is getting their own boxes ticked and their own asses covered.

Course I am an old hand at this shit, and spend maybe 25% of my time on site documenting everything and also photographing everything, so when it comes back down the grapevine that the last guy out the door broke stuff and he was only here for a minute anyway, and that last guy happens to be me, it takes me all of ten minutes to send times and dated and geolocated pictures, pics / scans of forms showing time on site and off site complete with names and signatures of people on site, and so on and so forth, but then I didn’t come down with the rain last week.

I am also an old hand in the sense the any long service guy sat in a trench will relate to, I am a waldo, cos the guy in Mumbai cannot physically do anything on site, the pay is not enough to go over the top and start taking lead, but the (same) pay is pretty good if you have managed to swing a REMF job which doesn’t really involve much of anything, driver for the colonels flunky… so the whole thing washes over me…

I don’t sit there and curse my cheap tools and underspecced and overloaded with bloatware company laptop, I take the GI attitude, if they wanted me to have it they would issue it, and if they don’t issue it they don’t want me to have it, and life is good if you chill and avoid being the bitching squeaky wheel…


Which brings me to Cyprus and the economy.

I’m the guy who turns up when the business loses net connectivity, and trust me, we do ALL the high street names and blue chip companies, so I see what happens when their net goes dark.

  1. Suddenly all the staff start running around like blue assed flies.
  2. Suddenly production / output is maybe 50% of what it was when the net was alive and the staff were all cruising.

_I_ personally am as disposable as a used tampon, but my role, well, when my role goes we are back in the stone age technologically.

When 1 and 2 above happen, even fucked up mismanaged too many cooks outsourced shit like the above looks like a good deal / saviour to the company in question.

When 1 and 2 above happen, NOBODY, but NOBODY, has a Plan B, the entire business model rests upon getting Plan A back up and running.

“Back up and running” does not mean what it means when I do work with my self employed hat on, that fucker is FIXED, it means connectivity to fuckbook / intranet / whatever is restored so I can get my piece of paper signed and leave the site, until it goes wrong again, which is just a question of time….

I have computer kit, routers and servers and firewalls, that are over a decade old, and which still work FUCKING FLAWLESSLY, so it is not the case that we cannot make shit that just works….  there is just no PROFIT anymore in making shit that just works.

And so we have local branches of businesses that have six full time employees and turn over considerable sums of money, all hanging on a single DOMESTIC grade ADSL connection, no backup, no failover, no Plan B, and frankly the very expensive and high end Cisco kit that is supposed to make it all work is no more reliable than some 50 quid Netgear crap, which they guys in the shop could buy locally ex stock, navigate to in their browser, type in ADMIN and ADMIN, and enter their ADSL username and password and be back up and on-line before I can even complete my three hour journey to get there… at least that would be an HONEST “crap but cheap” solution.

I shouldn’t complain, and I am not, if any of these people were remotely competent to run a business, I would be out of a job….. the purpose of this is to highlight the fact that in the pursuit of fucking everyone else over to nickel and dime everything to death, we have created a business infrastructure that cannot actually even keep itself going by itself.

If you think the above example, by the way, was a “bad one”, you are sadly mistaken.. at least these guys had the old PSTN phones so they could ring up another branch to get the web price of a mattress, or to manually authorise a credit card payment.

I have been to sites where, in a bid to save money, all the phone lines but one are VOIP, so when the system goes dark it ALL goes dark… the plan is I go there and using the wonders of a laptop tethered to 3/4G networks, the reseller can remote in and fix things up, except there is no mobile signal in the faraday cage that is the comms/server room, oh, the one single emergency PSTN phone line, blocked by the provider from local rate 0845 numbers, which just happens to be the ONLY support number for the reseller, in the laborious fallback strategy of they tell me what to type by voice, I type it and tell them what just happened… so even that doesn’t fucking work.

Looks like I am going to be employed for quite some time yet…lol

December 16, 2011

Outsourced, offshored and exported.

English: IBM Kolkata

I’m walking around this campus of buildings, Fortune 50 company, it used to be bustling, now it is mainly empty, barring the daily rate consultants consulting with the Mumbai types about the remaining positions to be off shored, eg, the remaining positions that haven’t been, 2,200 gone in the past 4 years, only the last 350 on campus to go…. every fucker walks around like some drab ass retirement home for old farts with incontinence and no relatives and no money.

The only fuckers who smile and talk like human beings are the cleaners and security, and both of these are a special breed apart.

Me? It doesn’t matter what I seem to wear lately, suit and tie, jeans and a working shirt, or leathers and originals, I always feel like the outsider in some cheap spaghetti western, the guy who doesn’t fit in anywhere and who doesn’t give a fuck that he doesn’t fit in anywhere, or about the fact that 95% of the townsfolk don’t know how to handle the stranger and are scared / upset / unnerved / uncomfortable in his presence.

IBM was and is a past master at this, you can be in say Deutschland and go to IBM Germany to buy some bundle/product, and next thing you know your factory is being visited by guys from IBM afdiggastan, IBM digaffastan, and IBM bumfucknowhere, and they are actually doing the work, but for IBM it is all a clever accounting trick and none of it appears on the spreadsheets for IBM germany, so profits get fatter, meanwhile it all gets marked down as export sales by IBM bumfucknowhere etc.

Meanwhile you sit there wondering what the fuck happened to the premium product you paid for, while a bunch of IBM foreigners come over, steal all your laptops to take back to sell on Ebay Afdiggastan, have to get trained by what is left of YOUR local IT team to actually do the fucking job they were flown over to do, and then spend most of their time

Fuck you cards.

complaining about the horrendous price of food / beer in the soup kitchen compared to the prices back home in Digaffastan.

In fact it is such a fuck up you sack the few remaining staff you have in a bid to balance the budget, then hire them back at minimum wage via a crap agency that usually specialises in mortuary assistants and gravediggers, so they spend all day downloading 1080p porn over the corporate OC3 and spoofing packets on the Cisco voip network so nobody can get in touch with them.

Then the coffee machine, running windows embedded, goes down because of a dirty contact in the grounds tray and you have to call a coffee company engineer in to fix it, but the coffee company went into liquidation so the engineer covering takes two days to turn up, clean a contact by blowing on it, slams the tray back it and hits the power button…. the only people left in the building who could have fixed it are bust downloading porn and freaking the voip.

Half of the security and half of teh cleaners are fucking each other, so between the two of them anything that isn’t fucking nailed down and a shit load of stuff that is goes missing in a steady stream….

Being the spaghetti western cowpoke ain’t so bad, at least I can move on when these fuckers are reduced to tumbleweed and dust bowls, which don’t see too far off now, and I may not be much, but at least I am still a fucking Man, which is more than any of you cunts, except a couple of the security guys, and a couple of the cleaning girls, everyone else is in death row.

August 24, 2011

The God particle.

It’s not the Higgs Boson.

It has more in common with the old saying about the most dangerous part of a motor car being the nut between the steering wheel and the seat.

The God particle is a small piece of shit that lodges in many human brains, and which acts in much the same way as the toxoplasmosis parasite that makes cat piss smell interesting, the God particle is not a physical particle at all, much like the boson, but it is instead an idea, a meme.

The meme or idea is itself a shit idea, a shit meme, but that doesn’t matter, once lodged in the brain it adapts and changes its surroundings and environment, namely human thought processes.

Like the boson, the God particle I am talking about has never been directly observed, but rather its existence has been inferred from studying a vast bulk of observations, and its postulated existence forms the simplest answer we can think of to explain everything else that we can and do observe.

The God particle in this case is the idea or meme that “Not all women are filthy lying whores” which in turn spawns memes such as “very few women are filthy lying whores, and most of those few who are can blame it on a man

Once this particle becomes lodged in a human brain, that brain loses the ability to think rationally and logically on any subject, and becomes quite insane and twisted with regard to any subject involving wimminz.

The reason we look for this God particle is the same reason the guys at CERN are looking for the Higgs Boson, if it doesn’t exist, then life is a lot more complex and chaotic that we had anticipated, and for the guys at CERN that is bad, because the “stall speed” for them is when something becomes more chatoic than your available computational power can handle, at that point it essentially might as well be random acts of the flying spaghetti monster, unpredictable.

If we cannot assign a God particle to human brains, specifically the brains of those so infected with this meme, the wimminz and niggerz, then like the guys at CERN suddenly we find ourselves in a place where the possible outcomes exceed our computational power, and may as well be completely random.

At that point you have two choices;

  1. Put it on a pedestal and worship it, in effect deliberately infecting yourself with the meme.
  2. Deny it liberty and freedom, in effect exclude it from all otherwise clean and logical areas.

My personal belief is that we already have too many mystical, ethereal and transient subatomic particles, and the truth is that these subatomic particles, and indeed the Higgs Boson itself, if it exists, if it is found (two different things) are all just manifestations of perhaps less than a dozen more fundamental building blocks / rules of nature.

I think there is a direct parallel to human brains and the God particle / meme, I think you can take the entire DSM-V and wimminz and niggerz and everything else, and explain it all quite adequately from a much more fundamental level, and a few simple principles.

Undoubtedly these will include the FACTS than men are essentially born with unlimited (potentially billions) sperm, and women are born with a relatively dramatically limited cache of eggs, only a proportion of which can ever be used, eg 13 x 30 = 390

And then you will have to factor what happens to an organism that can have a maximum of 390 progeny, when it doses itself with hormones and cuts that back to 10, while the other sex of the species can still do billions.

Human beings, like fish or birds or anything else alive, are just DNA‘s way of making more DNA.

From DNA’s perspective, anything that interferes with that does not damage DNA as a whole, it just creates its own dead end.

Anyone who has had kids knows for a fucking fact that a significant proportion of kids are born with inherited mental characteristics, traits and predispositions, the acorn rarely falls far from the tree… sure, there is some blank canvas in the nature vs nurture argument, but the canvas as a whole is anything but blank, and its size and shape and weave are determined by the DNA.

So the fact is that being a skank ho feminazi does not happen at a level above and beyond the reach of DNA, quite the contrary, the reason that these skanks are singularly sexually unattractive, and the ones who reproduce produce sub-standard and unattractive kids, is because of the DNA at work.

The DNA in the toxoplasmosis brain parasite that makes cat piss smell interesting to mice, and makes humans like cats, is helping DNA along, it makes mice evolve, it makes cats evolve with them, and makes toxoplasmosis evolve with them, for DNA it is win win win, for individual mice, cats and parasites it is lose lose lose.

I think that eventually we will discover that the current crop of psycho skank ho feminazi wimminz are just DNA’s answer to the problem of human beings ascending to the point where they face no survival or breeding pressures, so it is time to introduce some and cull the herd of the deadwood and re-invigorate it.

And if you are going to play those games it stands to reason that given a choice between tampering with something that can potentially have billions of offspring, and something that can potentially have a couple of hands full, you are going to tamper with the one where even a 0.01% change alters the odds, you are going to tamper with the females.

You are going to get selected inferior specimens to reduce their already low reproduction rate in any way possible (equality / career / pill) and make any offspring they do have less viable (fucked up / ill educated / fugly / attitude problem) and while the results may take a few generations to start to accrue, once a head of steam is built up changes start happening rapidly.

Nature does not do evolution gradually, nature does evolution is manic fits and starts and spurts, with long periods of calm and consolidation and observation and testing in between.

In DNA’s “opinion” (and it is an opinion with the weight of God) the modern psycho skank feminazi is a fucking dead end, which is why you will see as in my case, when a proper man impregnates them, the male children are in effect mini me clones of daddy, and the female children are mini me clones of skank ho mummy… if skank ho mummy’s DNA survives, it is only to produce another womb… and not the traditional womb that mixes and matches and evolves DNA, but nature’s clone womb that produces cheap clones of viable male DNA, preserving it for future evolution.

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