Wimminz – celebrating skank ho's everywhere

November 13, 2013

Follow the money… even if it isn’t at first obvious.

In my day job, Cisco kit is *very* popular, for values of “very” that compare with android vs blackberry market share.

This isn’t because cisco kit is good, it is now all made in china and very cheaply too.

It is all because of the two pronged thing that is Cisco IOS and Cisco certification.

Cisco IOS + certification means anyone anywhere with a TCP connection can log in to your switch or router and admin it*****, so cheap Chinese hardware and cheap outsourced to Mumbai tech support means major mark-up to the product hyped and sold here in the west.

***** Except when this isn’t true, and the only way in is in person with a console cable, or the cheap Chinese hardware is dead and the only way in is in person to swap it out.**********

********** And it is THIS that virtual machines are designed to eliminate, nothing else, that is the unique selling point that matters, not any of the other reasons given.

If you were to ask me what to buy, I’d tell you to buy Draytek, it’s less money and better kit.

As an aside, there are still niches, when it comes to bonded EFM / SHDSL it is still pretty much http://www.rad.com or nobody in real life on the ground, as in I can’t remember the last time I saw anything else, same as anything picking up a BT fibre connection is going to be an Adva box.

In all of these above if you follow the money you can see why the decisions were made that were made, even though technically the same or better results could have been achieved for less money, a bit like in the 80’s the Equipu copier guy who came around every two weeks to fix the copier, that is how the company that supplied the copier made money, not by supplying the copier or toner, but by the constant and ongoing support it needed, that you were not told about when signing up.

I know a very wealthy man, his business put out a tender for quotes, he wanted dual homed gigE to his new office building, and he wanted a flat fixed fee per annum, which he was happy to pay up to 5 years in advance, and, he wanted an SLA, 100% uptime of at least 100 mbit, don’t give a fuck how you do it, just do it, and don’t bill me for it.

He got ZERO tenders, because his SLA requirement explicitly forbade the business model that *everyone* out there was founded on, so in the end he started a new company that did nothing but provide connectivity to his new office, he has his dual homed gigE fibre laid by his new ISP company which has only one customer, himself, with dual homed redundant microwave links on the roof to other sites in town where he has taken offices that hold nothing but the switchgear for the dishes on the roof and connectivity, and a third dish providing a satellite link.

He has 5 guys working shifts to give 24/7 coverage working on-site to ensure all these connections stay up, and to monitor the internal network, and 2 guys working day shifts to monitor and maintain the racks of servers and NAS boxen.

Frighteningly, his numbers for all this aren’t more than 20% higher than the lowballed numbers the various mega providers quoted him for the standard service, excluding the constant ongoing support calls and outages or brownouts where he had connectivity but not full bandwidth.

His “business” is selling racks to certain other business customers, each customer has a multiple of 2 full custom built racks, which are mirrors, and backups of their business, live, 24/7 replicated, backups, the deal is he can *literally* power down and disconnect the rack in 5 minutes from that customer’s phone call, and literally 5 minutes after that the rack is sealed in a custom enclosure and in a van with 2 drivers up front and 3 “guards” in back to verify seals aren’t broken etc, and that van can be at any of the London airports within another hour, or anywhere else you like at an average road speed of 50 mph….  so one copy goes to the customer, one stays in situ, and another one is built pronto to replace the one that was just pulled.

This is a very specific business segment and all of his customers are known to each other and themselves, some of them actually own others as subsidiaries,  in the same business sector… I can’t say much else about all this, but the data is basically customer records and billing databases.

The point of this is that for those who are wise to the iniquities of the “ongoing revenue from ongoing support” business model, which is essentially almost everything nowadays, there was a gap in the market, albeit a gap only someone with about 20 million of his own cash available to kick-start the project could exploit, but the gap was there, by design.

Market theory will tell you that such gaps are exploited naturally by market forces, not so, such gaps are CREATED naturally by big business, who seek to corral and control and manipulate customers, and while those who create these gaps do not exactly sow the ground with U238 and landmines, they do not do anything that might help anyone else exploit this territory.

I had the idea he is now doing, in 1998, at the dawn of the xDSL age and the end of the dial up 56k age, I didn’t have the wherewithal to exploit it, and back then I was thinking single hard disks, motorcycle couriers, small businesses with a single NT3.51 server, I wasn’t thinking big.

This man will himself tell you, part of the process before spending his own 20 big ones was to sit down with some heads and see if his project would in any way tread on the toes of those already in the marketplace, specifically, would starting his own ISP to get the product he wanted screw him with the major players, and the answer was no, on one condition, that the only customer his ISP ever served was himself.

This man told me, that it is in this business environment, that BT’s recent surprise and winning bid for nearly a billion quid for the football rights is being seen in the business world as the equivalent (and this is his words, not mine) of the USA launching Gulf War 1, which was of course all about freedom and democracy and mom’s apple pie for the kurds, fuck all to do with oil.

It is a gloves off, hat in the ring, launch *all* the thermonuclear missiles type of move, as far as all the other incumbents are concerned.

£897 million / 60 million (population) = £15 for every man woman and child in the UK, the vast majority of whom will neither be paying BT Sport customers, nor football fans.

It is, according to him, because Sky started selling broadband, hilariously effectively being a reseller of a reseller for a different BT group product, XDSL, but basically straying from the monthly subscription for a TV dish business model into the monthly subscription for a internet connection business model.

To be fair, it was a move Sky had to make, hello youtube, hello BBC iplayer, only a matter if time before the broadcast model fell to the on-demand model.

Nevertheless, it was an annexing the sudetenland moment, a kristallnacht moment, the gloves are off and now it is all down to burn rates and war chests.

The whole newspaper phone hacking thing, unrelated? Not at all, that was the archduke Ferdinand and some slimy Serbs, after all, the Murdoch empire has dirt to dish.

That is the trouble with following the money, if you aren’t aware enough you won’t see the drug dealer deliberately throwing away a million in product to burn a liability / competitor in a bust, or the biggest rivers on the planet being under the oceans.

You can’t even follow the billions, because that particular fiat currency might become worthless overnight, analogous to certain films where the protagonist must spend 100 million dollars in one year, and have *nothing* to show for it at the end…..

If you *know* you *have* to spend it now, while it is *still* worth *something*, or if you are involved in what is really a currency EXCHANGE, say 897 million Sterling at today’s “worth” for 10 million extra subscribers on monthly subscription….. the “sheeple eyeball month“, that might be a good exchange rate, I don’t know, depends if we are looking at the sheeple eyeball as a unit of currency that can be converted into sales of Brawndo, or votes, or apathy and the po-lice state…

Currently, in the UK, if you take “The Internet” to mean the backbone and all the switching gear, the local ISPs, the colo facilities and servers, home and business networking and computers, and increasingly the portable computers called mobile phones that shift *everything* as “data”, eg 0’s and 1’s, I have a truly frightening statistic for you.

The Internet = 17% of total UK electricity generating capacity.

and since all electricity consumed ultimately gets converted to heat, that means 17% of electrically sourced heat generation in the country is from “the internet”

That is bigger than *anything* since the days of steam dawned.

December 9, 2012

What it means to be a man and a father in 2012 AD

I’m late and it’s worrying me

So take the morning after pill bitchez, not interested, not my problem, now, are you going to bounce up and down on my cock or what…

This is one reality, once you wise up and reject the fiat currency capitalism and work ethic, you render yourself legally and financially immune to the whole child support racket… hell, I have a very good friend, a fellow FRA victim, who said fuck it and goes to the doctor once every three months to get a sick note for stress and anxiety caused by the FRA, he’s been doing it four, getting on five years now, living off the state, doesn’t work a lick, he says his is the only sane response to a state that amongst other things punishes men and fathers and rewards FRA’s and skank ho single mommies.High-Pressure-Sodium-Lamp-JY-1-

Here in Cornholeville, if you know where to look, you can tell that despite all the bluster and bullshit the ill winds of financial collapse are finally making themselves felt at the highest levels of the local state teat, the council and councillors.

Naturally with all these people the response is the same, shades of the two leased german executive saloons on the driveway being the last thing to go, while the fridge is empty, have to keep up the appearances of success at all costs.

And so it is that all the high profile very visible and very expensive stuff is all ring-fenced and untouchable, while on my regular evening drive to visit and check on an elderly relative what I first assumed was a dead street light has evolved into patches of urban darkness, the street lights near shops and junctions remain on, the other are going dark as early as 6pm

To be sure, each 400 watt sodium light turned off is a saving of say ten hours @ 400 watts = 4 kWh of electricity, which at current domestic prices = 4 x 14 = £0.56p

From the Cornholeville PR blurb about this, we have some 72,000 street lights costing some £3 million in electric every year, so perhaps a 10% reduction in this is £300k per year…. these are best case scenario numbers.

At £2 million a year each, the police helicopter would make a far greater saving, you just don’t need a fucking helicopter to catch burglars and twocers, it is a fucking scandalously profligate waste of resources.

You can ALWAYS do this, create a list of the shit that REALLY matters, road surfaces, signs, and furniture in good order, regular rubbish collection, maintenance of public lands and pathways, enforcement of local civil and planning regulations, some basic public services such as a library and you’re good to go, not much else that is important to the community, and lo and behold you just accounted for a 5% slice of the pie chart of local government expenditure, assuming you are allowed to see the actual figures that is….

The other 95%, that’s all shit, ring-fenced shit.

Wimminz be like this, tell em something has to give and they always start looking at the 5% of basic essential stuff, while the 95% of non-essential bullshit is ringfenced and simply not up for negotiation.

For X amount of money I can either go out and buy an iPhone5, or a separate washing machine and tumble dryer, hell, I can walk into my local bike shop and buy a brand new 2013 Triumph Bonneville (assuming I was daft enough to want one) for £99 a month, I know one wimminz paying that for a fucking Sky subscription, and another wimminz paying that for an iPhone5 + iPad on network subscription….

My washing machine and tumble dryer means all my clothes and bedding and towels and everything are always clean and fresh and dry, it has UTILITY.

For all its faults, a new bonnie would make me mobile and give me transport and allow me to commute Auf Viedersehn Pet style from the UK to Germany Monday to Friday to work, it has UTILITY.

To be fair, these are tough choices in some ways, I can sit at home with clean and dry clothes and a bonnie to get me to work, and no toys to entertain me or distract me or pass the time, but nevertheless this is life, you have to make choices, and the choices are not always as easy as these, and the future consequences not as easy to predict.

I faced such a choice when my own psycho skank ho he went nuclear and dropped an FRA on me to steal my kids away, suddenly all the “right” and “best” options were taken off the table, the only choices left sucked donkey balls and had impossible to predict future consequences.

God, Allah and Fate willing, my sons will reach the age of 16 and no longer be subject to the whims of the secret family courts, that is one of the more concrete future milestones in my life, between here and there everything is hazy and obscured and unknown, so making choices is tough.

Of course WHEN they reach 16 they will have their own agenda’s, and it is quite possible that psycho skank ho mummy has managed to instil a belief in a dead beat abusive dad who never gave a fuck about them and who they are better off without. Nothing I can do about that.

On the other hand, it is also possible they will decide to find this “daddy” and see for themselves what the fuck it is all about.

In THAT scenario it doesn’t take much brains to work out that there is a world of difference between them finding some broken down loser who has taken it up the ass from the skank ho and the state and cried in his beer, and them finding a man who when faced with a harsh choice decided that his sons would find a MAN, a man who could still be some use to them, teach them shit, hopefully help them catch up a little on the essential knowledge and skills they have missed out on.


I WILL NOT EVER LIE TO MY SONS, neither will I ever say anything other than this, no matter what the incentive, to anyone.

The above paragraph alone means that I will never seen my sons before the age of 16 (or maybe ever) because until that age those in control of their lives, psycho skank ho mummy and the secret family courts etc, will ensure that I do not…

Mummy says you hurt her and you don’t love us and you left us all alone

Should I be given or offered any hope whatsoever of seeing my sons, it will be on condition that I do not do anything but meekly accept such statements as fact, which means if I went along with the bullshit and effectively condoned the actions of psycho skank ho and the secret family courts et al, the person the boys might eventually be allowed to meet might well be their biological father, but he would not be a man, or anyone they could respect, or anyone ever able to help them… nor would his word be worth a damn when he did say “I love you Son”

Tough fucking choices for a man and a father in 2012 AD, and I am only one of hundreds of new men each fucking day drawn into the machine and faced with these choices.

While I am not incarcerated, my doors have locks but I hold they keys, my rooms have light switches on the inside, and I can come and go as I please, I have much in common with the wrongly convicted prisoner serving a very long sentence for a crime he did not commit.

I can continue to refuse to accept my guilt, and do the whole 16 years of hard time, or I can go along with what the machine wants, accept my guilt and get out on parole in three years with good behaviour.

In the latter case a man went into prison, and died there, and what came out was not a man.

I said above, I will not lie to my sons.

That means that when they are 16 they may walk up to me and say the following;

So dad, what you are saying to me is that in order to preserve yourself, you basically abandoned me and my brother to mum and the courts.

and I will have to say “Yes Son, because it is not a battle I could have won, I would have lost and gone to prison and made every lie they told about me true, and you and your brother would STILL be a ward of the courts and property of your mother.

Do I feel good about that? Do I feel proud of it? Do I feel I have done my duty as a father? Do I feel that I have shown my love for my sons? etc etc… fuck no.

It’s a gamble, your mother and the state pointed a loaded gun at my head, so I had to make a tough choice, and the tough choice is to give up all hope of being a father to you, ever, in the hope that in doing so I could at least teach you something worthwhile, how to be a man.

I don’t hope that you boys will ever love me, or ever like me, or ever want to spend time in my company, I haven’t earned any of that, and I am not going to give you any whiny shit about I wasn’t allowed to by your psycho skank ho mummy or the state.

I DO hope that you boys will see how a man acts when presented with truly horrible choices, and learn from that, and perhaps in time respect me a little for it.

I DO hope that you boys will grow up to say their dad was a cunt, but at least he was a man… and maybe feel a little pride that that same strength rests within you boys too.

October 29, 2012

The problem with BBC

Not the British Broadcasting Corporation, so not another article about bloody Jimmy Saville, but the other one, Big Black Cock.

See, the thing is, big black cock is attached to a black man, and as I have said many times here, I have far, far, far more in common with a black man than I do with a white woman.

So, what the fuck is it REALLY all about.

You never hear a wimminz say “I met this guy his name is Paul and we did that and he is like that and yadda yadda yadda” and somewhere at the end of it she lets slip something about him that leads you to think “Paul is a black dude“.

You always hear “black” right up front, as an intrinsic and major part of the deal, it is not “Paul, who happens to be black” in the sense of “Paul, who happens to be French“, it is instead always “black Paul

And, let’s face it, it is always derogatory, fucking black cock is slumming it, in the gutter, same as fucking dog cock or horse cock, but unlike dog cock and horse cock black Paul’s cock is attached to Paul, a human being, a man, not a dog or a horse, and certainly not less than a wimminz.

It’s in the same sense you always get wimminz on swinging sites demanding an “8 inch plus cock” but I have never ever ever heard a man demand an “8 inch plus deep cunt“… these wimminz are reducing it to a piece of meat, something rented or bought by the pound weight, or by the yard length, or by the slumming gutter species.

So, BBC, Big Black Cock, never Big Black Cunt, what is it all about if you happen to be “paul”?

Well, “Paul” isn’t stupid, he knows EXACTLY why the white trash skank ho wants to fuck him, and it has to be said, that (insulting and racist) reason is exactly why his black male friends Tom, Dick and Harry won’t go anywhere near skanky white ho’s with their cock, because they don’t need the fucking attitude, go fuck a dog or a horse.

Paul, however, has a different attitude….

Paul also has herpes, so do two of his BBC fuckbuddies who regularly pull trains on skanky white sluts, his attitude is if some skanky white slut wants to get down in the barnyard with the animals, they deserve to get some diseases from the animals.

Paul and I discussed this, and I made some comment about spreding disease amongst the flocks, thanks man, lrfh… Paul looks and me and says OK, pull up a swinging site, so we do.

He’s right, we draw up two lists, I would / would not fuck that, and there are zero exceptions, I would not fuck anything he would, and he would not fuck anything I would.

His “would fuck” list consists entirely of wimminz too trashy and slutty for me to fuck, my “would fuck” list consists entirely of wimminz who would not fuck him simply because they do not find him attractive…

So far this is all very interesting, but then the conversation takes what is an unexpected turn for me, and this is why I decided to write about it here.

“Paul” looks at me and asks, “Have you ever fucked a black chick?

Nope, never have, he asks me why not, “Dunno, just never really found them sexually attractive….”  not in any racist sense, just the same as clinically obese wimminz, they don’t set anything alight inside me sexually.

So he asks me if I ever been hit on by a black chick, oh yes, plenty times, just never felt the urge…

So there you go he says, one of those ways in which being a black man is different to being a white man, black chicks want white cock, this is of course after they have had their fill of black cock.

So then he tells me something else, the analogy to the too trashy and slutty to fuck white skank ho for black guys is the black chick who has worked her way through a mile of black cock and now craves white cock…. I guess my have my mouth open in surprise… he asks me where I think he caught herpes… banging some black chick who also craved white cock.

I am pondering this in my best Pinky and the Brain fashion, when he hits me with something else, “You know that stuff you wrote about the cat parasite in the brain that makes cat piss smell interesting to mice infected with it?” yup, toxoplasma gondii, “you know you say it is also in cat people’s brains, that’s why you have cat people and dog people” yup…

So he says, why should that be the only parasite or thing on the planet able to affect people’s behaviour?

What if there really is something in the inter-racial sex thing, once you go black you can’t go back, what if the fact that he only got the inter-racial sex thing AFTER fucking a wimminz who was into inter-racial sex isn’t just a coincidence? What if our respective “choices” in what were and were not fuckable wimminz were not choices, but like the cat piss parasite, some other parasite or agent was at work, affecting what we personally found attractive?

What about the parallels between the kind of aversion I felt for “cat wimminz” and “BBC wimminz”, maybe I feel a similar kind of aversion because there is a similar kind of agent at work?

Like Paul says, it doesn’t even have to be a parasite, simple transmission of an enzyme that subtly altered the brain biochemistry would do the same job, and the sharing of bodily fluids that is sex is a great way to share enzymes.

And then Paul reminds me of something I heard twenty years ago but had clean forgotten, your own individual DNA is not immutable and set it stone, it can and does change as you go through life, not just methylation, but also point mutation, frame shift mutation, deletion, insertion, inversion and expression / transcription errors.

It turns out even 15 minutes of exercise or a cup of coffee can affect the methylation of our DNA, and if a cup off coffee can do this, what about 20+ years of exposure to the contraceptive pill + phthalate packaged foods + moisturisers + eye liners + steroids in cows milk + perfumes?

Maybe all I am doing is reacting to the BBC wimminz in EXACTLY the same way I react to the clinically obese, the drug addict, the alky wimminz, maybe at some instinctive biochemical level I am reacting negatively to “infected”.

In closing, Paul hits me with an interesting thought, he knows I never eat cunt (he does), and he knows I am a dog person not a cat person, so he wonders what would happen if his lab (Paul is a research biochemist) got funding to do research into possible connection between wimminz with toxoplasma gondii parasite infection in the brain, wimminz who like having their cunt eaten, wimminz who like to “gush”, wimminz who like the BBC / BWC / inter-racial sex……

You can’t eat cunt without exposing yourself to the wimminz urine, and if the wimminz urine contains toxoplasma gondii….. “how’s about that then?

October 12, 2012

Teh fucking MSM (main stream media)

Today, I am going to look at the front page of the daily mail

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2216453/John-Peel-got-pregnant-I-15-Woman-claims-month-affair-DJ.html – quelle surprise another wimminz comes out of the woodwork after the guy is dead and starts claiming victim status.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2216489/Sir-Jimmy-Savile-set-Broadmoor-keys-How-sick-star-access-mentally-ill-patients.html – now things have escalated to the point where this other dead man is now openly being called a paedophile, after, you guessed it, some wimminz come forward and claim he abused them etc, back when he was alive, back in the 70’s

The interesting thing about the Saville story is that according to ALL the press, *everyone* at the BBC knew all about Saville’s sexual antics, and indeed Saville was just one of many…

…if this is true, given the relationship between media and press, then every journo at every newspaper also knew, and kept it quiet, so they are in fact a PART of this conspiracy that they are now screaming loudest about, and indeed methinks the lady doth protest too much.

But, moving swiftly on..

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2216553/International-Day-Girl-Child-2012-Devastating-images-terrifying-world-child-brides.html – this article continues with the statement “Although child marriage is against the law in many countries, and international treaties forbid the practice, it is estimates that about 51 million girls below age 18 are currently married.

In the UK you can run away to Gretna Green and get married at 16, or you can wait till 17 and walk into any register office… so these are part of this 51 million suddenly “child” brides… had thus argument with a slut recently who claimed that 18 was the age of adult hood in the UK, so how come they can fuck at 16 and join the army and get handed a gun and sent on deployment at 16… children aren’t allowed to decide to fuck or to sign up for the army.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2216274/Jimmy-Savile-pictured-perched-Stoke-Mandeville-hospital-bedsides.html – Yes, one headline story about the BBC case, sorry, the Saville case isn’t enough, so lets have some “chilling” photos of a guy sat on a hospital bed, you know, photos taken by professional PRESS photographers.. you know, the same people who must be implicit in the cover up, should there have been one….

Just when you thought it was over…

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2216224/Jimmy-Savile-Yet-known-British-TV-celebrity-accused-abusing-young-girl.html – oh no, a woman accuses another well known british BBC celeb of abusing her, this will be the John Peel allegation / non-story, done twice

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2216381/Jimmy-Savile-Its-time-called-New-Tricks-squad.html – fan the flames, now it is a scandal, of course it is, a scandal the press would not stoip until it had created, while pointing the finger at the beeb, while studiously and hypocritically ignoring the fact that in the iniquitous world of journos, anything that was common knowledge within the beeb for the past 40 years has to have been common knowledge in Fleet Street for the past 40 years too.


I’d like to go on, but I can’t, I can’t stomach any more, and yes I know they are not working hyper-links in the green text, sure you can copy and paste if you feel the need.

No, it is the what passes for language, that fucks me off the most, like the sluts I know who are always telling people what those other people “need” to do, till they try it on me, and I interrupt with “No, I do not NEED to do this thing, you just WANT me to do this thing, and you aren’t giving me any reason why I would want to do this thing, so you can kiss my ass.”

That of course leads into circular arguments with the skanks where if it suits them the 16 year old girl is an empowered pwincess, or if it suits them the 16 year old girl is a vulnerable child, of course what usually suits them is both simultaneously being true, the ultimate wimminz shit test…

Amusingly since my FRA and red pill on steroids event I haven’t even bothered to pay lip service to even being polite to these skanks, I hear shit like that I do not merely call it, I openly ridicule it for what it is, pathetic childish and nauseating, as a result they often fall in “love” with me.. go figure… of course the more unfuckably ugly and obese they are the more they are prone to use this kind of newspaper language, where everything is elastic, their wants become everyone else’s needs, and of course men are always creepy evil rapists and paedos…


Invariably, when I get into arguments with people over what I have written and said, the core of their position is never that what I have actually said, as per words actually uttered or written, and the dictionary meanings thereof, is something they are in disagreement with, rather it is always “what I really meant” or “what those words really mean

It is the church of the committee, where what they call communication and dialogue, I, and the dictionary, call propaganda and monologue.

There is literally not one single paragraph, much less one article or one page, in any of the MSM that is actually intended to inform or educate me.

Instead 100% of the output as we can see above is intended to get me steamed up about something or other, some cause de jure, while simultaneously twisting and misrepresenting that cause to such a vast extent that it no longer bears even a passing resemblance to the truth.

When the MSM *is* a gas-lighting bunny boiler, chicken little, then all the politicians and businessmen and financiers and bankers and cops can do as they please, secure in the knowledge that the circus maximus is doing it’s job, and keeping the great unwashed as ignorant as ever, which is of course why they own the MSM in the first fucking place…

…then the man in the street is apt to grasp any old shite and cling to it.

Go to Africa and there is a real problem, apparently, with AIDS infected men who think that raping a virgin is a cure, you see the difficulty…

  • The story itself is just more MSM bullshit
  • The story itself is true, BECAUSE of the MSM bullshit and failing to actually inform.

It’s a binary choice, only one of those two choices can be true, and whichever one it is, the consequences for us all suck.

I was shopping in Tesco’s earlier, and I rounded a corner in the aisle and bumped into Rolf Harris… “Hey Rolf..” I said “… I remember you doing “Two Little Boys” back in 1970

Fuck off you cunt…” said Rolf “… that was Jimmy Saville


January 23, 2012


Because I am a single man free from the financial burdens of wimminz, I was able to turn around at work today and announce “I am bored shitless, I am going to go into town and buy an android pad.

Because I am a single man free from the yoke of wimminz or managers I am able to indulge such whims, if you don’t like it sack me.

Because I live in the UK, our yank readers will need to know that PC world / Currys / Comet are the Walmart / Bestbuy equivalent, and Maplin is Radio shack.. oh, and for price conversions just take US dollar price and remove the dollar sign and replace with a pound sterling sign.


First port of call is Maplins, I like Maplins for two reasons, one is the staff all know their shit, on offer was a Viewsonic 10 inch tablet for 200 quid.

The other reason I like Maplins is they have a 28 day no quibble no questions asked money back guarantee policy, which I like, a LOT, and the staff as I said know their shit, their opinion is the thing ain’t bad once you get rid of the fucking awful Viewsonic launcher and install any other launcher you like, such as the Go launcher.

Thinking “meh” mainly because this thing lacked a GPS chip, I headed up to the local Pissy World.

Knowing pissy world as I do, I buttonhole one of the sales droids and check the spec of the item being sold, in this case an Asus Transformer, is this a 101 or a 201, and what spec….. because in true pissy world style the label neatly omits stuff like RAM / CPU / GPS etc.

The droid eventually informs me this one has “One meg of ram

I tell him “my phone has 512 meg, you think maybe that should be a gig of ram?

He says maybe , but that is what their in store crib sheet says, so I ask him what their return policy is.

He tells me 21 days, provided I do not open the package.

I ask him, how do I know the fucking thing works as advertised (especially given that it is an Asus, and the known problems with GPS and Wi-fi, thanks to Asus putting the fucking thing in a metal case) he says we can test these on display in the shop, I say they do not have connectivity, so he types something in to make wi-fi work while admitting the in store net connection is shit, I try google maps and the fucking process crashes, ho hum, open the browser and type in http://news.bbc.co.uk/ because this is a fairly good test of browser capability…. blank page that refuses to render, droid suggests BBC site is down, I look at him in disgust, whip out my phone and bring up BBC news website… oops… works perfectly.

SO I play with the Asus slider next to it, same shit… I just look at the punk, this is a £450 sale he is not going to make.

Fuck off to Currys, who it has to be said aren’t exactly in fierce competition with pissy world, tell them my problems at pissy world, they have the same returns policy, and then the fucking asshole suggests that there may be more to it with the failed BBC news website, I said yeah, android and a browser, the asshole says there may be something else required to make the website work, I look at him in disgust and shake my head and tell them to forget it, another £450 sale lost forever.

Fuck off to Comet, same policy, then I spot that they are stocking 101 transformers at 201 prices, eg 399 quid a pop.

Fuck off home.

So basically there isn’t a decent android tablet around, except possibly the 10 inch Samsung galaxy, but it is 200 quid too expensive and nobody who does stock it has a decent returns policy…. has to be said buying on-line invokes distance selling rights which are good, but with these stores you’ll have to fucking fight the cunts to get your rights.

I won’t buy Asus because their stuff is always shit under the hood and shiny ponies on the outside.

Maplins is the only shop of those mentioned where I would spend ANY money, partly because their returns policy is superb, partly because the staff are knowledgeable, but mainly because they aren’t incompetent lying cunts selling overpriced dreck like everyone at pissy world et al.

The viewsonic comes closest, the price is right and the spec is right, pity about lack of GPS but the rest is livable, but for one killer flaw, not 100% Google Android compatible, proprietary code and hardware and proprietary market (not google android market)= death for the tech savvy buyer…. because INVARIABLY these proprietary features always make the thing a buggy piece of shit for the sake of 5 bucks saved and annoying, intrusive and futile branding imposed.

Because I am a single man free from the buying pressures imposed by wimminz and kidz, I DID NOT BUY A FUCKING TABLET COMPUTER.

I went back to work refreshed and happy…. with the money still in my bank / pocket.

Perhaps late 2012 will see some decent android tablets.

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