I bet you thought I was going to talk about the latest Trump / Sessions / Pelosi shit eh..
“Blood in the water” is one of those phrases that is on the face of it self explanatory, and yet, utterly misleading.
You’re probably already thinking of some hollywood esque scene with a swimmer in trouble thrashing around in pink foam surrounded by sharks or piranha… when in fact nothing could be further from scientific truth.
Scientific truth is the blood to be detectable and attract the predator is measured in parts per million, or less, you certainly cannot see it, in fact the only time you can see it is either in the case of a single victim within inches of the actual wound, and that is only in calm clear waters, or in the case of hundreds of victims in a “bordered” area like a cove where they are all clubbed to death… and that usually happens hand in hand with sea ice and snow which is not water, and which does readily show blood…
No, the blood in the water that I am talking about is my phone, now while the phone itself has gone from Samsung Galaxy S1 through various iterations to the present Note 4, the sim card, contract and phone number have all remained unchanged.
The use has essentially remained unchanged too, the very first one was set up paired with my gmail/google account, and I haven’t really done anything different since.
So, essentially, nothing has changed.
My phone rang 2 minutes ago, it’s a call from Land Rover, and yes it actually was from them and not a call centre, could they email me the brochure for the new award winning 2017 Discovery, “FUCK OFF!” and add the number to the block list.
In the past 2 or three months cold calls trying to sell me shit have gone from maybe one every two or three weeks to two or three a day, and as the above example shows, no it is not all was I mis sold PPI insurance or was I involved in a car crash as a victim, in fact those sorts of calls are as rare as they ever were.
These are calls trying to sell me higher end goods and services, like the aforementioned new Disco, a UK£44k+ item (43.5 k for the entry level job), I know, it’s so award winning and fucking wonderful the cunts are cold calling anyone who might have credit on the off chance of selling one…
These sorts of things, taken together, are blood in the water.
When the sorts of people who cold call me try to sell me product X, then you know product X is in dire straits and going down fast and the cold calling world + dog is not merely the last hope, but the last gasp of the dying creature.
And, when we are talking about things like the new award winning 2017 model 5th generation Land Rover Disco, it’s not the iphone, LR group make a bunch of vehicles, LR group is owned by Tata now since they bought it from Ford (along with Jaguar) a few years ago, so the whole company doesn’t rely on a single flagship product to sink or swim.
Or, it *shouldn’t*, but when you get cold called to see if you have any interest in the new model, that’s blood in the water, so clearly things are anything but rosy at Jaguar Land Rover and at Tata.
And by anything but rosy I do not mean “if we can pull this sales push off, we can keep the plants open for another year or two, and maybe by then things will be better…“, it’s way way way beyond that, it’s all already written down behind the scenes as being sold off or scrapped, this is just an exercise to get rid of inventory while the getting is good…
Shades of Victory Motorcycles, the wannabe Harley company owned by Polaris, who very recently shut up shop, Victory is no more… you do not have to ask what that has done to the value of a 2015 Victory should you be unfortunate enough to own one.
That’s another local guy who won’t ever talk to me again, he laughed at me for saying I’d *consider* selling my 14 (now 15) year old HD for around 10k, he reckoned I was 3 to 4k over optimistic, I replied not really as I’m not trying to sell, if you *want* to buy you have to persuade me to be in a selling mood, and 9k won’t persuade me, and don’t forget I own it outright and don’t have any other debts or loans that I need to service, even if I can’t afford to ride it (ins and fuel) I *can* afford to keep it…. anyway he was telling me I should have bought a nearly new Victory, like him, I said yeah, but it’s not a Harley, is it…. I said if Victory stop trading next year they are just another make that has been around a few years and gone, a 2014 kwack vulcan or suzi boss would have been a better buy, as everyone will still know what it was in 10 or 20 years time.
Little did I know I would be proven right in just under 1 year….
But I wasn’t a prophet, the blood was in the water for Victory for all with eyes to see, it’s wasn’t a Harley, and it was a lot more expensive than all the Jap vee twins, and the “better tech” card played against HD owners jumping ship falls flat because the same card once played means you’ll buy a Jap vee twin, and besides, HD already played that card with the V-rod, and outside Europe it didn’t sell for shit, and now that line is ended…. so the Victory “wasn’t a harley” but was “better tech than harley” but poorer tech and more expensive than any of the jap vee twins, which also were not harleys…..
Still, having shitcanned Victory, the parent company Polaris is focusing on the Indian brand… yeah, no blood in the water there… like fuck…. the reasons for now buying an Indian being exactly the same reasons for buying a Victory, not a harley, better tech than harley, and it will die too, not a harley, poorer tech than the japs, more expensive that the japs…
Of course this shit does *not* just apply to global brands like Land Rover and so on, on the contrary, when the big boys start catching a cold the tens of thousands of smaller fish are all suffering from double pneumonia and rectal prolapse.
I started my own small business about three years ago and launched it properly about two years ago and started doing it full time about one year ago, and while it isn’t something as universally available as a cup cake / nail art / tanning shop, it’s not exactly brain transplants either.
The name of the company is two words, the second word is what we do, the first word is where we are, for example London Plumbing, partly because I lack imagination and an MBA from Harvard, partly because I have no time for generic branding, what the fuck do “Inspiration Ltd” (hopefully a made up name, but I doubt it) do?
That and a good home made website is it, the sum total of all my advertising and marketing.
The name was chosen because I figured maybe 20 miles was the radius of the catchment area for potential customers… so important to have a local name, and the of course to say what we did.
I really must buy a map of the UK and start sticking pins in it, to be sure there are still a few counties and regions that I have not had any customers from, but even so…. just yesterday a customer who is themselves in a similarish (printers) sort of business, but who have three huge sheds full of million pound printing machinery on an industrial estate 200+ miles away took delivery of an order that I/we did for them, and between us and them as the crow flies or courier drives is basically 75% of the country and therefore business.
What the fuck… what the fuck is going on in these regions that they are bypassing them and ending up with me, 100 or 150 or 200 miles away, and placing an order with me?
Blood in the water.
But, it is EVEN WORSE THAN THAT, because the corollary to having blood in the water is to have predators attracted to the blood and the consumption of the victim.
What we are seeing now is blood in the water, but no predators, so instead of a healthy and sustainable ecosystem where the herd is thinned out by the predators taking the weakest and hindmost and plain unlucky for lunch, what we now have are the weak and infirm slowly bleeding out while infection sets in over a protracted period of time….
…..there is an ocassional twitch and muted claim “I’m not dead yet…”
But there is no vigour anywhere to be seen, there is no life, no dynamic struggle, no straining sinew and no red in tooth and claw, it’s more 1930’s midwest (US) dustbowl than 1930’s central african veldt, what skeletons there are have been picked clean by bacteria and desiccating winds and insects, not gnawed and cracked by predators.
And it is symptomatic of society as a whole, we have bred nations of totally weak and worthless ineffectual wimps, so a local WPC has just quit the Police Force after 13 years because she can’t handle the way the senior brass and management no longer support front line staff… boo hoo..
I’m just left with a feeling of well, that’s what happens when you start allowing wimminz in to do a man’s job, they can’t fucking hack it.
When I was a boy 95% of Plod were ex-service men who had seen action, and I mean real action, not this crew served 1000 yards from the enemy or better still 5000 yards *above* the enemy shit, so ONE fucking Police Constable was sent to a pub to break up a fight and arrest all those responsible, and if he couldn’t do it by himself, then maybe being a cop wasn’t the fucking job for you sunshine.
Dirty Harry was never about the Neanderthal with the 44 magnum asking punks if they felt lucky, it was all about one man doing a job without delay and without constantly calling for either backup or approval or permission.
For the purposes of the film he got it right more than he got it wrong, and for the purposes of the film he got it right without having any of the unsavoury characteristics of someone strong enough to get it right all by their lonesome.
Lt Colombo was popular because he had many of the unsavoury characteristics, he still got the job done though.
For the purposes of films everyone who is evil can dress in black and everyone who is good can dress in white, and no need to change costumes before the last reel ends… there is never blood in the water, there is never 80% of the cast being both utterly incompetent at their stated job while also not giving a fuck as long as they get paid, I’m all right jack.
We *used* to call that “institutionally corrupt” and it was always a thing to be despised, and in story-telling it always led to a bitter ending for the protagonist.
95% of politicians / lawyers / business leaders / employees are now institutionally corrupt, same can be said for parents, no wonder when the penalty for being otherwise is divorce, imprisonment and seizure not only of your assets but also your future earning power.
Blood in the water may be a parts per million thing, but what happens when it’s not just areas that are contaminated in parts per million so that predators swimming in the vast majority of clear water can sense it?
What happens when the contamination is so widespread that it is a background source and it doesn’t really matter what water sample you take, you’ll get some sort of positive reading.
In this environment predators can’t find prey, and they die out, and the prey instead of being consumed, slowly rot away and pollute the commons still further.
Then you only start noticing the blue blood in the water, when the relative royalty starts to exsanguinate, like fucking Lard Rover (sic) cold calling me to try to sell me an “Award Winning” 2017 Disco.
The whole question of how something that needs a going out of business sale can win awards, who gives these awards, who clothes the emperor and so on, it outside the scope of this piece.
The scope of this piece is just, well, I’d never have predicted that in a million fucking years. I’d have predicted they’d just sell it off or fold, I’d ***never*** have predicted they would stoop so low or so desperate as to start cold calling people who might be able to swing the credit……..