Wimminz – celebrating skank ho's everywhere

April 15, 2014

ahhh fuckit

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: , — wimminz @ 3:42 pm

You know the story, or maybe you don’t…

One of the things you kept no matter what, even though you disassembled Johnny 5 in the heat of the moment years ago, just in case the vindictive psycho ex decided on a land grab, turn him into scrap.. har har

So what the fuck and years pass and finally you decide it’s time to make slow gradual steps reassembling Johnny 5

One of the things that went completely missing in the intervening years is the wiring loom, though I do have pics of it side cuttered up..lol

But I did all the other shit in the interim, all new wheel bearings, brakes, powder coating, so it wasn’t total neglect, at least, that is what I try to kid myself.

So this bitch is sat there with old oil in her, and one day I decide to botch a basic wiring loom and fire her up…

No Joy, fucking dead.  Ah well, the old Yam TCI units were notorious for being crap anyway.

Fucking carbs are full of shit anyway.

Months pass and I decide to give the guys at Ignitech a call, get me a new TCI unit, new coils and HT leads, and locally get new plugs.

Strip, clean and rebuild the carbs, rig up a temp fuel supply with a funnel hanging from the roof of the shop.

Fit the coils, botch in the new TCI unit (thankfully there is no timing adjustments or anything to do on these “old” jap bikes), connect up the battery and crank the bitch.

Sweet fuck all…

Pull the HT lead and try a spare plug on the engine… nuffink…

Flash the coils (after disconnecting from the TCI) with the +ve supply and ZAP, big fat blue spark, no fucking output from the TCI.

Why no output from a brand new TCI, most likely guess is the 33 year old pick-ups on the crank, the one thing I avoided looking at for now, mainly because it means draining the oil and shit, and I was hoping to fire her up on the old oil and warm the motor, before draining, so now really it will require two oil changes, bitch.

Fuck this shit, what are the chances the old rectifier / regulator is still any good… yeah, that’s what I thought too, another case of putting something off and hoping for the best, and then at a later date being stalled again because it didn’t turn out that way.

So chase the boys at Ignitech, they supply pick-ups and rectifiers, gotta identify the right pick-ups first, and asked them in the interim if there is a method they will accept / approve to simulate a pick-up to the TCI unit and drive a coil to spark, just because, you know, so far I have an assumption, not a smoking gun…

The old pick-ups do give 166 Ohms, which is within book spec, but of course that don’t mean they are working worth shit, just means they aren’t burnt out.

Bitch is cranking and you can hear / feel the compression and she is pumping vapours like she should, just needs a fucking spark… then I could have gotten on with making a new wiring loom…

There is a moral here, the moral is the new TCI unit and coils cost me 200 Euros inc shipping, the new Yuasa YTX-20 about 120 Euros, new plugs 15 to 20 Euros, this morning I discovered that whatever tosser I lent my cable crimp tool to hasn’t returned it, and I only had a 2.99 piece of shit, so went out and bought another stripper / crimper, 45 Euros, while we are at it get some more crimps and heat shrink, another 25 Euros… we’re up to 450 ish Euros

Fucking pick-ups are only about 15 Euros each, and about 110 for the new rectifier, so I already spent the bulk of the fucking money to make a 100% brand new ignition and wiring system, oh yeah, 130 Euros for the two carb rebuild kits and consumables etc.

And because the bitch did not get a spark and start, I cannot sit here and say OK, Johnny 5 is alive, now I can proceed and make the wiring loom and all the other shit I have to do to turn this from a project in the workshop to a street legal and reliable bike.

So these days I have free are, at least as far as project bike is concerned, wasted.

All because I delayed buying the pickups and rectifier, because I was trying to save on an oil change…. because I decided this time to buy the bitch some semi synthetic instead of the usual generic stuff, and that shit is 80 Euros a gallon… plus a new filter.

And new headlights are on the list, and the saddle needs remaking or replacing, and being honest the tank needs swapping for a larger one, as it is the old one is full of rust flakes and the pet-cock is seized solid, needs a final drive chain too, so it’s not like it isn’t going to be a money pit for a while yet… I suspect there is a 1,000 Euros without any problems at all in those little things.

And I haven’t, or won’t, actually save any money, by the time the job is done.

And as I type this, the bitch hasn’t sprung into life and filled my workshop with noise and smell and carbon monoxide, which is a bummer.

And this is a really simple ignition system, you just plug things together, there is no adjustments of any kind that can be made to the ignition electrics.

And I still managed to fuck it up, which is the only definition that really applies when you get up with the plan to start that bitch today…

Spoiling a ship for ha’p’orth of tar.

And because I scared myself a couple of days ago, you know “it’s been a few years since the bitch was run last” and then someone asks you when, exactly… so you start digging through your electronic files.

July 2005, so coming up on NINE mother-fucking years, not “a few”, fucking NINE….  it’s getting to the stage of one of those youtube vids, and here she is, last started in 1926….

(not mine below)


  1. Eh, petrol. terrible engines to work on.

    Anyways, i just rebuilt a landy last year in about 6 months, so here’s a few easy ways to save a few bucks that actually improve the state of the damn thing.
    If the tank’s rusty, get the paint burned off, along with anything else metal that’s rusty (bulk is cheaper), in one of those ovens, you can usually get that done for a few tenners. Run a wire brush across the things, see if there’s any holes, weld the holes if neccesary. Then just get everything galvanized, it’s cheaper than painting.
    Also those tiny unweldable holes in tanks you can just solder using an old open flame soldering torch, its a much more proper way than the coating shit they pour in them nowadays. But most of those tiny holes close when galvanizing anyways.

    That way your bike will at least last a good while. Of course it’ll be heavier, but eh, bikies and their light vehicles. There’s no need to go that fast you know.

    Comment by Digger Nick — April 15, 2014 @ 8:44 pm

    • lmfao… you’re a fucking heathen…. ps *never* galvanise a diesel tank, or a petrol tank of a engine with nickasil liners.

      no longer have oxy-acet bottles, but I used to braze up tanks, and done the whole shit about shaking them around for an hour of two full of nuts and washers, nowadays, fuck it, buy another tank..lol

      the indians are doing lots of old retro motorsickle spares nowadays, so you can buy replica DBD clubman tanks all chromed and shit, and even polished brass tanks, all for a couple of hundred notes.

      no, first things is sort this sparking out and get some smoke and flame out the bitch, then get on with the rest…

      in 2005 just before it got tarped and stashed

      Comment by wimminz — April 15, 2014 @ 8:55 pm

      • Damn nice bike, doesn’t look too complicated to work on. But yeah, if you have nikasil liners, and high sulphur fuel, yer fecked if you galvanized the tank too. But it’s mostly the high sulphur fuel that fecks you, and not the galvanizing of the tanks.

        And nikasil was invented after the rover 2.25. Besides that, the filler mesh tube and tank pipes were all galvanized. Some fuel tanks even came galvanized from the factory (military lightweight). That goes for both diesel and petrol landies. So i kind of was going by the rover ‘standard’ of ancient ‘technology’.

        Speaking of bikes, happen to know one that has old cast iron liners, an engine without a turbo, and preferably leaks less oil than an old military triumph bike? I might go build a bike some time soon.

        Comment by Digger Nick — April 15, 2014 @ 9:36 pm

        • ah well, the old CAV pumps could handle a bit of fuel contamination, and the direct injection BMC’s likewise…. try it with a modern pump or a high speed diesel.

          Yes, if you can get your hands on a pre unit BSA A10, they were a fucking good bike, get the iron head single carb ones if you can… prolly expensive rocking horse shit now though…. old WLA harley wasn’t bad either….

          I know I am biased, but if you can get one of the early 80’s yam xv twins that is mechanically sound, they got a lot going for them, very undertuned under stressed motor, low centre of gravity, narrow, 55 mpg, pretty light, monoshock rear, homage to the old vincents really…. lots of people put single SU on em, I’m sticking with the twin hitachi’s…

          have to say, I thought this would be more your style though

          Comment by wimminz — April 15, 2014 @ 9:51 pm

          • Man that old diesel bike sounds so wonderful. Downside is that it goes about as fast as my landy.
            Maybe an ex-military BMW bike?

            Comment by Digger Nick — April 15, 2014 @ 10:46 pm

    • TBH I have never been that taken with the beemers, either the old air cooled twins or the K series.

      Bikes that are actually an awful lot better than their reputations would lead you to believe and are pretty cheap include yam xv535, honda cx500, the new enfield india 500’s, honda cg125 twin, suzi dr500, yam sr500, old guzzi 750, always had a soft spot for pre-unit triumph 500’s and the norton jampots too, but again we are talking silly money now.

      Newer, I’d look very seriously at the suzy savage / s40 series

      Comment by wimminz — April 15, 2014 @ 11:41 pm

  2. http://thesoulisnotasmithy.blogspot.co.uk/ Ever read this bloke’s blog? Gets it right on goddamn everything.

    Comment by Digger Nick — April 18, 2014 @ 10:42 am

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