Diminishing returns

Shooting the shit with a co-employee while we cooled our heels on the clock, waiting for someone else in the supply chain to get their finger out so we could complete our jobs and GTFO.

Got around to overtime, and why I almost never do it, by the time overtime comes along, you already used your tax free allowance on your basic wage, so for example is the tax rate is 45% and you basic pay is $10 an hour and the company pays overtime at time and a half….

… a lot of guys start thinking 1.5 x 10 = 15 bucks and hour, but since the whole of that 15 bucks an hour is taxed at 45% you actually get 8.25 an hour to take home.

In other words each additional hour you work is a case of diminishing returns, the sweet hours were from when you started the day at 9 until mid morning, still on the tax free bit of your tax allowance (I know, it doesn’t actually work like that, but bear with me) where your hourly rate = your take home rate.

So this is why when I look at my monthly, it usually has around 3 to 8 hours of overtime, and the total extra money I am paid for those hours after tax is sweet fuck all.

But you have to remember, I am debt free, so I can do this and look at life this way.

Wimminz be the same, after the first fuck, which may have cost you a couple of drinks, everything else is diminishing returns.

And this is for s debt free guy, for the indebted guy it is much much worse, he can neither quit the job nor refuse the overtime.

Yesterday I got a call at 4:30, would I mind doing some overtime, a hotel site 50 miles away was hard down, now as I suspected the problem wasn’t fixable by me because it wasn’t the router, it was the line, and within 5 minutes of arriving I’m logged in and the IOS command show dsl interface atm0 tells you all about the line, signal which should be a high number is hovering around 6 dB, and attenuation which should be a low number is hovering around 50 dB, the kit is detecting the xdsl carrier and getting a lock, but that’s it, I tell the guy on the other end of the phone it is a line fault.

Of course, they don’t wanna know that, because it means escalating it and making an expensive and time consuming extra step in the escalation process to call a British Telecom line engineer out, so I spend 2 hours chilling and doing occasional other tests like swapping out the router for a new one and swapping out cables and shit…… and 2 hours later with all new cables and an all new router we are sat there with a carrier detect and 6 dB snr and 50 dB attenuation, and now they listen to me and book a line engineer.

Now money wise that is an hour to get there, two hours fucking around onsite, and an our back, half of which goes to the taxman, so, not worth it, but daddy didn’t raise no dumbass.

The job wasn’t too long to ruin my evening, but, it was long enough to qualify for expenses, so I was entitled to claim for supper, which I did, a nice sit down fish supper at a restaurant, and unlike my taxed overtime, every last red cent of that bill was picked up by the company, and since I had to eat anyway, in effect that got me tax free double time, now THAT is worth it.

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I have occasional longer dalliances with wimminz, mini relationshits if you will, and I use the same logic, and make a point of acting like a 70’s wimminz pop star, “I know you say you love me, but what have you done for me lately bitch” in the sense I only take on that OPTIONAL overtime if it suits me and is to my direct advantage.

I make it very clear to the wimminz in question that as soon as we hit the point of diminishing returns then rain stops play and I sit at home with my feet up.

My employer, like wimminz, appreciates my attitude and appreciates me, when they ring up with an overtime job they know they have to sell it to me, start by giving me all the job details up front, not just do you want some overtime in 90210 zip…

And if I say yeah I’ll do it they thank me up front, and I say no problem, because if it was the slightest fucking problem, I wouldn’t be doing it, and we both know that.

I want to digress slightly, something related.

My job, I’m a field engineer, I almost never see a fellow employee, my interaction with my bosses and HQ is via electronic means or phone call. Electronic means is usually an electronic diary, with brief job description.

Everything else is self discipline. Nobody is watching, nobody is checking, nobody will physically see.

It is up to me to get up in time, wash, shave, put on a shirt and tie, make sure I have the shit I need to do the job, and get my ass to site for the appointed time.

The only thing keeping me honest is me.

To the extent that the squeaky wheel gets all the oil, I get none, we are supposed to have 12 weekly face to face with line managers and all kinds of shit, I saw mine once back in March or April, which suits me fine…

I say they love me, they clearly don’t, but neither do they go “Oh fuck, what now?” when a message with my name in it pops up.

I’m easy and reliable and trustworthy and predictable.

Micromanage me and my ass is dust.

Sure, it’s not easy finding an employer my attitude and approach will fly with, but I figure neither is it easy to find an employee who can go months without any supervision of any kind and still turn up able to pass a surprise inspection.

It’s not easy finding a wimminz my attitude and approach will fly with, but I figure neither is it easy for them to find a man in a world of niggerz, so if you wanna play, you gotta pay.

My crib, at the moment, is a shit pit, so don’t get the idea that the self discipline I am talking about is some OCD trip, nor do I want to give you the impression I’m gung ho for all the corporate team building shit, I flatly fucking ignore everything that is not 100% related to my actual job, I unapologetically use spam filters for the internal corporate emails, everything automated and designed to make lacklustre employees do their job is sent straight to trash, this is against company policy and the corporate IT bod, who is not a friend of mine as we have locked horns a couple times over the pathetic corporate policy on password complexity and frequency of change, the OCD 30’s IT head telling me he knew all about my objections to the policy and touting his resume as part of the attempted put down, me saying yeah, the only factor you are missing here is people… duh… despite this, and them having full access to and control of my corporate laptop every time it goes on-line, not a fucking word is said, but then again neither is anything said about using my company laptop for personal use, because I don’t, ever, not even once.

Whenever one of the bods in the office has to call me on the company phone about a job, they are always greeted by a cheerful happy voice, because I am cheerful and happy, because I don’t give a flying fuck, I do my job, I enjoy my job, there are no inducements that they can offer or threaten with that will make me change, I’ll walk.

I’m the same with wimminz.

The self discipline doesn’t mean I am Captain Save-a-ho, I am chock fucking full of mother-fucking flaws and shortcomings, but I am here because I enjoy it and because it is fun, and the instant you try to change that bitch, I’m done here.

The law of diminishing returns does not apply to your cunt / ass / mouth, my self discipline ensures that it is either all gravy, or all history.