Wimminz – celebrating skank ho's everywhere

September 7, 2015

The Night Train keeps on runnin’

Filed under: Wimminz — wimminz @ 12:43 pm

(lyric from Laid Back – “Bakerman”)

Well it’s been a funny old year, not that it’s over yet, but whereas a year or two ago I was in a distinct minority with my doom and gloom predictions about the economy and society, nowadays almost nobody who lives outside London does anything much other than purse their lips and tilt their head sideways, and then relate a little snippet from their own lives that kinda supports what I have been saying.

The latest one of note was a guy I know vaguely with a bike shop, included in his current stock of used bikes are a couple of clean late model twin cam harleys, both very clean, very low miles, going for around 9k, but in both cases the previous owners have managed to throw around 30k in extras at them, which isn’t that hard if you’re really determined.

So you’re looking at guys that have paid 15-20k for a bike, thrown another 30k at them to bring the total investment to 45-50k (and we’re talking pounds sterling here, not yuan) here, and then sold it to a dealer for 7.5k, so HE can sell it for 9k, so THEY have 7.5k cash which is more than the HD dealer will give you as a trade in on your no longer factory 2006 HD when you buy a ’15 model…

… and this dealer is worried, because there are yet more rules and regulations coming down the pipe from the FSA (Financial Services Authority) all of which make it even harder to get credit, to the point where the self employed won’t even get a mortgage, not unless you have something like 90% deposit.

Credit cards are a crap shoot, because the banks insist he has a merchant services account, which means ALL chargebacks get taken back from HIM, no matter how diligent he was…

… got to the point where the only way he can sell a bike on plastic is to have the cardholder turn up in person with every bit of ID imaginable and a whole bunch of household utility bills to boot, and they all better show the same name and address details, EXACTLY the same, no “John Q Smith” on one and ” J Q Smith” on another.

Cash sales, he gets a few, but not many of them about, it’s still finance city, and lots more apply than get, and it’s no longer much of a sweet deal for the dealer in commission terms.

I’m on my third and I strongly suspect last HD, I took advantage of the afore-mentioned type of modern HD buyer, the garage queen with 200 miles a year put on it and 2x the purchase price spent on engine mods, guy built himself a bike with dyno bragging rights, but ended up with a bike that he could no longer handle, and besides (I’m guessing here) those 2009 new model range rides look so schweeet… lol.

Rich boys toys…20150829_155438sml

Time was, you chucked money at HD because unless you stuffed it into a wall, you could pretty much always get your money back… pretty much.

You do the math on some of these things though, and you find owners who are spending UK£ 2.00+ per MILE on the odometer, and that is insane shit for a fucking production motorcycle… when I bought the current ride I put more miles on it in the first week than the previous / original owner had in five fucking years, yet he had also thrown so much money and engine mods at it that it no longer fitted in the category with Malcolm’s bikes.

I met Malcolm briefly years ago, a mutual acquaintance introduced us, me as someone who could help Martin recommission a harley that had been put into storage.

When I get there there is a mint 5 year old Electra-glide in the middle of the big double garage, with less than 2 miles on the odometer, and never registered.

There are also four other large lumps covered by tarps and blankets along the back wall.

Turned out about 5 years previously Martin’s folks had died, and he got left a lump sum, he hummed and haah’ed about how to invest this cash for a bit, and ended up at a certain man dealer in London, where he bought five brand new unregistered Electra-glides, which is decommissioned for storage and left in the back of the garage.

Need some cash?

Pull one of the bikes out and sell it, brand new old stock.

He actually sold that one for MORE than he paid for it, in strict pound notes terms (inflation excluded) because there is always some asshole who will buy a no longer available from the factory but brand spanking new unused and unregistered model.

I haven’t seen Malc for ten years or more, so at that rate he still has two left, and I hate to think what a patient man could get in the age of the internet and world wide markets for a brand new unused unregistered never ridden 1999 Evo engined FL’s… I know it’s going to be a LOT more than the 7.5k each he paid…. he got 11k for the one I was involved in, not a bad appreciation after only 5 years.

But there is the thing, unless it is a tool of some sort, an asset is not a thing that you use, and if you use it, unless it is a tool of some sort, it is not an asset.

I can argue that the laser and the harley cost similar amounts of money, only one of them earns money…. a second harley would not earn me any money (if I rode it) and a second laser would not earn me any more money, as the one I have is not in use 24/7.

Put the money in the bank? Yeah, that worked well in Greece and Cyprus and other places… no thanks.

Somewhere between the time I met Malc and now, I met another guy, he took a different route, life was going to shit, divorce coming up, asset forfeiture and all that, so he went out and maxed all his credit cards and bought a brand new harley, then sold it for a quid to a mate, who sold it for a quid to another mate, who sold it for a quid to another mate, who sold it to the first guy again for a quid… which means nobody can re-po it… fuck it, he was gonna lose everything anyway, might as well come out of it smiling on two wheels.20150906_193010

His attitude was like mine, you buy it to keep it and to ride it, not a garage queen, not an overclocked dyno diva, not a supposed “investment”, not a big boys toy, born again mid life crisis, or anything else.

I always had this thing, you know, the guy is there showing off his latest mega super crotch rocket, I’d lean in and ask what was wrong with the rest of the rear tyre, that he was only using the middle bit…. LRFH

Second pic on the right is my rear tyre (first pic is the bike itself, can’t believe I haven’t mentioned this bike before on here — strange shit, you know you have done something, because you “must have” and then you check, and find no, you never did…) so if I can use 95% of the tread width on an old harley y’all got no fucking excuse on your modern jap superbikes.


I just made a coffee, re-read all this, and realised that the point I was trying to make, I have talked around a lot, but haven’t actually touched on once.

The point is that a thing is what it actually is, and indeed what it actually is may vary from one individual to another, and then there is how that thing is perceived, and indeed this too may vary from one individual to another.

Your “awesome harley cruiser” may be a “blinged up garage queen POS” to me, (and vice versa) and really, that’s just a matter of taste, and you are entitled to your own choices and tastes as I am.

However, your “investment” or “asset” may not be mine, and vice versa.

The guys up above who blinged 45k on bikes that they sold within a couple of years for 7.5k could take up yacht ownership for example, it’s a similar financial experience.

The problem starts when someone starts selling yachts and harleys and whatever else, as an “asset” or an “investment”, and when others start buying them as such.

it’s all great stuff until it comes to “mark to market” time, or selling time, and you actually make a sale.

One of those 45k spent but sold for 7.5k bikes had 3.5k of custom paint on it, he’d probably have gotten 8.25k from the dealer if it had had factory stock paint on it… that’s a bitch.

Not as big a bitch as a guy who just got burned to the tune of 37k for 5 years of harley ownership (and 300 miles of “riding” a year) who THEN TURNS AROUND AND USES THE REMAINDER of his mark to market “investment” to buy another brand new harley and start off all over again…

… or a yacht….

…. or stocks and bonds….





So the dealer who started this all off, he got no long term plans, he’d love to keep and grow the business, but he knows it’s moving goalposts as far as the FSA and other things are concerned, and you can only get late model clean as fuck low mileage garage queens as long as the supply stays available, and that is your shop’s USP… so enjoy it while you can, make money while the sun shines, and be prepared to bail when the seasons change.

Me, well I’ll be happy to keep this bike to the day I die, or until I get too old to ride, so it’s pretty much never going to get marked to market (sold), so the longer I keep and ride it and the more miles it does, the better the value from the fiat currency that was exchanged for ownership of it.

It’s like the laser, the residual value is already $0.00, because I got no intentions of selling, ever… it doesn’t cost money in HP or interest, just daily usage and routine maintenance and consumables.

If you buy something with no intention of ever selling it, that thing itself becomes substantially different from buying a thing that you may one day want to or need to sell.

If you buy a house for LIFE to die and get buried in it, it’s different to buying a house that you may want to sell, to upsize, or downsize, or just move for work.1073

We, as a species, have a VASTLY greater “turnover” in ownership of things than we used to when I was a lad, typically back then people would buy one house, maybe two, in a lifetime.

A car or motorcycle would be bought and kept for ten or more years.

A stereo the same.

Hell, my old man died in the early 90’s with pairs of shoes (that were still good) that were bought new in the very early ’70’s, I’m sitting here in a one year old pair of trainers that are on their last legs and need replacing.

To many people, I’m sitting on an old, thirteen year old, obsolete, out of date harley.

To me, I’m sitting on one that is THIRTY FIVE FUCKING YEARS YOUNGER than my last one. (last pic above)

I don’t *care* what value you place on it, any more than I *care* what value you place on the current / latest squeeze (9 months so far and going strong) because they both give me exactly what I want every single day of ownership, I’m not investing and hoping for some future gains, I’m already getting so much out that every day is another win win day.


August 1, 2015

Things are tough all over, hacking life…

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: — wimminz @ 1:12 pm

Unconnected snippets.. my company car, the leasing company is so tight they only change one front tyre, the other one has tread left, so the flat tyre sensors which basically count wheel revolutions via the ABS system see one wheel with a circumference 36 mm greater than the other, and insist there is a flat.

Quite apart from safety issues, it’s a fucked up way to save a few bucks, but like all systems, it is a system that can be hacked, come Monday morning the tyre with some tread left is going to meet my cordless drill and have a nail inserted right near the sidewall, where punctures can’t be fixed.

This is and always was the essential definition of hacking, making a system that is not designed to do what you want it to do, do what you want it to do.

Hitlery Clinton does it, when internal email systems are backed up and archived, and as Snap sang in I’ve Got the Power, if “you don’t want that” then you just use a different email system.

Work send me an email with a load of shitty attachments that I’m supposed to print and scan and send back so some third party outsourced mofo can do some security screening so I can be sent on some bullshit jobs, no fucking problem, when they ask where they are and chase me up I just tell the HR bitch straight, my fucking scanner is dead…. *they* have no intention of all the employees posting *them* hardcopy that *they* then have to scan in and save to pdf and yadda yadda yadda… this is all about externalising effort, and you hack that by making it not work in ways that aren’t even mentioned in my employment contract, much less are enforceable… what’s that, I must own a fucking scanner that can scan to pdf?   Sure, buy me one, bastards.

When / if they offer to buy me one, it better have linux drivers, or if they find one with linux drivers it better have BeOS drivers, or if they find one it better have … you get the picture.

Monkeys tend to find common solutions to common problems, when a co-worker tell me about how he deals with the fact that HQ ships routers and switches without any patch leads of rack/cage nuts in the box, he says “I steal everything spare from every site I go to” so he has enough when HQ ships a box without… (don’t even go there about asking for this shit from HQ) .. of course he isn’t the only one, *everyone* does it, which is why two things are a fact.

1/ No site has spare patch leads or cage nuts

2/ No box is ever shipped with patch leads or cage nuts

Because between the two, as HQ knows, the job still gets done, and they save 99 cents a box in parts, and don’t get me fucking started on stereotypes, IF the fucking place has a resident IT guy they will come in one of four fucking flavours, all variations on the dress like jesus / stallman / west coast hipster / apple fag meme, and they can all go and fuck themselves because none of them are capable of maintaining a decent tidy fucking rack with patch leads all labelled up and a network map on the doors, and if you can’t do that, then ya ain’t shit, no matter how fucking leeet you think you are.

*EVERYONE* no fucking exceptions, has learned one lesson and one lesson only, and that lesson is that I only care about the particular box or system I am working on, I don’t give a fuck about anything else or the system as a whole, outside of any I/O between said system and the particular box or system I am working on.

It’s the monkey thing above stealing patch cables and cage nuts from one job so you can do the next one, it’s also known as the tragedy of the commons, and it is why everything is getting creakier and less stable.

At work we have what we used to call an “asshole creeper”, after every job he rings the fucking skanky wimminz engineering die-rectum-or to inform the bitch that he has done the job and everything is cool, as a result, he is constantly getting high fived by her to the rest of the engineering team , why can’t ya’ll be like my boy Cleetus here…. now Cleetus himself, he ain’t that good, to be fair, he ain’t that bad either, just the usual slap dash could do it better if he tried but more interested in looking good than doing good shit… but, what Cleetis is, is someone who is conforming EXACTLY to the corporate environment and climbing that ladder mercilessly, and playing the skanky wimminz engineering chief ho at her own game, and winning handsomely.

Meanwhile there are guys like myself, and “Tom” and “Dick” and “Harry”, older guys, more old school, unlike Cleetus, we have NEVER taken a customer’s network hard down accidentally, and we feel no need to report directly to the skank ho chief every time we do what it says on the tin, so we get wholly ignored in the monthly high five lists, which, is exactly the way we want it, it is now a point of honour.

There is an unofficial competition between us to be the last one to get an honourable mention in the monthly missive, my scanner being dead should keep me safely behind the pack for the next month or three.

Another one is my policy of only ever replying to corporate emails that are addressed to me personally and me only, send something to the “#old farts engineering group” and I ignore it… officially at least…

So on to domestic bliss, and the wimminz wot I are fucking lately, which it has to be said (cue cries of oh noes, he done gone git cunt struck) is basically the same bitch, but she is a good bitch, and my bitch, and for all her plus points, there are some things that will forever show the differences between men and wimminz and niggerz.

So, me being a romantic old fool, I go and buy the bitch a nice new pink upright vacuum cleaner, colour aside it does the job really well, and the colour means I never have to touch it, and she for her part bought me a nice german wet and dry vac for the workshop, which I like.. lots.

So, back to the pink upright, I have told her, several times, never ever ever use it on anything except hard floors or fitted carpets, never use it on the loose carpet lying around, cheapo trailer park rug style, on the hard floors, because it sucks the edges up and wraps the carpet threads around the brush and then the brush jams and 2 seconds later the belt has burnt through, which it is supposed to do to save the motor.

Took her a week to burn through the belt it came with, so she orders two more, I fit one, and a week later she gets through another belt, this time on a boot lace.

I fit the last spare, warning her that this machine is made of plastic, and never intended to be taken apart and reassembled this often, and so two days ago she goes back over the loose carpet and does it again.

Two more spare belts to be ordered by her at her expense.


This is the essential difference between men and wimminz and niggerz, they are not capable of learning from small mistakes and experiences, and then act all surprised when the big one blows up in their face, and the writing was on the wall for months.

The corporate day job, same shit, a company populated by wimminz and niggerz mainly, the only men left are we happy few pushed out to the fringes and largely ignored field engineers, who never grace HQ with our saintly presence.

We don’t steal patch cables and cage nuts from one job to do the next because we are trying to get the job done and make the customer and our employer happy, we do it because life is too short to waste any of it on the ball ache that is trying to talk to HQ and get shit sorted.

In my own private business, she (her indoors) was recently surprised, I had to show her the workings, which were that I have had a couple of what I class as “corporate” enquiries, so naturally I padded everything by 25% and gave them an estimate, not a quote, but a firm estimate and explained how it came about to the customer.

Quelle surprise, when these dweebs both come back to me with the only thing corporate middle men do, which is fuck all to do with spec or the product or anything else, suck teeth and say everything is great, except the PRICE…. see, to sell this to the customer / end user I’m going to have to get some discount.

So I play the corporate bollocks game and make nice noises about collaboration and working together and partnership, tell you what boys, because I have a great relationship with *my* material suppliers I can get you 18% off the materials and by changing the design *this* way (making it 7.5% smaller and therefore 7.5% faster / cheaper to make) I can cut 6% off my machine time.

Nice one, they have achieved their sole objective, now they are talking about samples, purchase order for one, provided it is good enough (the only point at which the product actually fucking matters) then it’s a pleasure to do business with you, cos you make me look good buddy.

Her indoors, being a wimminz, assumed that I’d be cutting back on MY slice of the cake to get the order.

I explained that that was not an option, my laser, my prices, my way or highway, but, the upside to being wise to the wimminz and niggerz in corporate land, and playing on the fact that nobody can do basic math any more….

Say the thing you want doing is a sign 500 x 500 mm, and I charge / quote you 10.00 bucks to do that thing, ex materials, and 10.00 bucks for the materials

Then you come back to me and say that shit is too expensive, can you cut it back some? You don’t mind tweaking the design, maybe making it a bit smaller, it just has to be cheaper, 20 bucks a pop is just too much, we are looking for closer to 16 bucks a pop.

OK, well how about we make it 10% smaller? 450 x 450 mm, that do you?

Oh yes please, gimme a sample.

Well, 50 x 50 cm = 2500 cm/squared, and 45 x 45 cm = 2,025 cm/squared.

2,500 / 2,025 = 1.2345etc so y’all got a 23% reduction in material area and therefore cost right there.

And the machining time, quelle suprise, that is a fairly constant thing, in terms of square centimetres per second, sure, I BILL YOU in machine time per minute, but that’s just marketing… so a 23% reduction in area also means a 23% reduction in machine time, and machine time is where I make my fucking money, so between the 23% saving in material, and the extra 10% saving I make between what I buy the material for and what I originally quoted you in price per square meter, I can actually RAISE my effective machine time per minute rate, because you are asking for a piecework rate.

Some cunt offered ME a house for 100, 000 bucks I’d tell them to fuck off.

If they then turn around and say tell you what, that house is pretty big and grand in every dimension, big rooms, high ceilings, you’re only 1.75 metres tall, who needs 2.5 metre high ceilings, how about we shrink it all by 10%, so for example your ceilings will be 2.25 metres high?

Well, 10% off is every dimension x 0.9, and since a house is a three dimensional item, 0.9 x 0.9 x 0.9 = 0.729, so you could sell me that scaled down house for 75,000 bucks, and make MORE profit than the full size one at 100,000 (assuming construction cost scaled linearly.. it doesn’t, the savings are actually better than that)

The new eco box houses with gardens the size of a hanky are HUGELY profitable, compared to a standard 1930’s style family house, it’s a marketing lie to say they are both 3 bedroom houses and the 1930’s one at 300,000 is too expensive but the new eco box at 175,000 is a bargain, the fucking eco box should be 50,000 if that.

It was the same back in the engineering days, irrespective, pretty much, of size or scale or capacity, one 4 cylinder engine block cost the same to make as another, and half as much as an 8 cylinder.

Yet, engines were priced on capacity, the Honda 400/4 engine cost the same to make as the 750/4, the c90 single cost 1/4 as much, but the 750/4 cost more than the 400/4 because it was BIGGER.

I used to ride harleys, shovelheads and the odd panhead or flathead, could never afford a knuck, which were cool at the time, and frankly speaking the 74 cubic inch / 1200 cc engine was big enough for any cunt.

Now you can buy 1600 HD and 1800 and bigger jap clones, the engines are still twins, so cost no more to make than an “old” 74 cube, and the sole “advantage” is bigger is better, especially on the price tag, … I know, I rode early 100 cube stroker S&S Harleys, they were in every way inferior to the 74 cube engine, if you only care about it being an actual motorcycle engine that does nothing but power a motorcycle, and ignore the penis envy shit, torque figures you can’t ever use, etc etc etc

Out back I’ve got a lowly 1,000 cc v twin, it’s been in bits for years, but frankly speaking even if it wasn’t, it is “enough” for a motorcycle engine… if it isn’t, then adding cubes is NOT the answer, you need to start subtracting something else, probably the asshole lard quotient.

I came into this piece with hacking life, and that all gets a lot easier if you keep your scope small and compact and lean and mean, back in the harley days I used to do a lot of FT (foreign touring) and camping, and camping on a motorcycle means a COMPACT and lightweight 2 man tent, a thin but good ground pad for under your bag, and a good quality compact sleeping bag, THAT WAS IT as far as environmental shelter and shit went, none of this shit about need a bigger tent.

You can still, just, buy some good old school shit.

If you don’t have one of these, buy one now…. as for personal recommendations, I’m only on my second one in 30 years.

July 14, 2015

Signs and portents

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: , — wimminz @ 10:25 am

I see them everywhere, but then again, so does everyone else, it’s pattern matching, what lets us see shapes in clouds.

I also see that some time in the past several years I’ve gone fucking gray, and I’m not talking the odd gray hair here and there, I’m talking most of them seem to be gray, my fucking chest hair is largely gray, my beard stubble is largely gray, my fucking pubes are growing out gray.

Over the same time period my skin, notably on my face, has gone from youthful and smooth (fnaar fnaar) to leathery Charles Bronson spent too long in the sun squinting down the sights motherfucker TEXTURED shit… don’t mean lines, mean texture…. what the fuck..lol

So, I guess it’s official and undeniable, the telomeres have spoken, y’all ain’t no spring chicken no more.

Someone said some years ago that the markets can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent, but looking at the ongoing Greek fiasco and the state of economies and so forth makes me think, irrational exuberance is just as looney tunes as irrational panic.

Markets and politics and shit today seems to have more in common with reddit memes and popularity than anything even remotely related to real world shit, but surreal shit is getting ever more surreal.

In the day gig it seems we as a company have lost a lot of competent and experienced engineers, they have quit and moved on to pastures new, probably bored with being paid peanuts, I guess the inference being that since I haven’t quit I’m not that competent or experienced…lol.. I certainly never get mentioned in the monthly shouts to all the high fives above and beyond teacher’s pet accolades via email from da management..

… but today I notice one of my oppo’s has a meeting scheduled with the department heads and some apprentices, first I fucking heard of it, so someone somewhere clearly made a policy decision to keep yours truly well away from the fucking apprentices… can’t say they were wrong…lol

Meanwhile back at the laser shit, yeah, I could make a living at that shit now, it’s picked up organically and sans any kind of promotion or effort outside of a website, to the point where it could just about keep me alive… so considering it’s been only nine months since I bought the bitch and haven’t really pushed it in any way… a pleasant surprise.

It’s also been a couple of months for the silverstone nas box / asus h81i / wd red 6tb / stablebit drivepool / win 8.1 nas box, and I am having to admit that in every way it is exceeding my expectations, lovely little bit of kit… bear in mind the day job involves dealing with all sorts of corporate IT, not just routers and switches but also servers and storage kit, some of it very high end and very fucking expensive, and that shit just ain’t *that* much better, if at all, save for variations around the fact that it has to support many more users, which in itself has problems with added complexity and therefore reduced reliability.anonymised

The shit I am seeing in the corporate world is symptomatic of the decline.

Going to jobs where the network ain’t working because some cunt has done the BYOD day thing and plugged a cheap shit router into the network, which promptly starts broadcasting DHCP addresses to everyone one else on the network, in competition with the separate range DHCP advertised by the corporate router.

Going to jobs where teh (sic) switches are pegged at 99% CPU utilisation because (see pic) some cunt in patch cable hell has managed to path in a hard loopback between devices in the rack where there should be none, or where every port is patched in and the fact is the device itself is now working at capacity because nobody has any notions of bandwidth management per application type etc.. I mean, we all really fucking NEED rich text email and shit, with massive boilerplate sigs full of corporate branding images and other bullshit.

I just sent a fucking email to myself, from my corporate account to a personal one, I used a while fucking EIGHT BYTES for the subject and message body, the rest was “blank” or as blank as the boilerplate templates allow, and I didn’t even use any fancy fonts or font colours or anything, and what landed was a fucking whopping 236,909 bytes in size.


At 9,600 bps and allowing a 15% overhead for transmission protocols 260599.9 / 9600 = 27.14582291666667 —— so 30 seconds to send on an early modem, and the rule then was if your fucking corporate web page took more than 15 seconds to fully load you were fucked and drowned.

Fuck me I have a copy of my entire business website from 1999, multiple pages, sections, downloads and all sorts, and the entire fucking website is 1.9 mb, I really splurged out with a very fancy and bling bling logo that was 27,256 bytes, with a snazzy background texture that was a whopping 6,263 bytes and a home page html document that was a bloated 6,754 bytes, and I can remember agonising at the time whether it was all a bit too “fat”…

You want to know one of the most useful tools in my bag when I go to one of these places to do any work?

1″ masking tape.

I can label every patch lead end individually, I have to, because there is no network map and no colour coding and no cable labelling or marking of any kind, none, nada, zip, zero, zilch…

And I’m the only cunt in my company that carries masking tape…. and we are industry leaders… but keep me away from those fucking apprentices at all costs eh, might corrupt the poor bastards…

be afraid, be very very very fucking afraid.


July 11, 2015

Pull my finger

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: , — wimminz @ 11:39 am

I see this in the day job, in my private life, everywhere I look…

*this* being the “I have done enough, I cannot be expected to do any more” attitude, the flip side of which is “The system is still functioning, therefore I can push it harder and get more out of it“.

It applies everywhere, from the mundane and humdrum details of everyday life and such basics as paying for utilities, to international geopolitics, and everything in between.

It’s an attitude fostered by a generation (or two) who have never witnessed, personally, and up close, what happens when the system in question destabilises and ceases to function.

Let me give you some examples.

In my private life I live in rented accommodations, my electric utility is provided by a large utility company that supplies the building, they have my name because when I moved in three years ago the landlord’s agents gave them my name.

Like all utilities, there is a meter for this electric as it enters the property, from there it goes to two coin operated put-a-coin-in-and-pay-for-your-electric-in-advance meters installed by the landlord / his agents the rental company, one for each section / floor / tenant.

So when the utility company threatens me with court action to enter my home and seize my shit and install a coin meter because *I* owe then 1200 bucks, *I* turn around and tell the rental company “not my fucking problemo, I already paid for all my electric in cash up front in the meter, which YOU empty… but, it’s gonna be YOURS in 7 days if this isn’t sorted, cos I’ll issue a writ

Any same person would think this would get it sorted, because who needs or wants to be party to a lawsuit, especially an unwinnable one like this.

Naturally enough we must all be insane, because that’s what I’m 48 hours away from having to do, and no likelihood of a last minute resolution.

Expecting the other guy to blink first when you threaten them doesn’t tend to end cleanly when the other guy is too fucking retarded and incompetent to blink, they are too busy breathing through their mouth and watching “ow my balls”….

The landlords agents, (the landlord) the utility company and the utility company’s appointed debt collectors do not see the simple fact that I have and have always had a pre-payment coin meter as a MAJOR fucking problem for them all, there are 1200 bucks missing from the system and this is the hammer we always use on all these nails and we are TRYING to help but really, our hands are tied, and frankly, you’re not helping us to help you, you need to do this and this and this and then I’m sure we will eventually get this all sorted out.

So I get to issue a writ, and I’ll take the shotgun approach and name all of the above, and sue them for protection from harassment and for enforcement of my legal right to the peaceful enjoyment of my own home and for protection from threats of bailiffs seeking monies that I do not owe, and I take the shotgun approach and name them all, as otherwise there will be squirming and finger pointing at whoever is NOT named as being the guilty party.

Given that I have always paid in cash in advance for my electric via the advance payments meters installed by the landlord / rental agency, given that the agency has admitted in writing that I clearly have paid for all my utilities and clearly am not in arrears and clearly do not owe anything, given that the law states that any course of action that comprises two or more consecutive incidents can be classed as harassment and I’m being phoned daily by the debt collectors, given that the law guarantees a tenant the right to peaceful enjoyment of their own home while the bills and rent are paid up, it’s about as cast iron slam dunk a lawsuit as you can get.

That is the kind of lawsuit I like, and the only kind I bother with, the legal equivalent of put them all in a field and bomb the bastards and let god sort it out, or in this case, the presiding judge.

Of course, despite my urging these people to talk to their legal teams some days ago, the legal teams will only SEE any of this shit when the writ lands on their doorsteps, at which case the shit will hit the fan, and everyone will try to limit liability, which is tough when it is plain for all to see that there is plenty of liability to go around, and the plaintiff in the case really is the only innocent party.

It’s a slam dunk, so it’s a no brainer for the judge to order the utility company and the utility companies bailiffs to stop harassing me and to remove any records on their system saying I owe them any monies… and for the lettings agency to adhere to the law and enable me to live in the peaceful enjoyment of my own home… and so on…

But who will get sacked?

Nobody, of course.

Nobody at all.

You can’t sack people for breathing through their mouth when the entire fucking culture for the past 30+ years has been to hire people who breathe through their mouth and throw every other fucker under the bus.

So while I might well get my individual situation remedied, the culture remains the same.

And that, of course, is no accident.

The Dice guy in the video above does another one, JFK was shot yesterday, and another one, Oswald shot Jesus in the 1300’s, and so on, and so on.

The problem is, I’m now getting old enough, it’s not just the fucking proles that are retarded, it’s spread upwards like osmosis and now most of our so called pillars of society like engineers and doctors and lawyers and judges and bank managers and cops and managers and entrepreneurs and so on are also fucking retarded.

The working title of the Enron documentary was “The smartest guys in the room”, and it really isn’t that hard to be the smartest guy in the room any more, and it doesn’t really matter what the room is, or where it is, or how big it is, or what purpose it serves.

There is a line in Cisco configuration files, it comes towards the end of the config (bear in mind, I’m not cisco qualified or certified or any of that shit, I just do this shit day in…) and it deals with line vty 0 4

line vty 0 4 is what you telnet into from a remote location.

A typical one will look like this.

line vty 0 4
privilege level 15
password 7 (passphrase)
login local
transport input all

Two ways to break it are to insert a line about access-lists near the top, because of course the remote admin trying to get in is never included in the access-list, and changing the last line to “ssh” or “none” instead of “all”

Yet, so far in 2015 all I am getting is going to sites with preconfigured routers that have such errors, or being given configurations to fix things that have such errors, all of which mean that the problem I was sent to fix, remote admin not being able to access the router, don’t get fixed, unless I exceed my culture and fix it.

Of course, one the the things about cisco is this…. any change I make to the config of a running router stays in the volatile RAM ONLY, until and unless I do the “write memory” command to write the currently running config to nvram where it becomes the startup config.

The not so recent case of the american municipal sysadmin who was up on hacking charges, well basically you can put the config in RAM only and never write it to nvram, so when someone local to the router restarts the router to bypass the login credentials, what reboots is a blank box.

I had this discussion with a very qualified cisco guy yesterday, he was bemoaning and deriding draytek kit, which I like and rate and use myself, particularly, he was saying it’s shit on draytek because every-time you make a config change the draytek insists on a reboot.

He-ll-ooo I said to him, this is DELIBERATE, so it’s not a sign that draytek kit is shit, it is a sign that draytek makers knows users, and that includes network admins, are now shit.

Yes, it means you cannot experiment on a live fucking system and not use the wr mem command and end up locking yourself out, and not panicking, because all you have to do is ring the client and ask them to power cycle the router, because it will then reload discarding all those changes and you are back where you started.

It means if you lock yourself out you’re locked out until someone with local physical access changes shit, no more hiding, and you think this is a bad thing?

Draytek also go the “non human readable binary blob” config file route, not the human readable text file cisco route, so no password recovery, you factory reset the bastard to a blank box, and again, you think this is a bad thing?

Physical access to a cisco = root, so the only way to get any security is do what matey did in the states, and many still do, never write the config to nvram, because the only way to do that is in plain text.

Physical access to a draytek = the ability to factory reset it… and even if you manage to extract a config file from an archive somewhere or email attachment, it’s a binary blob, not human readable.

Cisco IOS of course came from an era when the people designing it assumed that the people using it would not be fucking retards, which is why cisco shit is so fucked up in 2015 in real life, too many fucking retards with “enable” access.

Draytek comes from the modern era, when the people designing it assume that the people using it will be fucking retards, you don’t get to fix shit on the fly, you get a more binary experience, that shit is either right, or it isn’t.

Draytek *know* that their shit is “edge” stuff, not “core” stuff, so they know physical security will be minimal at best, cisco don’t care, core or edge, it all assumes there is good physical security, and if there isn’t, which there never is at the edge at a user’s premises, mm, well, too bad.

The old school *assumes* that there is a network in place, which you can then use to tweak and fix and configure said network, draytek stuff *will* do that, after a fashion, but mainly it is built around the idea that you do not use the network to tweak and fix and configure said network, you either have a local guy on site set up the config manually, or you ship a binary config blob, or you ship pre-configured, and pre-configured better be right, or else.

It’s like using railways to build and maintain railways, vs using service roads built along side railways to build and maintain railways.

Guess which model my utility bill conundrum fits into, using modern management and procedure and accounting methods to build and maintain modern management and procedure and accounting methods, or having a back service channel that only ever gets used for “whoa, this guy is already on a prepaid meter, we need to pull this out of the management system where it will just loop around flowcharts until the dude drags us all into court, before this guys drags us all into court….”

June 29, 2015

Greek Roundabouts and Swingers

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: , , — wimminz @ 12:30 pm

So, while still being a recidivist misogynist bastard, I got a regular squeeze that often stays over, so this morning as she is off to work and I have a later start, she comes back to the bedroom after getting washed and dressed and ready to leave, and gives me a morning blow-job.

You literally can’t get that morning blow-job if you are hard-line MGTOW and kick the skank out at midnite after emptying your balls into her….

***irrespective*** of the merits or perils of being hardline MGTOW or having the bitch stay overnight, the significant factor here is you can’t get the morning blowjob if you kick her out at midnight and retire to your bed alone.

It’s 100% either or.

Greece (and most of the rest of the western world) is like that, or at least it is as soon as you stop with the bullshit and delusions and live now pay later kick the can down the road defer the bill as long as fucking possible while still stuffing your face at the all you can eat buffet.

Once the music stops and the light go up it’s back to reality, and either or.

But there is reality, and then there is everyone’s opinion on what is reality, and opinions are like assholes, we have all got one, and most of them are similar, but separate.

So far nobody has commented on the fact that the Greek reality happened on a Saturday the 27th of the month, typically just in time to NOT pay everyone’s wages into the bank on the last day of the month (Tuesday 30th this month)

How convenient for TPTB.

How inconvenient for the proles on the street.

So let me tell you a few things about ATM’s, I work with these things, but I don’t work for a security firm filling them with cash, if I did I’d have been programmed to freak out with secrecy and not discuss any of this with outsiders.

Think if a BIG office printer, the kind where there are multiple drawers of bins holding the feed paper, you’re kind of on the right lines, now securityify the thing up, rigid steel frame, panels, doors.

Doesn’t actually need a print head, as the paper in the bins is pre-printed, so it’s only a question of dispensing 5 sheets from the 10 bin when you ask for 50 etc.

round the font you have a flat screen and some keypad and buttons for the user interface.

round the back there are more keypads and stuff so the security droids can get it to unlock the empty drawer cartridges and accept the full ones, after inputting the correct codes and personal identifiers and codes of the day / week etc

And then there is the internet connection… of course the ATM uses this to check with your bank that your card is valid, and that you have 50 available to withdraw, and then tells it you have done so, and your new balance is applied to your account etc.

The ATM of course also uses this to report on its own health, intrusion detection operations, software and firmware updates, code registry updates and so on and so forth.

No internet connection = “We’re sorry, this ATM is not available” message on the front.

As to what they hold, the typical full size machine can hold easily in excess of a million in cash, they can hold a few millions actually, if you get one that is chock full, which means one that has just been filled, which also means one that all of the drawers and cartridges are used in.

Let’s say it takes 60 seconds for a complete user cycle, lets say each user can draw 250 bucks / quid / euro / fecalcoin notes, that’s 250 x 60 per hour which = 15,000 an hour, over a 24 hour period that’s 360,000, over a 7 day period that’s 2.520 million, and they really need to go a week or two between refills…. and you usually have two together, so customers aren’t “inconvenienced” when one is down for maintenance etc

Obviously the guys and gals filling these machines are carrying around several million in cash every day, but it isn’t loose cash, it’s in these tins or cartridges… hell, inkjet ink is the most expensive liquid known to man, but nobody actually HANDLES the shit with bottles and funnels and pouring and so on, in the same way nobody actually HANDLES the cash.

THAT is done behind high walls and closed doors and rules that you can take your cellphone and car keys and credit cards with you, but ALL cash and coin stays in your home, you don’t even have any in your car which you drive to work in.

Because essentially nobody is trusted, so these steps all serve to remove every single individual from temptation.

So, if you have a “Greek” event…. all you have to do is send an update via the internet to all your ATM’s, don’t let anyone draw more than 50 if they are greek or more than 100 if they are a bloody tourist.

It’s no different to an ISP sending a throttle command to the modem they provide you with for “free”, or a suspension of service command to the radius server that lets you get access to their network, or a fuck you go use this proxy instead of a direct connection.

You see, it’s simple programming, provided you have the computer power floating around somewhere, you can do the following.

1/ Take all unique personal account customers of natbarcloyd banks details, and use those details to create and populate a new database of customers of the new nationalised natbarcloudstatebank

2/ set up a cron job to push 100 newbucks a week into each account

3/ allow every user to draw up to 20 newbucks a day from the ATM

4/ send a command to every ATM to not dispense anything from any cartridges still tagged as containing euros

5/ send G4s out with newbux to replace the euro in the ATM’s

it’s literally a 24 hour financial coup that CAN be implemented from the top down, if you have access to the correct level of coders and security types, you’re talking a group of maybe 50 people can MAKE this happen and push it out to the masses.

It’s like my morning blowjob, in the either or sense, you either hand a banking system that allows this shit, in the system sense, or you have one where it is impossible, and if you have one where it is impossible, you don’t get your morning blowjob, ever.

Letting the bitch sleep overnight is letting the bankers / state impose / use a fiat currency, it’s either / or.

Back when I was  lad, the technical definition of inflation was “an increase in the money supply”

If there was one billion pounds of money in the system (doesn’t have to be all banknotes in a fiat monetary system, digital credits count too) and you increase the supply to 1.1 billion then you got 10% inflation.. end of…

Fractional reserve banking and loans are therefore inflationary by nature.

Here in the UK we have 60+ million people who think we are independent, because we use the Pound Sterling, not the fucking Euro, wherever it is printed.

They all forget, we USED to have Pounds, shilling and pence, 240 pence to the pound, or 20 shillings of 12 pence to the shilling, then we had “decimalisation” and an ENTIRELY NEW currency of 100 new pennies to the “pound”, but it was still ***called*** pennies and pounds, so nobody reacted to it like a name change from say drachma to euros.

Of course, this was all “before records began” back in the late sixties, the fact that it was in living memory is neither here nor there, now we have a constantly moving goalpost of “when records began”, see, that’s another way of changing the playing field, changing when your records begin and discarding all the older stuff.

Since records began in 1996 not only have house prices not risen *that* much, but the Mongol hordes under Genghis Khan haven’t invaded anyone at all, bastards still go on about my armed robbery and murder convictions throughout the seventies and eighties when I was a gangland kingpin though…

Which all brings me neatly and disjointedly to a local swinger “couple” as in they aren’t a couple and don’t live together but for the purposes of swinging they are a fuckbuddy couple, as in, she only comes as part of a couple, but he meets on his own, and she does not ever, so don’t ask, or it will offend, fnaar fnaar.

So they get pissed off when I say Fuck you I’m not interested in you as a couple unless she swings alone with me, and when I point out that ALL I AM DOING is imposing upon them, that which they seek to impose upon others, it’s toys outta da pram time.

And that’s the grexit in one sentence, when the Greeks try to play turnabout is fair game, it’s a bit like the Russians and Putin being labelled “aggressive” and “escalating” and “warmongering” for noting that all those NATO bases are within 100 miles of Russian borders, and none of them are within 1000 miles of USA borders, or the Russians deploying a mere 40 new nuclear missiles, some decades after Bush II administration said fuck you and walked away from Nixon’s 1972 limitation treaty and started building new nuclear missiles.

That shit isn’t an unfortunate CONSEQUENCE of an asymmetric system, the fucking asymmetric system is chosen mainly because it has those fucking properties, that is the whole fucking idea, shit runs downhill, asymmetric systems exist to define the direction of the slope.

I get a nice blowjob and not a slit throat or an empty wallet in the morning BECAUSE the relationshit is asymmetric, she does not hold the power and dare not fuck it up, and all that keeps that shit clean and lean and clear is the fact that the one with the power does not abuse it.

But then, I got morals and standards, despite the fact that my claimed total lack of morals and standards of any kind is always the first refrain of everyone who tries to manipulate me and make me their (too meek and timid to stand up for themselves) bitch.

Hey, no worries, the “contagion” from the greek collapse and exit is planned for and contained.

Now, who wants a blowjob in the mornings, OK, form an orderly queue and vote here…


June 7, 2015

Crunchy Frog and Krispy Kreme

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: , — wimminz @ 12:12 pm

Most of you know my day job, for those that don’t, my day job is installing or repairing main-street business internet connections, either on the premises, in the local exchanges, in data centres or in the network operation centres.

I got a pocket full of ID saying I am from all the big players, depending on the job and site and who I am representing.

When I say “business” I don’t just mean high street shops, I do military bases, traffic lights, police stations, water works, schools, children’s homes, motor factors, electrical good suppliers, basically fucking everything that is *NOT* a home broadband / internet connection.

I’ve talked here before, extensively, about how flaky and piss poor it all is, but I know y’all don’t REALLY get it… you’re not nearly scared enough… so, hold that thought, and hold what I typed above, while I do a little detour…

A detour into documented vs undocumented.

A documented change is a change that is ordered or recorded in documentation, and anyone else who has access to that documentation is therefore aware of it… eg  “I have replaced the twin 30 ampere breakers with a single 50 amp breaker” and I did this because your wife’s new mega cooker would trip the 30 amp breakers on full load, the downside is you USED to have one 30 amp breaker on your mains socket ring main, and one on the lighting and ventilation circuit… so you USED to be able to trip the socket ring main one and work safely on the sockets and mains gear in the basement while still having the benefit of mains illumination and ventilation, not any more, now it is all either live, or a dark cave.

If you don’t know when you walk in, or when you specify new kit, like the 40 ampere cooker…

In the day job, it usually concerns IP addresses and ranges, and there are only so many to go around, and no tow devices can have the same IP address…

..or rather, they can….. I could in theory put a box on the backbone and give it the IP address, which is Google, so you have, effectively, two separate boxes on the internet, both of which are in effect saying “I’M Spartacus!”

The problem is, when you connect YOUR box to the net, and you want to talk to Spartacus and ask where you can find a webpage that will tell you how to wire up a hifi loudspeaker crossover circuit, how does YOUR computer know which is the real Spartacus?

In reality, because your request has to be ROUTED through so many intermediaries, all of whom know who the real Spartacus is, it’s not much of a problem.

(windows users, press Windows key and R simultaneously, a box will pop up, type “cmd” into the box and press enter, this will bring up the console… type “ping” and it will tell you how long took to respond to the ping request, and the TTL time to live for the ping request.. all good fun, now type “pathping” and be patient for up to three minutes… this command will list all the noted or hops or boxes in between you and spartacus, and after a delay, how many packets each one of them dropped… very useful windows command that has been in there since the XP days..)

So… in the world of BUSINESS network connectivity, things are different, it’s more like there is the internet, and there is the 10 laptops in your own home on your own LAN, except they don’t talk to each other JUST via the router that sits between your and the internet, as in laptop01 > home router > laptop02, but each request goes VIA the internet, laptop01 > store router > internet > store router > laptop02, and laptop01 and 02 may or may not be in the same physical shop.

So we have sites with 950 physical bricks and mortar addresses, and maybe 85 different things connected at each site, and shit isn’t working at site number 157.

Sometimes, you get in a place where you have to stay on the job until it is fixed, eg until site 157 IS working, which means it can talk to HQ (site 001) and a few others, and so on.

Sometimes, according to the documentation, what you have *should* work, but, it doesn’t… somewhere there is a setting that isn’t what you expect, of course that could be anywhere, not just on the corporate VPN, could be in the ISP / provider’s routing tables… who knows, you don’t and you have no way to find out.

Some times, you can look at it and say OK, they have 950 stores, so I’ll just make an imaginary store number 951… change these settings just so, aha, bingo, it works.. but you DARE NOT DOCUMENT what you have done, because according to the documentation, the documented set of numbers and details should work.

Possibly the reason they don’t is back when the company only had 945 stores, someone thought they would fix a problem by making imaginary store 950, who knows.

Real hilarity ensues when you make a mistake and tell the box in store number 949 that it is Spartacus, not knowing that store number 236 also thinks it is Spartacus, because this is a business connection none of the other stores including HQ at store 001 know which is the real Spartacus, so anything can happen, from traffic getting broken up and routed to both 949 and 236, to what should happen, HQ, store 001 saying “I don’t trust either of you bastards” and kicking both store 949 and 236 off the corporate network until a technician (like me) can get on site to sort it… tens of thousands of dollars an hour down the drain, cash sales only in both those stores for the duration.

Real real hilarity ensures when someone makes store 949 think it is Spartacus, and in fact HQ store 001 is supposed to be Spartacus, you can take all 950 stores offline with that one…


Of course, this is what all the ISO / BS / six sigma and other bullshit is supposed to prevent, everything is documented, but the fact is if you want everything documented, you have to document it, and then design a computer record system around THAT, not what happens, which is to tweak the documented system to that it fits the computer programmers design and code.

Which means there is a LOT of scope for undocumented shit, because if it is undocumented, there is no way you can blame employee payroll #628 for doing it….  which is why employee #628 made fucking sure it wasn’t documented.

Between THAT, and shit just falling through the cracks, eg work order was generated for a telecom guy to turn up on site and install a VDSL/FTTC NTU network termination unit / socket, guy turn up and does this, nobody told him it should not go here with all the other stuff that comes in from the street cabinet, but in the comms room 4 doors down the corridor, and nobody told him to install a VDSL modem as well, or even if they did tell him, nobody made sure that there was actually a spare mains power plug anywhere near the new install site to power the VDSL/FTTC modem… you get the picture, between these falling between the cracks sorts of issues, and the undocumented shit issues, you just about accounted for 98% of all issues.

Thing is, my day job EXISTS to put out the fires caused by this 98% of issues, I am a full time fireman, and I am always putting out fires in the IT infrastructure, because there is always something somewhere on fire, and there is a never ending supply of new fires being started because of shit falling between cracks and undocumented shit..

So now it has become the new norm… people in the industry and joining the industry have never known anything except a hideously complex ghetto with guys like me running all over it on our insectile feet putting out fires… of which there are always thousands…

I mean, I get on site, there is flammable material everywhere, and you are all sat around smoking and flicking your dog ends everywhere, and you actually expect me to give a fuck when YOU clearly don’t?

In the past THREE FUCKING YEARS, do you know how many sites I have gone to where there was a printed network map fixed to the cabinet door?

It’s a smaller number than the number of sites I have gone to with a clean and tidy and professionally racked and cabled cab, and that is about three in total.. the first number is zero by the way.

NORMAL is getting on site with a new router, because, you know, the problem with your old EFM service wasn’t all of the above, it is that it wasn’t fibre, so we will upgrayeed all this shit for y’all, and significant expense of course, it’s an exercise in upselling, not remedy… so there I am, fuck all documentation apart from a postal address and and end user name and a telco name, it would be nice to know the circuit ID I’m supposed to be connecting to, or the LAN switch port, but fuck that, the cisco command “sh int desc” *might* tell me, assuming I know the login and pass, assuming the monkey that wrote the config bothered to put such REM statements in, assuming that even when they have it is more informative than “GE0/1 LAN – GE 0/0 WAN”

When I work it all out it still doesn’t work, because you have an ADVA box that is providing 100 meg fibre bearer and a Cisco box that someone has written in the config for GE0/1 “speed 100” which won’t work, because the Cisco box is talking to a non-Cisco box, so it just sits there with a dead circuit, so if I have the login and pass I change it to “speed auto” and bingo it just fucking works, write memory, another undocumented change, not a biggie as these things go.. but another brick in the wall.

Fuck it, I get my forms signed and I’m outta there.

And if y’all think there is ANY part of modern civilised life that does not just stop fucking dead when the internet connections for it go down, y’all just haven’t been paying fucking attention.

And baby, when push comes to shove, it’s the arms of the state that will get connectivity second, the multinationals like google and fuckbook and the banks and major supermarket chains first, infrastructure like traffic lights and water plants third, and as for your home broadband, you’ll come last, and by that I mean y’all will get FUCKING limited connectivity on an ad-hoc basis to one or two proxy services only… as in AOL walled garden days, port 80 http traffic and throttled at that, or sweet fuck all.


June 6, 2015

I don’t *have* the fucking answers.

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: — wimminz @ 1:23 pm

It’s like that line from the early part of GTA-V where Michael’s kid says “My mum used to be a skank…

I *used* to shit in my daiper, I don’t any more, and so it’s sort of acceptable both because it was decades ago, and also because *everyone* else did too.

I *used* to drink drive too, fewer decades ago, and not everyone did, and I really do not expect everyone to find it acceptable just because it is in my past.

But it gets complicated, today,  I’d rather someone turned up to collect me from the railways station smelling of booze than with pants full of shit, the drunk can get in the passenger seat and I’ll drive home…. fecal freddie can stay in the car with the windows shut, I’ll get a cab…

But when someone becomes “unacceptable” because of an act they have done, well, world’s change…

My main employer became unacceptable to me last month, not in the sense that I jacked the job in, but in the sense I stopped giving a fuck, so despite still doing everything contractually required of me, I’m no longer going that extra mile and using the cerebral ability and experience and common sense that frankly speaking they weren’t fucking paying me for anyway…

I still get a 100% completion rate, as in 100% of my jobs get all the paperwork signed and sealed and some fucker gets billed and no come back on me, but my actual *success* rate, where the end user is back online and all the staff can update fuckbook etc, that’s fallen from about 60% to about 35%.

I am effectively HALF as effective as I was, just because my employer did one thing that I found unacceptable to me, and yes, I got it remedied within 72 hours, but the cunts should never have done it it the first place, tried their best not to remedy it when I raised it, only did so when I threatened legal action, and of course never issued an actual apology, as they are still convinced that they are in the right…. after all, I’m just a lowly fucking wage slave.

My day job is effectively now easier, because I give less of a fuck.

Her indoors noted all this, and several pieces of jigsaw fell into place, the shit I have been telling her about only giving someone one chance to fuck up as an answer to the question of why a wonderful guy like me was single when you met me bitch, everyone else did what my employer did…. differences between my employer and skank ho ex cum buckets is my employer is still fucking paying me, that’s why I stay with the bitch.. lol

It’s a fucking learned response, she is now applying it herself to her life, and finding all sorts of “nearest and dearest” that have been near and dear for upwards of twenty fucking years are actually just unacceptable skanks of one form or another, and only got away with it because of some label like “Employer” or “Brother” or “Mother”, as though these are excuses for less than exemplary behaviour, as opposed to being reasons for best possible behaviour and practices at all times…

In the “night” job things go on slowly and steadily, but this week I was treated to a series of emails from three different senior staff members from a local company that makes shit out of acrylic asking me to quote to do X for them.

There have been about 20 emails back and forth, and I still don’t have one or two fundamental and crucial design issues answered, but I do now have a fucking purchase order… don’t have the shit yet, just the purchase order, I guess it will take another three managers a week to organise sending me that shit… then they will come up against the fact (stated on my website) that I don’t do credit or 30 day terms or account terms or anything except payment on collection, payment on shipping, or cash with order if I am buying materials too… which will no doubt take another three managers another week to sort out…

They apparently have two lasers in house, one of which is on the blink, and I *believe* that the timescales and cost of fixing the dying one has made them shit themselves, so it looks like it is like the company I work for in the day job, fucking expensive products / service, but allegedly to world class and all sorts of big name customers, big fancy expensive premises, and bunch of managers on big salaries, and a handful of actual workers on fuck all money who don’t give a fuck.

Her indoors is thinking I may be on to a good thing, when they work out that outsourcing a portion of their production to me will be cheaper for them than fixing their laser.

Me, I’m not convinced, I am already working for one set of assholes in my day job.

I don’t need another set for my night job.

Especially as, as predicted by me, the mythical kickstarter job that was going to allow me to retire early in three month’s time is -crickets-

That and a buck will buy you a coffee, it’s a good mantra to live by.


May 30, 2015

Unspecified errors

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: — wimminz @ 1:21 pm

I’m in a funny place at the moment, funny as in the boot being on the other foot as far as small business / entrepreneurs are concerned.

As in, people are coming to me, and some of them have the big ideas and the “just waiting for this guy to give me the green light, then I’ll be coming to you with loads of work” and of course “how much discount will I get for 100 off, 1,000 off, and 10,000 off?” before they have even placed an actual order for one off…

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m as gung ho as the next guy, and more power to ya bro, and all that jazz, but……

…..but, you got to fucking realise there is a whole world of difference between a serious player and a dreamer, and the dreamers are invariably asking questions about volume discounts before actually placing a fucking order for one item.

Meanwhile there are guys like “Joe”, who will turn up every week with 150/200 bucks worth of work in small repetitive not very exotic or glamorous but quite pleasing and quite good quality jobs.

“Joe” is my bread and butter, 100 bucks a week trousered is over 5k per annum, and that makes a fucking difference… 4 x “Joe’s” is a basic living wage.

4 x dreamers and a buck will buy you a coffee.

The current squeeze (who is turning out to be real sweet) isn’t experienced enough in life to get it yet, she still sees the dreamer’s enquiries and gets all excited at the potential money, hey, could be 3,000 bucks a week, yeah could be, but, that and an actual real physical buck in your hand from “Joe” will buy you a coffee, so I respond to the dreamer’s email like a lottery ticket, you never know, it may pay off, and if you don’t play you don’t get to pay, but 5 minutes of my time and that is it…. I got more important fish to fry.20150529_181924a

More important fish like Joe, I’m sitting here chilling typing this and drinking coffee, but later I’m going to do a couple of hours worth of work for Joe, at 100 bucks an hour, and that work is physically sat here waiting to be done. Not pie in the sky.

I’m better employed using my time and equipment to do “homers” like the bespoke acrylic fish tank lid above and building a thing that is better than anything I can buy for 400 bucks, saving me spending out 400 bucks on an inferior item, sure, it’s not “income”, but it is a lack of “expenditure” which comes out much the same way, removing a negative from the other side of the balance sheet has a positive effect on this side of the balance sheet.

But, back to the dreamers…..

I have talked here before, long ago, about prototyping, EP1 and EP2, and PP1 and PP2 prototypes, and indeed how you need to maintain that mindset to separate AWALT from NAWALT and being able to type things like I did up there, that the current squeeze, is turning out to be real sweet, as in current, as in it’s still all gravy, what a ride, what a ride…

“Joe” is giving me work that he knows for a fucking fact he can sell at a small / reasonable profit, the dreamers are talking about giving me work that they hope they can sell at a profit.

Let me give you an example, a real world physical example, because I don’t want to diss dreamers, or hope, or aspirations, or yearnings, or anything else… fuck it, all those things are good, as long as they are seasoned with a heavy dose of reality.

IMG_1324Now the current squeeze is trying to make a go of things, trying to capitalise on opportunity, and at this point I should be clear, and not give the impression I knew this shit would not fly, I did not know either, so I don’t have a problem trying it.

So she goes out and spends her money on some hardwood ply, and some doll’s house plans, and we put those together with the laser and out the other end pops this twelfth scale doll’s house, and one other.

And there they have both sat for six weeks, despite being listed on amazon and ebay and her own new website, no sale thus far.

Now I’d hesitate to classify this as the “dreamer” I was talking about above, as this is a final design finished product, and money was thrown at actually buying materials and actually paying for laser time, but it is a lovely example of how the marketplace and competition and potential sales on the one hand, balance out on the other hand with over a 100 bucks worth of hardwood plywood and some laser time resulting in two lovely doll’s houses sitting on a single bed at home and taking up a lot of space, and doing nothing quite so well as serving as an ongoing warning about the differences between speculation and sales.

The dreamers are one step removed from this, they make have spent time and money on prototyping something, but they have stopped short of actually walking out on to the dance floor and asking the drop dead gorgeous babe with the big tits for a dance.

The current squeeze did take that walk, and (to be strictly fair, so far, as these items are still listed and for sale, and *could* sell tomorrow… who knows…) did not get the dance, and the two doll’s houses represent a physical reminder that wishes ain’t horses.

The dreamers, well, just cos I can see that a plane won’t fly, it doesn’t mean I myself have the skills to make it fly or fly it, so the dreamers, I can see what they are doing wrong.

There are gaps in the business plan, gaps that are filled with magic fairy dust.

“Joe” could sell both these doll’s houses in a week, because Joe has bricks and mortar business premises, and that ability to touch and feel and see in real life… well, I doubt Joe would sell *anything* either if all he had was a website and listings on amazon and fleabay.

Sure, amazon and fleabay give you a billion potential customers, and a billion potential competitors, meanwhile Joe has a footfall past the outside of his bricks and mortar premises measured in the hundreds per day, and maybe a couple of dozen enter, but, he has NO competition when you walk into his shop. When you walk into Joe’s shop, you either buy from Joe, or you walk away empty handed.

And the bottom line is in addition to these who enter his shop, Joe is touting for work, and he gets it, partly because he *has* a bricks and mortar shop, be it ever so humble, and mainly because he has been actually trading for some years, track record innit…. and he comes to me and spends a 100 bucks a week at *my* business, in the manufacture and finish of some of the products for *his* business.

The magic fairy dust filled gaps in the plan for my current squeeze are that she ain’t selling these doll’s houses, they represent stock that is taking up money and represents money spent on materials and laser time, rinse and repeat isn’t going to fix that…. meanwhile, Joe *could* sell them… meanwhile Joe’s wife has suggested that Joe *would* sell / exhibit them, yeah, sure, this is Joe’s wife speaking and not Joe, but you can see the obvious gap… the magic fairy dust is, in this case, this shit (doll’s houses) doesn’t sell worth shit when you are just one of a billion people online trying to sell them, but they would sell if you were bricks and mortar with mere hundreds walking past per day.

“I could sell a thousand of these per year, IF……” and the IF is the magic fairy dust, and I call it magic fairy dust simply because it is not seen as the impediment to the plan actually working, but as the reason the plan could work, tomorrow, or next week, or next month, if I just hang on long enough or get a good enough fleabay feedback or enough adwords or page impressions or such other magic fairy dust bullshit.

I have one such dreamer now, got to be said, I like the product they want to make, I think that in the right circumstances it would indeed sell, problem is, the facts are they are crowdfunding, and as I type they have achieved 2% of their goal for stage 1 production… with two weeks to go before the crowdfunding deadline.

I’ll give you a real world example, I had a mate who used to have a small industrial unit, we used to make good beer money, not *quite* a living, but a lot more than pocket money, buying old jukeboxes and refurbing them for sale to people who wanted one at home, it was steady if sporadic and financially worthwhile, then the landlord sold the block of units for a supermarket to be built, and that sideline / business died overnight, we could not get anywhere similar for a similar price in a similar location… game over man.

The “business” just was not viable paying 5x the rent for a similar sized modern “proper” industrial unit.

My *business* is only viable because I bought and own the kit outright, and there is little to no magic fairy dust involved. It was a straight out cash gamble, put your fucking money where your mouth is.

Slightly different to the current squeeze and Joe, who are selling PRODUCTS, in that I am selling a SERVICE, but very different to the dreamers, in that I can provide that service to you right fucking now, no delays or additional expenditures of maybe or what if or magic fairy dust… a bit like Joe’s shop when there aren’t actually any customers inside, it isn’t earning him anything, so it is only potential, but, IF someone walks in, there are no further delays or barriers to turning the dream into reality.

May 23, 2015

Tanks for the memories.

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: — wimminz @ 12:06 pm

I am, I suppose, in a way, a bit of a record keeper… this isn’t as hard as it sounds, in the digital age, you just need regular backups to some location or device.

So I was able to look at what I was paying to rent a 3 bedroom property 6 years ago, and a 2 bedroom property 8 years ago, and compare it to what I am paying today.

Which brings us to the definition of “property”… you can go to the rightmove website and browse to your heart’s content, and most of the housing stock consists of places with main rooms that are each 100 square feet or less and bedrooms that are much smaller, and if they have gardens they are what we used to call “the size of a postage stamp” or “too small to swing a cat”… basically, literally just enough room for one of those pop up rotary clothes line things that my mum used to call a “whirly”

Of garages and outbuildings and such like, there are none.

But then this is what happens when you start cramming 12 or 15 or 17 “houses” together per acre, minus roads, pavements and services.

There isn’t even enough room in them to live, much less enough room to DO anything that might earn you a living, or save you money, or give you space to adapt.

My current pad does not have a garden, or exterior courtyard, or much of anything outside, but, what I class as my workshop is by far the biggest room in the house.

The other thing the workshop has that none of the rest of the place, and no other houses have, is level and easy access with wide doors… I used to do furniture removals many years back during a quiet spell, and I look at 99.99% of housing today and thank god I am not the poor bastard who has to maneouver a 3 seater sofa and king size bed from the wagon to the appropriate interior rooms… there is a reason self assembly furniture is so fucking popular here.

There is now a sufficient level of disconnect between what people actually need to live in to make a house a home, and those that build and design and approve them, that nobody even knows what a proper family home is any more.

I cannot stress the sheer convenience of being able to walk from the lounge to my workshop in less than 60 seconds, quite apart from the extra expense and lack of security, having to rent a workshop space a ten minute drive away just kills all sorts of productivity and time management, jobs that now are no more complex than going into the kitchen to make a meal take on the complexity of going camping, and if you forget anything, you got another round trip back to home and back to get it.

I’m reminded of old Stan, I haven’t even thought of the guy for years, but back in the seventies Stan bought an old (steam) traction engine for 500 quid.

It didn’t run, and even back then it would have cost 20,000 to fix up, but it moved if you towed it. I saw Stan move house twice, and it was always a major problem finding a place with a shed big enough to take his old engine, Stan used to grin, much to his wife’s chagrin, saying that this was the whole fucking point, any house that did not have a shed big enough for his engine would also be inadequate in many other ways…

My dad used to build boats for a hobby, all sorts between 15 and 30 feet, looking back he fucked up on the 30 footer, because he didn’t have his own land big enough to build it on, and they *could* have afforded it, a third of an acre would have done, and they later bought places with that, but at the time they were in places that had the “old” standard building plot of an eighth of an acre per house.

Stan bought an old worn out traction engine because he couldn’t afford an army surplus tank, that’s what he really wanted, a WWII Tiger tank… there used to be a guy about 6 miles from here that had an old Sherman in his front yard.

Today we live in a world where a guy who builds a wooden tree house in his own tree in his own back garden gets taken to the cleaners for violating planning permission, because some neighbour complained that it somehow affected the value of their home, shades of American style community laws about what you must and must not do with your own fucking property… how dare you wish to paint your own fucking front door cardinal red…

Of course, like everything else in modern life, it isn’t one size fits all so much as whatever you do, there better be a fucking form for it that you can fill in, that way, whatever you do, it is fucking guaranteed to generate ongoing revenue and employment for some other fucker in the state apparatchik.

I semi-permanently moved to a foreign country some years ago, there was an higher supra national hierarchy rule in place, to do or be X, you had to have completed Form ABC123, of course, nobody, not even the locals, had any interest in anyone *officially* being X, if you wanted to do it, just do it, and as long as you kept your nose clean and formed part of the community, nobody gave a shit… so they figured out that you weren’t in violation of this rule that you *must* complete and submit Form ABC123 if nobody in the town hall had any copies of Form ABC123 to give you, and, there were no specific rules in places to say that the town hall always had to have on hand a sufficient number of Form ABC123, so what they did was order 1,000 printed, and accidentally left the whole two reams on the loading dock in the rain.

It worked for several years, then eventually the hierarchy came down on the town hall, and me and a lot of others upped sticks and left… to be replaced by people who DID complete Form ABC123, but who, having done so and thus obtained their legal status, felt no need whatsoever to be a part of the local community, or to spend any of their income in the local community, or employ them.

I’ve got relatives trying this shit now in eastern Europe, sadly my relatives are complete shits who see the current anarchic state as a way of making money by getting bits of paper entitling them to do X, via possession of Form ABC123, thus far, despite all the talk of “this time next year we will be millionaires” and despite driving around in fairly new Mercs and suchlike, they are thankfully getting stonewalled and fucked over by the very communities they were attempting to helicopter in and exploit for their own personal gain…

The bottom line is this, even if you choose to be a 9 to 5 wage slave, you really do need a “home” that has enough room, and freedom, should you so choose, to put a tank on the front lawn.

This goes ten times as strong should you wish to have any sort of second string to your bow, or run a business from your own home.

Sadly, 99.999% of current housing stock makes such things impossible, which is not just fatal for the economy and freedom and liberty, it also means that those of us who do not WANT to live in a fucking shoebox or rabbit hutch, have to work with the remaining 0.0001% of housing stock, because buying say 3 acres of land to redevelop for your own purposes is also pretty nigh on impossible, one because people are either only selling tenth of an acre plots with outline planning permission for two rabbit hutches for enough money to buy a new top of the range Ferrari, or they are selling 20 acres of rough pasture with no possibility of any change of use from the planning department.

All that is left is my way, choosing one of the crap 0.0001% of housing stock that nobody else wants, and running my own small business ventures off the fucking radar with kit that I own outright with no leasing or loans or HP, if I make 200 bucks this week I do, if I don’t I don’t, buy hey, at least I don’t fucking pay tax on it.

May 15, 2015

Trust me, I’m an expert.

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: , , — wimminz @ 1:00 pm

In my day job, or out of it, I’m a time served engineer, 4th generation at least, to my knowledge.

In simple terms what this means that unless you are also at the very least a qualified or experienced engineer, if you go up against me in an engineering scenario, you are going to lose.

You are going to lose in so many ways and on so many levels that you aren’t even going to be able to accurately gauge how badly and in what ways you are losing, hell, you may not even be aware that you are losing….

This is of course true for any skill-set you choose.

If you have spent your entire life working with numbers that represent “money” and “finance” and the name above the door on your business is Rothschild (amongst others) then it pretty much doesn’t matter who you go up against, even if they are an otherwise intelligent Harvard educated economist and accountant with many years of experience, you are going to win, and they are going to lose, they are going to lose so badly that they aren’t even going to be able to accurately gauge how badly and in what ways they are losing…

We have just had our faux elections here, meet the new boss, same as the old boss, and of course our new ministers for the economy are as outclassed as the old ones were when it comes to dealing with old money bankers.

I’m going to deviate from my usual form and talk specific personal shit now.

The new bitch, gotta admit, she is ticking all the boxes, but, of relevance to this post is a situation that actually happened here in real life a few weeks ago.

Essentially, I have no debt, no mortgage, no auto loans, no loans, no credit card debt, you get the pikcher…. she, on the other hand, despite earning 25% more than me, is drowning it debt.

She and her ex were up to the hilt on an insane interest only mortgage, multiple credit card debts up the wazoo, multiple bank loans, so the situation at the end of every month for her is once she has paid off all the repayments she has maybe 150 bucks left from her month’s salary. This is 150 bucks for everything by the way, food fuel, roof over her head the works, clearly it doesn’t compute, and the old “two can live as cheaply as one” comes into play, so in exchange for food and board and little else she works her ass off as domestic servant and sex slave… an arrangement we both find mutually pleasurable.. lol

So, in an entirely *sensible* bid to get this shit sorted, credit card debt is *expensive* so the thing to do is move it to a place where it is attracting lower interest, so the repayments go towards reducing the capital amount owed and not just making the interest.

So I sat here, almost lost for fucking words, bear in mind that purple text above showing the current state of her finances, she is basically up to the hilt and underwater, when she hits two websites, one for a large well known bank, and one for a large well known shopping chain, both of which are offering 0% interest on balance transfers for up to 36 months… and FUCKING LITERALLY 30 FUCKING MINUTES LATER she has been granted approval for one new credit card from each, adding a further 25 thousand bucks in credit availability.

Give the bitch her due, she shoved all her existing shit onto these cards which are now 75% full, at 0% interest for 36 months, cut up her old cards, and gave me these two new ones for safe keeping, and now her monies are going to balance reduction and not interest repayments.

But, it’s the “insanity” of lending someone who is already drowning in debt another 25k that I want to talk about, and notice I put “insanity” in quotation marks, lets go back to that YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE thing…

To the old money bankers, they aren’t going to lose, they have traded a bunch of 0’s and 1’s in computer files for an additional $25k / her hourly wage earning capacity, lets say for argument it’s $25 an hour, so 1,000 working hours, at 40 hours a week that is 1,000 / 40 = 25 weeks or 6 months of ADDITIONAL earning capacity, in addition to the 15 years or so she already owes them, this is assuming that she actually sticks to the theory and uses it solely as a balance transfer and debt repayment vehicle, not they way 99.9% of “customers” will see it, and weaken, and buy something new on the remaining capacity on the cards, which will turn it into a few extra years of earning capacity.

I want to put this into perspective.

Tuesday past, she got up at 5:30 am to get ready for the commute to work, which is now (as she is living with me) 90 minutes each way, she then does 10 hours at work, finishing at 6:30 pm, drives another 90 minutes home to me, she gets here at 8 pm, and then does the housework and cooks for me, by 11 pm she is in bed, but not asleep yet, as she spends 30 minutes blowing me and taking it up the ass, and then another 30 minutes scratching my nuts while I fall asleep smiling the smile of the innocent and satisfied.

I’m going to give the bitch her due, she laps it all up and loves it, and hates the fact that she is essentially sponging off me for food and board, but is grateful for the opportunity and my company and all that good stuff… but just look at the hours she is putting into all this, and it is all going to keep bankers fat in exchange for ski-ing holidays and other shit that is now no more than a dim and distant memory.

Yes, on the one hand, she does have the credit capacity to go out and buy me a harley, and I do not (neither one of us has the ready cash at the moment) but, IN EXCHANGE FOR WHAT?

In exchange for a few more years of her future earning capacity.

I, for my part, am NOT being offered (by the bankers) the “opportunity” to pledge a few years of my future earning capacity in exchange for a harley today.

From a purely personal perspective, I’m finding it hard to see how this is a bad deal for me, but, as I said before, it isn’t about my part, it’s about being on the losing side of a scenario where YOU are ALWAYS going to lose, because the OTHER GUY is the EXPERT and it is HIS LAWN.

Looked at this way, the other guy, the experts sitting on their own lawn, figure I’m good for a single credit card with a 750 buck limit, a limit that is NEVER going to be increased, because I don’t use that card every month, and when I do it’s usually the odd 100 buck purchase, and when I do, the balance is always cleared at the end of the month when I am paid my salary.

The experts who will ALWAYS win have decided that I am not a suitable person to play with, because they won’t win… and since there are so many suckers, large and small, out there, this doesn’t trouble them in the slightest, for every 1 of me there are 10,000 or more like the current bitch… and that’s where the winning plays (for them) are.

They aren’t going to lose ANY sleep over not getting a few years of my future earning capacity, when they have 10,000 other already owing decades of future earning capacity EACH, it’s like a cash millionaire missing out on getting one more buck from one more sucker, when there is a queue of thousands of suckers each trying to give them a twenty.

And really, who needs 10,000 suckers like my bitch, when you can get a government and an entire fucking country to play the same game, that’s where the *real* gig is at.. private banking is just icing on the fucking cake.

So our new chancellor, is the old chancellor, this guy.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Osborne and despite being privileged old money, the glaring omission is a lifetime as a time served banker, so he is going to lose, every time, and be unable to quantify how or in what ways he is losing to the bankers.

The only way to play and win, is to NOT play on their lawn, and that means not using their money, be it UK Pound Sterling,  US$, Bitcoin, or anything else that they issue or denominate, in your daily dealings with another human being.

You CANNOT play on their lawn and win.

It’s a bit like the old adage about a government policy that says it will do A, but what it actually does is B, all your comprehension problems disappear as soon as you accept that A was never anything more substantial that marketing bullshit, and B was always that actual goal of the policy.


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