March 9, 2014
March 8, 2014
…. longer than you can stay solvent.
Sage advice, and observant.
But, it also applies to wimminz, for this post, I am thinking of a single individual wimminz, and the fact is, she can continue to be irrational and slowly erode her life, because being irrational at present only presents a slow erosion, there is no sudden cliff edge and wil-e-coyote.
In other words, people can continue to act irrationally, as long as there is no immediate and severe penalty for doing so.
Back when I was a lad, there was a certain balance. If you got your ass shot off in Beirut, the first question anyone would ask is WTF were you doing there?
It didn’t mean, for example, that being raped was any less pleasant or against your will or wrong, but there was an acknowledgement that no matter what the event, the person it happened to shared a varying proportion of the responsibility… if you do not want your ass shot off, do not go to Beirut, thus dramatically reducing the likelihood of it happening.
The wimminz I was thinking of above, mid thirties, which means, given that this is 2014, born late seventies, early eighties.
Let me tell you this, anything after the mid seventies, you’re fucked, you have no idea what the world is about, you have been living in disneyland, where wil-e-coyote moments don’t matter, it’s not the stepping off the cliff edge, it doesn’t matter, because the fall won’t kill you, it won’t even injure you, ten seconds later you’re back.
Back then, part of the fun of watching the coyote and the roadrunner was the knowledge that IN REAL LIFE a coyote can run over twice as fast as a roadrunner, 4 legs beats 2 for speed, always has, always will.. eg if the roadrunner left off with the daft schemes and flaky ACME products, and just chased the fucking roadrunner, he would win every time…. THAT was part of the joke.
But, like Tom & Jerry, it “evolved” into something utterly alien, and like Tom and Jerry the “idiot” took on more pronounced male characteristics, and the “winner” took on more pronounced female characteristics…. for you sanity’s sake, don’t ever watch Pippa pig.
So the wimminz I talk about here, she *knows* she is fucking up left right and centre, but because the penalties are not both immediate and severe, she continues to do so while living in a sort of denial, like a child playing hide and seek who covers their eyes, if they can’t see you, you can’t see them, right…
So anyway, this wimminz has kids, plural, boys and girls, and as we all know wimminz can’t raise boys for shit, and as the boys grow up they get all confused, one minute they are in effect the man of the house, next minute they are looking at pictures of mummy sicking various random cocks on a night out at a swingers party when she left her laptop open and unlocked… but, the wimminz are worse at raising mini skanks, actually, let me re-phrase that, they are GREAT at raising mini skanks.
So this skank ho has a couple of mini skank ho’s, who despite being in primary school are totally out of fucking control and rule the house, and I said one of those things, where you think “did I just say that out loud” and then you see from the expressions around you, you did.
So bemoaning her status, somehow the subject drifted on to what sort of man would be acceptable to her, and since none would be foolish enough, she naturally says none, she prefers her freedom and single life…. yeah right bitch, all you do is complain about everything that is a DIRECT consequence of you being a single skank ho mommy.
So tiring of the usual man bashing I say any guy who did want to get involved and take you all on as a family needed his fucking head examined… well, those little bitches of yours, (the bitch in the states suing her parents for money was discussed, as was the lostprophets paedo/singer, etc etc etc) I said, if I was involved with you, it’s only a matter of time until the little cunts accuse me of molesting them or something, so if you’re gonna be hung for it you might as well do it, so are they being offered along with you?
This draws the expected indrawn breaths and shock horror outrage shit, but that ain’t what causes the thing I mention above… no… that was when they start talking about little girls and innocent children and how could I even imagine they would condone such a thing or go near a man who was capable of such a thing.
“You would if there weren’t any immediate personal consequences for YOU“
That was the did-I-actually-say-that-out-loud bit.
But I stand by it. Sure, the person most likely to sexually abuse a girl child is the stepfather, not the single man raising some other person’s girl child alone, the guy who is living with the girl childs mother, in the same house.
Like Beirut, he got fuck all chance of doing that if it isn’t acceptable to the mum, provided there are no immediate personal consequences for her…. trust me, I have fucked a lot of single mommies, not one of them has any concept of inappropriate behaviour in front of, in sight or, in earshot of, in smell radius of, in the same house as, etc, their kids.
I have been sat on a sofa, three seater sofa, me at one end in a dressing gown having come in, got showered, got comfortable, and the wimminz 3 year old child is at the other end of the sofa, watching cartoons, so she brings me in a coffee, all good, kneels on the floor in front of me, all good, leans forward, opens the dressing gown and starts sucking on my cock… it is ME that is freaking instantly and internally and my peripheral vision on the side of HER FUCKING CHILD is going in to overdrive, and I grab the towel I was using for my hair and use it to conceal things.
Skanky sluts, if you do not want your children sexually abused, make sure they are living under the same roof as their father, otherwise it is Beirut again, like the wimminz in question here, *I* got no biological relationship to the little sluts, and if they are in *my* presence and acting in overtly sexual ways, and frankly it doesn’t make a damn bit of difference if they know what they are doing or just copying what they saw mummy doing, and *you* aren’t doing a damn thing to moderate either your behaviour in front of them, or theirs, it’s Beirut, some fucker is getting their ass shot off.
There may not be immediate and severe penalties for wimminz, because they have externalised all the consequences to men, that don’t make the streets of Beirut safer, it makes them MORE fucking dangerous, because frankly speaking, anyone with a clue, anyway familiar with immediate and severe penalties for irrationality, already got the fuck out.
Back in the day, for my sins, I did a bit of motorway recovery work for a guy I knew, he had a fleet of old but fairly well maintained Ford D series, being no fool he stuck with the straight 6 engine and 6 speed box models, avoided the V8′s etc.
Of course being exempt vehicles you could have a lot of fun, unloaded beavertail + wet road + corner at a junction = you could drift that ass end around as wide as you liked, plus no speed limiters, plus you could do all sorts of things in an exempt vehicle that were illegal in a normal truck or car, plus, he had the po-lice contract to clear shit off the motorways.
It was the last of the glory days of trucking in the UK, even if it wasn’t real trucking…money was good too.
Of course, you’d jump in whatever was available if you got a shout, but we all had our favourites, you know I can’t even find any fucking pictures of the sort of thing on google images now, but they were full double crew cab, solid beavertail body, no hydraulics or moving / tilting bed shit, and solid ramps that you pulled out and put away by hand, but by and large, provided the last guy had left it the way you would, all straps rolled and put away tidy, fuel topped off, ready to rock, you were happy.
Then there was Saddam, he was a Merc, sat at the end of the row, because it was the last truck anyone wanted to take, but, Saddam didn’t have long range tanks, so if one of the guys got called in for a local recovery, they were told to take Saddam, to much abuse and cat calls from anyone else there.
To be fair to Saddam, he didn’t do anything badly, he just wasn’t quite as meaty as the old Fords, he felt more like a 7 tonner scaled up to an 11 tonner, rather than a 17 tonner scaled down to an 11 tonner, if you know what I mean.
In the Ford, you climbed “up” into the seat more, tilt cab over engine, so there was that aspect too.
Put them both on paper and a modern manager would buy a fleet of Saddam’s, on a service contract with the local Merc garage, and old driver like me would opt for the fleet of Fords and one guy whose main job was keeping them all sorted and a couple of guys who could split helping him with some local runs, as and when needed.
Here, today, in the UK, the 1.6 litre diesel “blue-motion” VW Golf car is pretty much the de-facto half decent company car for anyone hitting the road a lot… sales droid, technician, field service, if you don’t need a van, there is a good chance you get a golf diesel. These aren’t bought, they are on full service contract lease, and get chopped back in for new ones either at 3 years old when the first MOT is due, or when they hit 180,000 miles, whichever comes first.
From the company’s point of view, Monday to Friday working week, that costs the company X per day, I’m saying X, cos I’ll come to the numbers in a minute.
So the company are looking at taking school leavers and training them up, modern apprenticeshits in IT stuff, of course this is training and a set of skills that will benefit this particular company, rather than a rounded set of skills, you don’t get to be a car mechanic or diesel fitter, you get to be a specialised and certified nissan leaf technician, who knows how to use the nissan shop diagnostic machines, etc etc.
So they are running the numbers on these supposed apprenticeship places, and the potential cost to the company while they are being trained up, and it doesn’t come to a whole heap of money…. so he comes up with a number and it seems good, from company point of view.
Then one of the other guys pipes up, and says, hang on, we will be giving these guys company cars while they are doing their on the job training aren’t we, the first guy says well duh, yes, they have to get to the customers sites, so the other guy, who is the company’s fleet director, says to the first guy do you know what these cars cost us, per day, based on a 5 day week?
The first guy says no, actually, he doesn’t know a number, but he assumes X is a reasonable number.
So the fleet director drops the little bombshell that X is in fact 180 of her majesty’s pounds sterling every day, based on 5 day week.
When you add £180 a day to the first guy’s cost to the company calculations for some on the job apprenticeships, suddenly the numbers do not seem so reasonable.
Of course, the penny never drops, that there is a *significant*, nay, a MAJORITY proportion of their CURRENT trained and experienced and all that good stuff staff driving around in these cars, who are paid LESS than it costs to provide the car.
And none of them remember the old days, when even if you ended up driving Saddam, back when fuel cost just under half what it costs now, at the dusk of the last good days to be a driver, I’d take home in cash significantly more money than I do now.
Incidentally, a bluemotion 1.6 diesel as a company car in the UK today, the guvvmint tax figures are it costs you as an employee just under £4,000 per year of your tax free allowance, and 13 pence per mile for fuel for any private mileage…. given they do an average of 50 miles to the imperial gallon, that’s pretty much pump prices, your personal fuel is at cost…. sure, you drive an effectively brand new car, and any and all servicing and tyres etc is all free, as is insurance etc, and at a 30% tax rate that 4k per year tax allowance hit means it costs you £1,300 a year, or £26 a week for this, which is a good deal compared to any other private vehicle except perhaps a motorbike…
The cost comes from the new cost of these cars, £23-25k each, plus service contract, depreciated to nothing over 3 years or less on a corporate lease…. plus fuel, plus insurance.
March 6, 2014
It was many years ago, but we were a local bunch of lads, and they’d only charged us with 0.5% of what we had done, so the sentences were pretty short, so old Cess (long dead now) decided we could be let out of our cells to do the outside grounds work party, cushy number.
Christmas was coming over the horizon and we were all getting out before then, so Cess had us out front planting Daffodil bulbs for the spring… time passed, got out, forgot all about it, until one day early spring the next year, walking down the street, and who is coming the other way but old Cess, I grinned at him because he was basically a good bloke, and he walks up to me and says “CUNTS”… with a wry grin himself.
Took me a minute for my brain to catch up, well, you give a bunch of cons a load of daffodil bulbs and tell them to plant them on the sloping lawn out front of the prison, what do you expect us to do, plant them randomly or plant them in the shapes of letters…
Reminded every year of that when the daffs come out… which, because of the fucked up way my brain works, got me to thinking of PUA’s
The thing that, as far as I know, none of them deal with, is the nature a wimminz, as the saying goes, a key that opens any lock is a master key, a lock that will open for most keys is a door.
You sit there thinking if only Julie was the great pizza she could be, without the turd on top that she keeps laying fresh every day, then thinking how this imaginary Julie would be great to be with, meanwhile, all there is is the real Julie, who is a worthless skank.
PUA promoters sell themselves as guys who can train beta boys who are crap at dating and picking up wimminz to be leet sex fiends like the self appointed PUA promoter.
But, like the planting the daffodils, they all omit one vital fact.
The wimminz, and the thing is, the wimminz are absolute fucking crap at the whole dating game, you think *you* were crap beta boy, trust me, you had elite skills that the wimminz could only dream of.
They really cannot discriminate between the asshole, the pump and dump merchant, and the decent guy who they really should be paying attention to…. so they follow the TV model and the most intrusive and annoying and in your face advert is the one that gets remembered.
Which is why the PUA promoters all seem to be intrusive and annoying and in your face I guess, but it means that they too are missing the vital point about the wimminz, which is that they are crap at the whole dating game.
Suddenly you turn from a key that will open any door into a lock that will open for most keys, you’re doing the same thing mentioned above with Julie, not seeing the real Julie, but this time you’re looking in the fucking mirror.
You are not in the driving seat, you are not in control, you are not manipulating events rather than being manipulated by them.
We were doing easy time in an easy (compared to some) jail and old Cess was an easy guy to have in charge of you, but, we weren’t free, so we would take any, and every, opportunity we could get to stick it to the man, without drawing down shit on ourselves.
Even delayed time bomb shit like spelling CUNTS with the daffs was worth doing…. I heard from someone a couple of years later who went to the same place and also became one of old Cess’s trusty’s, that they could do all the gardening chores, but were no longer allowed anywhere near the planting of bulbs… I guess both Cess and the Governor learned their lesson there, which is more than can be said for the fucking PUA promoters.
Wimminz don’t wanna be single and on dating sites and shit, that is their prison, sentenced to life in their own company, with mebbe cats and womb turds, and boy let me tell you they are CRAP at the dating game, so the very first thing you need to keep in your mind at all times is this, they will take any and every opportunity to stick it to you.
March 2, 2014
I’ll be the first to admit that aside from banging a couple of uke skanks, I essentially know sweet fuck all about the country / culture / history, I know for a fact that I do not know enough to hold a worthwhile opinion.
Nevertheless, I apparently know a shit load more than just about everyone in the west, in the MSM, and in politics.
“Ukraine” is as much “*a* country” as the old USSR was *a* country.
Just as there are geological tectonic zones, so there are cultural, racial, religious, historical and national ones. For the rest of this piece, when I say tectonic, it is these latter ones I refer to.
Ukraine sits on top of a particularly active human tectonic zone, to the west is the european zone, which is itself fractured into, at the very least, slavic in the north, romanian / bulgarian in the middle and greek / turk in the south, and to the east is fractured into russ and arab/kazakh, and as if that wasn’t enough, to the south there is the crimea.
It’s a bit like declaring Yellowstone as a national park, and claiming that it is thus preserved somehow, and safe and natural and immune from change, all the while studiously ignoring the super caldera that sits just below the surface.
The other problem is geographical, if you are playing sim city 2014 and want to build any kind of infrastructure going east to west in the northern hemisphere, you’re going to go through Ukraine.
You can argue all you want about who *should* be there, all that matters is who is there now, but one thing those who are “there” now, but never used to be, eg most Ukranians, USAians, Oztralians, Kiwis, etc etc etc etc never actually understand is the mindset of those who have been “there” for centuries.
Hang with *those* indigenous peoples, and they all have the same thing, sooner or later they will start talking about that “bloody foreigner”, who has lived in the village for 40 years, and who was born 20 years before that, 3 miles away… that’s enough to make you a bloody foreigner.
Add political and economic motives to start drawing lines in the ground and you get your tectonic zone activity bubbling up ready for “the big one”
My Romanian advert has not had a single reply, not a sniff, nothing, because it doesn’t matter of you have been there 40 years, or 400, it is home, and you aren’t going to abandon it until there is not enough food or shelter to go around, and dying in the next week or two becomes a real possibility, and you won’t be trawling dating sites looking for a way out when that happens.
But the flipside of the 40/400 years is this, the people you are busy calling foreigners don’t always come from that far away, and if you go there, you are the foreigner, or you’re neither, like my mate who used to claim he had dual nationality, both a Yorkshireman (his dad) and a Lancashireman (his mum) so if you pick a fight, you find lots of people quite close by who identify enough with one party or another to join in.
This if course was always the problem with starting a war in the Crimea, or Northern Europe, it spread.
The accuracy and quality of reporting on the current situation in that region is frankly on a par with past reporting on the lead up to WW1 and WW2 and several other major conflicts, all the important tectonic issues are simply glossed over and ignored, and all we see is people bleeding through bandages and burning flags and grim faces.
In Latitude terms, Ukraine has Kiev in the north, which is slightly further south than London, and Sevastopol in the south, which is slightly further north than Marsailles, and while Berlin to Paris is 600 miles as the army marches, Ukraine to Austria is only 500.
The Romans could march that in 12 days.
If you look at the Roman territories 2,000 years ago, they went further east than Ukraine, but stayed just below it, along that tectonic line I mentioned, and above that, well, it was fucking barbarian tribes innit. eg already FUBAR by the Mongol hordes….
Go back another 2,300 years before the Romans to Sargon of akkad, arguably the first great empire the world ever saw, same tectonic border.
Byzantines, same tectonic shit.
The horizontal line dividing north and south tectonic regions has been pretty stable for the past 5,000 years, eg all of recorded human history.
The vertical line dividing east and west tectonic regions is a fucking moving target of a fracture zone, and has been for the past 5,000 years, eg all of recorded human history.
Do I think I can predict WW3 starting, fuck no, I got no more idea than anyone else, I just know it is a fucking tinderbox, and has been throughout human history.
I wouldn’t go fracking in Yellowstone either…lol
It’s fucking 1,700 miles away, and there is the small matter of the English/French Channel, that’s close enough for me.
Go on, look at a world map, then start colouring in trouble spots, say 1990 onwards, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, Turkey, Azerbaijan, tell me ain’t tectonic.
March 1, 2014
To my mind, The Register lost the plot about 12 years ago, it went from a tech blog / news stand site to a commercial enterprise, that of course employed wimminz… people like Guy (Kewney, not Goma, lol, inside joke there) was a pretty good guy, knew his stuff, but it didn’t take long for his daughter to get a seat at the table, and I can’t say the same about her output.
So, resident smartarse A Dabbs pens this
So you’re a tech journo, and you don’t know anyone who uses WhatsApp, nor can you even be bothered to go and find out what it is before you wrote the article.
Much like the MSM, who rant on about Zuckerberg / Fuckbook paying 19 billion for whatsapp, ah well, at 45 bucks per user that gets them phone numbers and such so maybe not such a bad deal.
Speaking personally, I have used whatsapp for years, simply because you could send attachments such as pictures and video for free, unlike MMS, yes, whatsapp is popular for dating / swinging, so is kik.
The other thing whatsapp did out of the tin was multiple messaging / group messaging, not something I used personally, but I know people who did.
So, what are Dabbs and the MSM missing, what does that big sack of stupid Zuckerberg know that makes Whatsapp worth 19 billion.
Take a look at Microsoft Lync, which came out in force last year (2013), and Whatsapp, and compare the two.
One notable difference is Fuckbook could not buy Lync, it wasn’t for sale, it was also mainly targeted at corporates, who wouldn’t be too keen on integrating Fuckbook into day to day operations, oh, if only there was a CONSUMER version of Lync…. hello Whatsapp, wanna suck my lollipop?
I’ve been sitting here for a week now, waiting for someone, anyone, to make the connection between Lync and Whatsapp, they just did, in a nerdy tech blog you probably never heard of, but still no mention anywhere else, not even mainstream tech media, so what the fuck.
Lync / Whatsapp is the killer app that makes things like Google Glass work, in the same way that optical media (Red Book) and optical fibre are the killer app that made lasers work.
Think Alien2 where the guy in the command module is directing the movements of the troops, which are monitored through helmet cams…
The physical object, and the guy with the expertise in that physical object, no longer have to be in touching distance of each other.
Got a UXB you need defused? send in the drone, wanna clean up Fukushima, send in the drone, wanna bring Telefon to the 21st century, send in the drone, wanna undercut the other plumbers, send in the drone.
Dabbsy and other scribblers, fuck drones, send in some monkeys, they are as relevant.
February 28, 2014
Albeit that it is already several years past the point where I said that any sane person would have to act NOW, it seems that several sacred cows are being lined up in my region for very public sacrifice on the altar.
Street lighting, children’s homes, wimminz refuges, are all for the chop.
To be sure, none of these are going entirely, it’s more a case of Heinz only offering 51 varieties, not 57, but still, some troughs are closing, and those who had their noses firmly stuck in them are screaming blue murder, and those with their noses in similar troughs are forming the backing group.
It’s interesting, why were these particular sacred cows chosen?
Were they chosen because they would generate such outrage that the whole idea could be shelved? See, nobody wanted us to cut corners.
Or, were they chosen because once you have gotten them through, you can get anything through?
It’s interesting also because enough people have enough other problems, that not many have much to spare for these problems, no matter how much media focus they get.
It’s interesting because, in the case of the wimminz shelter, which of course grabbed 99.999% of the media coverage, the media gave air time to the council’s response, which was basically “look, it’s 2014, between the courts and the police and shit, it’s the guy who gets kicked out of the home, the wimminz don’t need to run away to a refuge…“
Which is of course true, almost the exact words I uttered 60 seconds earlier when the segment started.
It all gets very interesting when you look at the actual numbers, an annual budget of £14 million, of which £9 million comes from central guvvmint, and £5 million from local taxation and revenues, and the wimminz shelter that is getting all the attention, it represents 1.4% of that.
If you earn £250 a week takehome, 1.4% of that is £3.50, a pint of beer.
So as budgetary cuts go, there are not of the order of turning all the heating off and wearing a pullover / scarf / wooly hat indoors, these are of the order of giving up your daily latte takeaway on the way to work.
So why choose such a high profile subject, why not give up the takeaway latte, not what they have done, give up the kids daily fruit ration.
From the inside, I’m guessing all the options look equally bad, but the fact is the cuts have to be made, and essentially these cuts do NOT lay off anyone directly employed by the council, they aren’t STAFF.
The Palace is laying off all the court groupies, but nobody who actually works within the Palace itself.
1.4% here, 1.4% there, 1.4% over there, before you know it, you’ve cut the budget by 7%, which is not inconsiderable, and you have managed to outsource all that pain, no Palace staff cuts.
Sure, lots of people are complaining, but they are all outside the Palace walls.
Nobody *inside* the palace is presiding over a smaller number of staff.
This is the *other* side of the externalisation boomerang, when the thing starts to come back at ya… you lived by the sword, living to excess from the taxes taken from others, now it is time to die by the sword, and pare chunks off your own body as the revenues dry up.
And of course it is this very aversion that means that those with the power to make the cuts, will cut off all external limbs before even considering losing some fat themselves.
And notably, all those being cut, the strongest argument they can come up with is always the same, yes, we cost money, but without us the costs are far higher…. one wimminz murdered at home by an evil abusive man costs the state as much as it costs to provide places for ten wimminz for a year…
To which my reply is that clearly the “investigation” into the above murder was also a vast waste of resources…. there are few things that are more open and shut than a domestic that ends in death…evidence wise…. quite apart from the fact that 95% of the time the first thing the survivor does is admit to the killing.
Physician, Heal thyself!
February 27, 2014
I have to be careful what I say here, for obvious reasons, so you’ll have to work with me at reading between the lines, the lines that in my own self interest I cannot state outright.
In the past year at my current gig, and my current gig is Cisco kid and front man for all the big telecomms companies, and their clients, which is all the high street and industrial sites you can shake a stick it, so basically a broad and very representative cross section of the industry, so yes, in the past year at my current gig, I have seen changes.
These are not changes for the better, and even if you do not do my job, you literally cannot live without coming into contact with the sites I work at, so, you should be worried.
Edward Snowdon / NSA aside, the job at the fundamental level is the same, I work *at* layers 2 and 3 all day long, which of course means touching all the other layers too, to make sure what I have just done is working as expected, or has fixed the fault, etc etc etc, but 90% of the job is switches and routers.
It should not really be a surprise that this hasn’t changed appreciably in the past 12 months, because it (the internet and technology) hasn’t changed appreciably in the past 12 months.
What has changed is management and the economy, and those things affect everything else about my job.
Depending on the job and the client, there are now up to three separate entities that want to know when I arrive on site, when I start work, when I finish work, when I leave site, and to give me opening and closing ticket numbers for all these things…. a year ago there was one, our own NOC.
These things are “important” in the sense that it is this paper chase that ensures that everyone in the chain gets paid, and everyone in the chain knows what everyone else is doing.
If you are thinking we are getting to the point where 99 people in mission control in Houston give one monkey in a tinfoil suit the go ahead to undo three screws and open an access panel, you’re getting the right idea.
If you think every one of those 99 people has a better salary and a better job title than the monkey in the tinfoil suit, you’re getting the right idea.
Let me give you a small example of management and complexity.
Nowadays the essential tools are a smartphone and laptop.
The smartphone, it is used to make phone calls, it is used to send and receive emails, it is used to tether the laptop to allow transfer of files and remote sessions, and it is used to log into corporate systems like work diaries and updating job ticket info via VPN sessions….. it is also used as often as not as a camera, a gps, and a torch / magnifier.
Phone calls, they are fairly easy for phones to make, call quality can vary widely, and usually does as the network carrier tries to squeeze ever more blood out of the stone, but generally speaking you can make a call any time you like.
Emails are like sms, it’s a push service, doesn’t matter what reception is like now, sooner or later you’ll come in range of a strong enough signal and push will work.
Tethering is the next level of difficulty, maintaining a network connection to t’internet via the mobile company’s portal, but again, http is a resilient technology that harks back to the days of 9,600 baud, so mainly it works, eventually.
Then there is VPN, this is the hardest one of all, as it sits on top of all the other layers of what a mobile phone does, and has to do it without interruption for the VPN to work, think streaming video with no buffering or pausing.
Thanks to the changes in management and the 99 people in mission control waiting to give me the green light to do x, VPN is now the mission critical technology, and, you guessed it, by definition VPN is also the flakiest, and this is BEFORE the phone network itself starts suffering from congestion and other issues.
So this mission critical piece of kit was selected on the basis of it worked in the corporate HQ in London 400 metres and line of sight from three separate 4g base stations, why would it not work in rural here-be-dragonshire 300 miles away???? and it is cheap cheap cheap per month per handset, so what if the monthly data limits per handset are measly, so we have to turn off dropbox uploads via mobile data….
So the 99 people in mission control are having meetings and memos and stuff, trying to resolve their 99 separate issues and sets of requirements, which currently are not being met to five nines six sigma astroglide three bangs for your butt standards… go figure…
Along with this influx of new creative and management types in the food chain, the amount and quality of information I am given about each job, prior to arrival on site, falls from minimalist through woefully incomplete and incorrect into the territory known as sweet fuck all.
So I’ll sit outside the address I have been given, and ring the number I have been given, probably not of the remote engineer or project manager, probably just the generic NOC main switchboard number, and a job number, and say, sweetly, “So, what the fuck am I supposed to be doing here today, apart from turning up?“
I’ll then go on-site and ask the bods there, who despite their total lack of technical knowledge, often know more than mission control, because mission control were told, but have lost the data… “no, it’s been playing up for 3 weeks, I keep telling them the same thing and they keep ignoring me“, is a common refrain that I hear.
Since mission control only ever contact me and speak to me (as opposed to talk to me, or listen to me) as an individual when there has been a fuck up and a post mortem is in the winds, it is painfully obvious that not only is my input as unwelcome as that of the aforementioned on site non technical bods, it basically doesn’t exist.
I am not in and of mission control, ergo I cannot possibly have anything useful to say.
*this* my friends is a truism I have seen repeated over and over and over again throughout my life and across every business sector and country.
I’m not saying the monkey in the tinfoil suit should be propelled from monkey status to the Oracle of Delphi at the right hand of God on the highest chair in mission control…. I’m as likely to be talking crap and missing the bigger picture as anyone in mission control.
I’m not even saying the monkey in the tinfoil suit *does* know anything they do not already know… “Well fucking DUH… did you cunts not think to go to the mobile carriers and say our first priority is stable VPN everywhere, whaddaya got? Did you cunts not think telling an engineer the scope of works prior to arrival on site was a useful idea? Do you cunts not think giving the engineer copies of the latest relevant procedure for each job as a matter of course would be preferable to the usual boilerplate disclaimer that the latest project documents could be found somewhere in the encorpera intranet wikidoc server?“
Of course they know all this shit, but it doesn’t matter which monkey in mission control you talk to, it’s never the one who made these choices, just the one who has to work with them… and so do you.
If you are a class A fucking idiot you will stick your head above the parapet and actually fucking RESPOND to one of the fucking memo’s sent out after mission control’s post mortem decides they Need Another Seven Astronauts, your job as a monkey in a tinfoil suit in orbit is to READ this shit, not comment on it.
If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail… if all you have are mangers in mission control, every problem looks like something that needs more micro-management….
If you are a class B fucking idiot, you will start writing..
09:00 arrived on site in car park
09:05 reported to agency A that I am on site 09:12 reported to agency B that I am on site 09:20 managed to enter site and get to work location 09:35 managed to get in touch with agency A and get go ahead 09:47 managed to get in touch with agency B and get go ahead 09:49 commence work 09:50 job done, problem resolved yadda yadda yadda 10:42 finally leave site
That’s taking the piss outta mission control boy.
So why these changes in my workplace?
Because of the economy, dummy, a company cannot grow, shrink, expand, contract, do business, not do business, take on new customers, respond to new partners and market changes, without taking on more managers.
And yes, you guessed it, a goodly proportion of these useless assholes looking to have check-boxes ass cunt and mouth filled so they can proceed with their ISO certification are fucking wimminz.
Bitch, all you do every day is type shit into engineer’s daily fucking diaries, is it really so much fucking trouble to make that information both complete and accurate, and longer than this paragraph?
So I have a fucking clue what I am supposed to be doing?
That way I can get off site quicker and chill, content with the knowledge that I removed those three fasteners and opened the access panel with as much skill and style and panache as any other monkey who ever donned a tinfoil suit, and get on with more important shit in my life, like scratching my balls….
February 26, 2014
so, just as you cannot be “just a little bit” pregnant, nor can you be just a little bit of a thief, just a little bit disloyal, just a little bit disobedient, just a little bit dishonest.
Sure, there are degrees of all of each, a wimminz who is 6 months pregnant is more advanced than a wimminz who is 3 months pregnant, but she is not *more* pregnant, nor is the wimminz who is 3 months pregnant less pregnant, as in not pregnant.
It’s a conversation I have had over and over and over with wimminz, they will pull some shit, I will call them on it, and they will say something, and I will call them on that, and then they all say a variation of the same thing.
“Well, what am I supposed to say, what can I say that will make a difference?“
You could try the fucking truth bitch, as in the whole fucking truth and nothing but the whole fucking truth, none of this just a little bit of lies shit.
For variations of little that are as meaningful as the differences between being 3 and 6 months pregnant, compared to being not pregnant…. eg not a fucking lot.
Just a little bit corrupt, just a little bit of espionage, just a little bit of fraud, just a little bit of war in the Crimea.
Just for shits and giggles, I’m currently running a bet with someone, so I posted a genuine sounding personals ad in a Romanian website, not a dating website, just a general one, and the advert tells the truth about me.
His bet is I will get several answers from Romanian wimminz eager to get away to the “rich” west and have a new start.
My bet is I will get sweet fuck all, and the obvious scams are of course excluded from the definition of contact or answers or replies.
We have given it six weeks to run, so y’all may have to remind me nearer the date, as I suspect, getting no answers, I’m likely to completely forget about it.
My excuse is that if you buy me beer and then show me pikcherz like the one above saying things like, how bad can it be dude, even if you lose this is the booby prize, go on, have another beer… it weakens my resolve.
He thinks they will be clamouring to get out, not just because of the poverty, but all the shit going down next door in Ukraine.
My reasoning is under the terms of the bet, to even *see* my advert they have to have regular net access, so right away we are excluding all the dirt poor ones, and in any event, I know for a fact that the western employment agencies have been setting up camp in Romania for months, looking for cheap labour for jobs back here in the UK, which they can now work in, legally, so the visa bait is removed from the table as well as the economic one.
All that is left is a fresh start in a new and more prosperous country with a guy in his 50′s in decent shape but no illusions about the true nature of wimminz.
I’m betting on AWALT you see.
He is betting on hypergamy, I don’t believe it exists, if it does, I am for sure higher status and wealth and standard of living than your average Romanian buck, I know, I’ve met and worked with a few of them, being exploited by IBM at the time they were, guys whose whole weeks wages wouldn’t pay one night in a shared twin room in a motel here, brought here from Romania to fulfil an IBM UK contract, because they were cheaper than IBM UK staff, even including flights and motel costs.
So I know for a fact, if hypergamy exists, I am damn good bait.
Not just a little bit, either…
February 22, 2014
A very clever man and writer of science fiction, Vonnegut, said that people project their own beliefs upon the canvas, but, what he didn’t talk about, was how those beliefs got there in the first place.
I can take absolutely no credit for the fact that by the time I had hit my teens, I had seen and been immersed in more cultures than most people see in a lifetime.
This alone made things that were invisible to people who had not travelled, absolutely blatant to me.
Let’s take http://shtfschool.com/
The guys makes some very valid points, 99% of people don’t see him as dangerous, thanks to Hollywood and society.
Those who are seen by the rest of society as very dangerous, I see as merely very annoying, because the fact is it is only my reluctance to go against the mores of society, and bring shit down on my own head, that allows them the freedom to be what they are, which is basically asswipes.
There are also those who are not, per se, dangerous themselves, but who manage to manufacture all manner of trouble and strife, again, society protects them and allows them to be what they are.
The Bosnian tells a story about a building coming down around them and one guy getting trapped by the legs/feet, the Bosnian himself didn’t know what to do, another guy did, either GTFO and leave the trapped guy to die, or do what he did, step right in, hack his legs off, and drag him out.
With the greatest respect to Americans, they got this disease first, then it got exported to the rest of the west, and it is no surprise the yanks got it first, that’s where Hollyweird is.
The disease is thinking you have to be built like Dwayne Johnson to be dangerous, or covered in tats, or both, or infamous in some other way, like Ralph Moat here in the UK, or Dale Cregan.
To be sure, people like Moat and Cregan may well have a propensity for violence, but, being brutally honest here, they aren’t any fucking good at it… Harold Shipman on the other hand, now there was a dangerous fucker.
Charles Bronson (the prisoner, not the actor) is widely labelled as the most violent prisoner in Britain, really? He never killed anyone, never even put anyone in a wheelchair, but Peter Sutcliffe killed 13.
Of course, all these people got caught, which is how we know about them, and it must also be said that to be dangerous, a person does not have to physically attack you, they can quite easily see a small chain of events, watch it happen, and watch you drown, or burn, or bleed out, and do nothing, because while they may not ultimately be the *cause* of your demise, if they can watch it and do nothing to intervene, they are also quite capable of causing it.
In a different time and in a different place I had a conversation with a guy I used to hang with now and again, he used to do reps with the full Olympic set of weights, from memory 37.5 stone, or 525 lbs, so of course the assumption was he was the “bodyguard” and I was the “client” eg he was the one to tread lightly around, so there has been a couple of close calls, which invariably mean you ignored all the warnings to not be there, no matter what your reasons were or how “good” they were, there were plenty of hints if you didn’t mind looking like a chickenshit…
… so the conversation came around to shooting the shit, and I admitted (vino veritas… ) this one time this guy nearly drowned, and I was banging his wife, and I thought about just doing nothing, and then did something, and hauled him back on board, I was OK with banging her, I didn’t want to be stuck with her…. it was a mistake to be honest, because it soon swings to bullshit about if you did that to my wife, and then to recent events, and he said something about “you ever think about wasting me or letting me croak, you better thing twice..”
So, vino veritas, told him, “Oh, I already faced that dilemma.”
“Huh?” he says, “what do you mean?“
Told him, vino veritas again, “You alive ain’t ya.” and grinned.
That was the last time he ever spoke to me.. odd huh.. lol.. but the fact is that is what I had learned by the time I hit my teens, fuck Hollywood, piss someone off and they will get even by putting a knife in your kidneys, in a dark alley, while you are drunk… with no witnesses, that way even if you got crew, they don’t know who did it.
When I was a boy it was the Chinese, they would put bamboo shavings (if you ever get to see wild bamboo, grab it and try to slide you hand down it, it will hurt, thousand of tiny needles will break off in your skin) in your food, rip your stomach lining out, bleed to death internally, slow and very painful and messy, and no cure, so it was a great lesson, pour encourager les autres…
This is why I act chickenshit, I grew up knowing how easy it was for a dangerous person (nota bene, I make no distinction between males and females) fuck your shit up beyond repair, and of course it makes me all fucked up, because I can’t quite get rid of the constant amazement when I see self declared or publicly perceived hard men pull their shit, and not get wiped out…. but still, I figure better to be wrong this way, than the other way, eg being like them when / as / if the shit does hit the fan.
Like the Bosnian says, most people simply had no fucking idea how to behave, and when you encountered those few who did, they came from the most unlikely places / roles you’d expect to find such a person.
The chances are, if your date of birth is any time after 1960 and you have lived in the western world all your life, you have never actually been exposed to dangerous people, there was cancer and accidental death, apart from that you were golden and immortal.
So all you have seen, are false and misleading representations of what is dangerous… you’ve all seen the putin vs obama images… http://www.murderuk.com/serial_killers.html
Really, so that would make putin more dangerous to the average western citizen than obama?
Is it mere coinkydink that the messages, the programming, that has been shoved into every head in the western world, is so at odds with reality?
Is it pure coinkydink that everything those who fought in the last war about dangerous people and survival has been turned on its head today?
Bosnia wasn’t that fucking long ago, and apart from outliers like the Bosnian guy, there is no reporting of what really went down on the ground, despite plenty of people being there, despite plenty of journalists, all we ever saw were alleged massed graves and that dangerous and evil Slobodan Bastard, but no actual reporting.
Of course “they” learnt that lesson in Korea / Vietnam, there were reporters who did report what actually went on, and that completely undermined support for the “war” in question, so that could never be allowed to happen again.
Pure coinkydink that modern history isn’t taught any more either, just propoganda, all the recent shit in the MSM about Ukraine, not a single mention of the historical east/west ethnic split, or the current and proposed gas and oil pipelines running east to west connecting russia to china and europe… no siree.. pure coinkydink..
I was at Bovington (the UK tank museum and base) recently, and off the record there are plenty of guys there who will freely admit the one thing they do not want to oppose, and they pity any poor fucker who does, is the Russki T90 tank… and unlike the youtube armchair army, most of these guys have seen them in the flesh and some have seen inside and ridden them.
Pure coinkydink that almost everything you see and hear in the MSM is like the magicians’ “flourish” hand, the one he wants you to watch, so you don’t see the other one palming the budgie.
Or maybe I’m just a paranoid delusional type, and you are better off ignoring me, and being afraid of teh big bad wooluf